Monday, March 8, 2010

If I had my way...(or a Magic Lamp?)

--A serving of two chocolate chip cookies (like those I surreptitiously ate at 10:30 this morning--shhh!) would contain the majority of your daily vitamins and minerals.  Broccoli and green beans, on the other hand, would contain empty calories, making them "treats" to be enjoyed only occasionally, in moderation (and before anyone starts to yammer about the stellar nutritional value of the leafy green stuff, let me clarify: I do like the healthy stuff...but I LOVE dessert : )

--A magical, mysterious occurrence would take place each year, triggered by people everywhere flipping their calendars from February to March.  Once our pages were all synchronized (do NOT be late!), it would signal the instant and official end of Winter. The temperature from that point on would never dip below 50 degrees. Any remaining snow would disappear overnight. (Anyone know where I can get me some fairy dust, to make this happen?)

--The human body would really only need to be exercised for a half-hour or so, once or twice a week, to remain in ultra-flexible, toned, cardio-vascularly fit (I think I made that word up, did you notice?) form. Oh, and it almost goes without saying: you wouldn't gain any weight by chowing down and skipping workouts, either! Now I'm not knocking the Great Designer or anything, I'm just saying that if I could get away with minimal exercise, without turning into an out-of-breath, chubby, flabby girl, that would be awesome!

--Finally, as I go downstairs to oversee yet another load of astonishingly dirty clothing shed by my sons (I swear they roll in mud puddles for fun...I just haven't actually caught them at it yet), my ultimate wish would be for my house to be completely surrounded by an invisible "Grime Barrier".  All filth would just automatically fall off of clothing, and shoes, and even hands and faces, at the door when anyone entered. (The garage would become a disaster area, but I can live with that--Husband's territory!)

So that's my Dream--but back in Reality: I have to go sweep up the pebbles and sand and soil from the floor by the kitchen door...then put on another sweater since I'm cold...then transfer the (hopefully restored-to-original-color) laundry to the dryer...then (sigh) lift weights. Maybe when I'm done all that, I'll have a few more well-earned, nutritious chocolate chip cookies!

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