Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Are we getting graded on this?

My entire life, I've operated on some variation of a "School Calendar"...first my own education, following the traditional K-12 schema, then the semester-plan of college and graduate school, and finally my professional life...in which I have worked at either an elementary school or a college! I point this out because for me, September 1st has always been a time of beginnings and resolutions, much more than the cold, dark middle-of-Winter when we're supposed to make changes and improvements. I mean c'mon, you've got fresh pencils and notebooks, new clothes and shoes, a different teacher and classmates--it's like an exhilarating Fall Makeover every year (or is that just me? sometimes it's hard to tell if everyone else indulges their Inner Geek like I do)!

So here we are at the starting line of another academic year, motivated to meet whatever goals we set, and poised for success. And how would we characterize our expectations at this early point in the long school process? I'd have to say our Plan can be summarized in one simple phrase: Baby Steps. (Although to be honest, "Plan" is a bit of a fancy term for the proceedings...since I'm the only one who invests the time and energy to ponder the September Self-Help Agenda, and therefore am also the only one who even knows about it. In that case, I guess I'm using the "Royal We" and dragging the boys along whether they wish to participate or not!) The most obvious Family Objective was to adjust to the new waking-up-and-getting-out schedule. For the first time, Derek and Riley would be attending separate schools, catching different buses, and adhering to distinct timelines in the morning. I had this ambitious, enthusiastic idea that I would now rise earlier in the morning, to check in with Derek before he left for Middle School. We would bond over coffee! We would have quality chats in the quiet kitchen! And it did happen...for exactly one day. On the first day of school I managed to be That Mom--you know, the awake, alert, dressed-for-work, pulled-together one--at the bus stop at 7:30...and then that was quite the end of that, thank you very much. I was quickly reminded that chipper and conversational are not normal descriptors of me in the pre-8:00 hour, whether caffeinated or not. Besides, when Derek arrives home at 3:00, I'm the only one here, and Afternoon Quality Time counts just as much (I rationalized). Also, he gets to spend uninterrupted a.m. moments catching up with Dad. Whew, one resolution out the window!

The next Opportunity for Growth (sounds more positive and less painful that way, yes?) sprung from my sudden realization that I have been coddling my kids a little too much. I suppose I can partially attribute it to my own Type-A perfectionist tendencies, but it dawned on me that I'm still doing almost everything for the boys (because I do it best! no wait, I'm trying to break the habit!) Neither of them has ever had a fixed list of chores they are expected to accomplish; it's always been more of a "Spontaneous Request Formula" where Husband or I assign a job at any given moment and it is expected to be done immediately. Well, no more! Those cushy days of freedom and irresponsibility are O-V-E-R! Of course, we're not subjecting them to a Boot Camp-like experience, where they must rise in the pre-dawn and complete their jobs before breakfast. We're talking more like: empty the wastebaskets a few times a week; bring the garbage and recycling cans to the curb and back; make their own lunches for school (YEEEESSSS! FINALLY!); and help fold and put away the laundry. You can see we've started small, so as to ease them into the new framework, while hopefully minimizing complaints and maximizing cooperation. For the most part, it's gone remarkably smoothly...except for the one isolated incident in which Derek (exercising his First Amendment Right to Freedom of Speech, obnoxious-Middle-Schooler-style) stared me down with folded arms and a severe expression and declared, "I refuse to accept the burden of responsibility that has been laid on me!" Oh, really? Get back to folding the napkins, goober! Or there'll be no chow for you!

I harbor high hopes that as we enter September, Team WestEnders will continue to meet or exceed expectations, setting the bar ever higher as we go. Hmm...next up: we teach the boys to perform yard work! Whoo hoo!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

All Cool for School...

Tomorrow marks the end of Summer Vacation, the beginning of the New School Year, and thus the return to our Normal Schedule around here. While all of that sounds less-than-newsworthy...mundane,even...after the wacky events of the past week or so in Maryland, "boring" and "predictable" will be welcomed with open arms! Typically in August, we resign ourselves to hot, muggy, uncomfortable conditions and even while we begin to yearn for the cool crispness of Fall. But this year, the Mid-Atlantic Weather Menu served up: violent thunderstorms (with a side of hail); an earthquake (accompanied by a heaping helping of "are you kidding me? you've got the wrong coast!); and finally, a hurricane (flavored with high winds and torrential downpours). I'm telling you right now, if I peer through my window anytime soon and spot either locusts or frogs, I am outta here!

So anyway, after the big Irene Preparations--stocking up on food, charging flashlight batteries, and general "battening down the hatches"...whatever that's supposed to mean--we sailed through the storm relatively unscathed. The power never went out (so, SO grateful for that), both the house and our street escaped flooding, nothing seemed to get broken...and late in the afternoon the next day, the sun actually reappeared! The four of us spent a pleasant hour or so zig-zagging through the yard, retrieving lots of broken twigs and small branches, which represented the extent of the damage. Even our Lawn Gnome still stood stoically in front of the house, having withstood the battering without falling over and cowering under his adjacent bush.

Then it was time to start thinking about Monday, the first day of 3rd grade (Riley), Middle School (Derek), and the semester (me). I tried to gently introduce the notion of returning to school--without freaking the boys out too much--by reminding them that they should pack their lunches after dinner. (And may I just pause a moment here for a deeply heartfelt cry of YAY! NOT MY JOB ANYMORE! Thank you, I'm good now.) This suggestion was met with groans. Next I asked Derek how he would prefer to depart Slumberland in the morning: the personal-but-jarring "Wakey Wakey" method (implemented by Husband), or the anonymous-and-peaceful "Clock Radio" route. I got a noncommittal, mumbled, "I don't know." At least I provoked a reaction when I teasingly inquired as to what "Special Outfit" he would choose for his first day. He favored me with a "Mom has 3 Heads and is Speaking a Foreign Language" look, before subsiding into lethargy again and muttering, "I don't know." Sigh. He did, however, became quite animated when complaining about the fact that Husband, who will be delivering him to the Bus Stop every day at his new, too-early-for-Mom hour, forces him to...walk. (Rather than the Daily System of the last several years, in which we race out of the house with our pants on fire because we've inevitably pushed it until the last possible second, and peel out Andretti-like to the end of the street, screeching to a halt mere milliseconds before the bus shows up.) Derek seemed both horrified and outraged when relating this injustice, but I informed him that the Objectionable Parental Behavior occurs during the BMC Timezone...Before Mom's Coffee, that is...and therefore I could not assist him.

Nevertheless, backpacks sit at the ready near the door, stuffed to the zippers with fresh supplies; the boys retired at a decent school-night bedtime; and tomorrow we'll be revved to hit the ground running....probably to catch the bus! (Maybe I should go set up the coffeepot before turning in, myself...)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

One Final Summer Nature Experience

Well, folks, we here at Casa WestEnders have certainly lived out a successful, enjoyable, jam-packed Summer of Fun...but I'm starting to pick up unmistakable signs that it's nearly time for the school year to get underway. How do I know this so definitively? First of all, I'm growing weary of running Mom's Diner and feeding the Bottomless-Pit Brothers every few hours of every day. Secondly, the easygoing camaraderie and cooperation that marked the early days of vacation have given way to late-season button-pushing and pointless roundabout bickering. ("I didn't do anything!" "Yes, you did!" ad nauseum.) Third, I believe we may have reached the point of Togetherness Overload...the exact moment of saturation happened to have been reached on Monday morning, when we went to the Library for our last set of books to get us through until September. I pulled the car into one of the few shady spots in the parking lot, to hearty groans of, "But it's so FAR from the door!" (Yeah, they've got End-of-August Fatigue, alright!) I dismissed their complaints with a firm, "You're young and strong, you'll be fine!" To which Derek instantly responded, "We're just worried about you, Mom!" Excuse me? "I'm not old and fragile!" I retorted. So Riley chimed in, with his best placating tone, "Well, not old..." Aww, thanks, honey...wait, does that mean I'm supposed to be frail now?

Fortunately, our Last Hurrah of the week-before-school involved a nice long walk on the Capital Crescent Trail, so I could prove to my darling sons that I'm not quite ready for a cane and a big glass of Geritol...just yet. The Weather Gods have been looking favorably on us the past few days, with sunny skies, next-to-no humidity, and temperatures in the low 80s. In fact, first thing in the morning Derek weaved his way downstairs wrapped tightly in his fleece throw-blanket, complaining that his toes were cold and asking me to "turn up the thermostat." (Um, dude, the windows are open and it's 72 degrees in the house....ever heard of socks?) So conditions were absolutely stellar for our Bethesda excursion. We parked at the trailhead and began strolling through the shady trees on the 2-lane, paved path. Funny--before we went, I did have to talk up this particular outing, because it sounded too tame to my Appalacian Trail-seasoned hikers! Riley put it quite succinctly: "We don't like walking on pavement...it's BORING!" Okay, I admit it was a much easier trek than our usual rocky, hilly, dirt-packed path; however, it was an exceptionally pleasant 3-mile walk-in-the-park on a stunningly gorgeous late-August weekday. (We could have made it even further--if I'd packed provisions, of course!) When we finished, we still had enough energy to amble around the streets of Bethesda, peering into cute little shops...and yes, having a bite to eat. Then, relaxed and refreshed from our Nature Interlude, we drove back home. I mention this mundane little detail only because while we were in the car on Georgia Avenue, we apparently missed an earthquake. Yep, magnitude 5.9, centered in Virginia, and I guess we're an awesome commercial for Subaru, because we felt nothing at all! (Didn't even know it happened until I saw the Facebook freak-outs! And incidentally, not one thing in our house had moved--thank goodness.)

I'd venture to say that's quite enough excitement to conclude our Summer! From here on in--until next Monday--our ambitious plan includes long periods of peaceful rest...punctuated of course by Snack Breaks!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Cumberland Part 2: on trails and rails

After a relaxing night of lounging and snoozing at the just-swanky-enough Fairfield Inn, the boys and I awoke refreshed and ready for our continuing Cumberland Quest. But for our critical first order of business, we journeyed all the way down to the lobby...to pillage and plunder the Breakfast Bar. If that sounds a mite overly-exaggerated to describe the typical, low-key first meal of the day, then you've clearly never witnessed Derek the Devourer, decimating a free all-you-can-eat spread. Granted, this was the most varied and generous complimentary breakfast we've personally ever encountered, but here's what my 11-year old tucked away: one bagel with butter, one Belgian waffle, eggs, sausage, bacon, an apple, juice, and chocolate milk. (Riley chowed down slightly less than that...I was just thrilled they had fresh, hot coffee with real cream!) Thus fortified for our day, we stepped outside to stretch our legs and enjoy the coolish morning air. When arriving the night before, we had been pleased and surprised to notice that the hotel overlooked both the C&O Canal (with its parallel dirt-packed Towpath) and also the Allegheny Trail (a smooth, lightly-graveled former railway line, converted for walker/biker use); in other words, we had a number of delightful options for a morning stroll, immediately outside our door! With full stomachs, we chose to do a gentle walk along the Allegheny, waving to others who passed us on sneakers or wheels as we ambled along.

Then it was "All Aboard" to ride the rails, on an old-fashioned train pulled by Steam Engine #734. Even though I was recording the moment with my digital camera, watching the thick black smoke billowing up into the sky, and the uniformed Conductor taking our tickets, I felt like I should be carrying a parasol and wearing a hoop skirt for this excursion. (And what did my ultra-modern little voyagers comment on? They were outraged by the environmentally-harmful pollution produced by the coal-burning engine. Okay, so all of my Save-the-Earth preaching has sunk in...I promised them we'd pledge a Carbon Offset Donation when we got home to make up for it. Sigh.) Our journey spanned 16 uphill miles (encompassing a 1,300 foot elevation change) of mountainous country between Cumberland and Frostburg, on winding track, over elevated bridges, and through one tunnel. At times you could practically reach out and touch the rocky cliffs--which presumably had been blasted away when laying the track--lining the route. We passed a few small towns along the way, chugged over some highway crossings, and cruised very near several neighborhoods that lay close to the line. You could walk around your compartment or even between cars whenever the mood took you, so we left our seats several times to stand in one of the open areas and look out the sides or back of the train for a while. It was altogether super-cool (as long as you remembered to keep your head in, to avoid the blowing cinders)!

When we steamed into Frostburg, we had a one-and-a-half hour "layover" to explore the small-town environs and find a midday meal. A stranger--seemingly a Local--spotted us peering about aimlessly and recommended his favorite hometown eatery, the Princess Restaurant. I can tell you, we would have walked right past it on our own, as it boasts nothing to admire from the outside. But when you enter, you find yourself stepping backwards in time into a diner-like joint: wooden booths equipped with mini-jukeboxes, soda-fountain-counter running the length of the room, open grill in plain sight where you can watch the cook slinging burgers...oh, and cheap, tasty, hot food as well...awesome! After the lunch interlude, it was downhill (I mean that in the literal, topographical sense, not in terms of our appreciation) back to Cumberland for the end of our odyssey. All that remained was for us to reclaim our car and return home to tell Husband the stories. We had such a good time, particularly with the assortment of hiking alternatives available to us, only some of which we were able to take advantage of on this trip, that we're already planning to go back to Cumberland as a family in the Fall to soak up crisper temperatures and colorful foliage...and of course fine dining! (Hmm, do you think the Western Maryland Tourist Board would hire me on as a PR Specialist? I'll write glowing reports if they put us up at the Fairfield Inn and feed my family!)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Cumberland Part 1: on foot and by car

Well, Summer 2011 may be winding down, but Team WestEnders is not quite ready to throw in the towel (beach or otherwise) just yet. The boys and I had one more adventure that we wanted to pursue before facing the return of school and work. It was an excursion I discovered last year, but we never got around to doing: taking a train ride on the Western Maryland Scenic Railroad. Depending on how you look at it, the outing would either count as an Extended Field Trip or a Mini Vacation, since it would necessarily involve an overnight stay in historic Cumberland, Maryland. The basic logistics included a two-hour drive westward, and a 3-1/2 hour train trip--both winding through beautiful mountainous countryside. With this in mind, I began filling in other details, to try to create a full, fun 2-day agenda. First I added a hike to the plan, since every time we drive on I-70 West, we've noted the Appalacian Trail crossing overhead. Then I had to investigate where we would sleep for the night. I wage a constant internal battle between the voice that admonishes "Be Frugal, Save Money!" and the one that reminds me how spoiled we ALL have become by staying at Marriotts...I think I've completely ruined the boys for "bargain motels" after exposing them to cushy amenities like indoor pools and Sleep Number beds (and how ridiculous is it that my pre-teen children actually know the word "amenities"?) Also, knowing that Cumberland is a very small town, I figured our choices would be somewhat limited. And when I searched online for less-expensive options, one horrifying word kept appearing in the Travelers' Reviews: BEDBUGS. Aaahhhh! Get me to the Fairfield Inn (owned by Marriott)! I broke the news to Husband that we'd had to book the $99 hotel, but quickly added, "breakfast is included!" He fully agreed that you cannot possibly place a monetary value on the amount of sheer joy Derek experiences from the words: "Free. Hot. Breakfast." Done!

So, with all preparations in place, we hit the highway and headed for the hills. One easy hour later, we arrived at the Appalacian Trail crossing, gobbled a quick Kashi bar (I swear we're like a commercial for those things--Really, eat one and go for a hike! Take our word for it!) picked a direction, and started walking. One possible path led to a scenic overlook called Annapolis Rocks. When researching the area's trails online a few days before the trip, we thought this one looked promising. The only concern was that it covered 2.2 miles each way, and Husband and I weren't sure the boys could handle such a long hike just yet. Derek, Riley and I made the game-day decision to give it our best try, though, and determinedly plowed off into the forest. In the beginning it looked a bit iffy, as we slogged steeply uphill  for quite some time. But it was a wide, fairly smooth, totally shady trek, so we stuck with it. Just when both boys were starting to complain of fatigue and lobbying to turn back, we passed another family group returning in the opposite direction. They seemed friendly, so I inquired: "Had they been to Annapolis Rocks?" (They had.) "Was it much further?" (Only about 5 minutes!) Yes! (Memo to me: Team WestEnders needs a watch with a GPS feature, so on future woodsy outings, we'll KNOW how far we've gone--without accosting fellow Outdoorsmen! Related note: soooo glad we didn't turn back!) The rocky outcropping, where you could gaze out over the Cumberland Valley, was breathtaking (and well worth the effort). And of course the boys gained no small sense of pride and accomplishment from completing a 4.4 mile hike. Appalacian Trail in Maryland: check!

Next we continued on to Cumberland, to relax, explore, and (of course) eat dinner. I don't know how this happens (is there a Patron Saint of Tourists? Because I owe him or her an offering!) but it turned out the Fairfield Inn sits about a block from the train station, near the heart of the downtown district. Score! We wandered up and down the rolling hills of the quaint little town, admiring many old-timey brick edifices and a surprising number of churches for such a tiny burg--all of which impressed us with their soaring, majestic spires. Overall we got the impression of having landed somewhere back in the 1800s or so. Also noteworthy and very enjoyable were the numerous fountains dotting the city blocks, and tiny areas of greenery--called "parklets"--tucked into corners between buildings. What we did not find in all of our otherwise pleasant strolling: a vegetarian-friendly eatery. However, the helpful staff at our good old hotel came through, pointing us toward the Queen City Creamery (right away, anyplace that promises ice-cream in the title is a clear winner). We never would have stumbled onto it by ourselves, but what a find! Delicious sandwiches, served in an old-fashioned ice-cream-parlor-style atmosphere...and a free mini-cone with each order. Happy campers!

Now we've got SportsCenter and a good night of sleep ahead of us...so we're thoroughly refreshed at an early hour...for the Breakfast Buffet! (Oh, and of course the Railroad!)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Tale of Three (Sets of) Sauconys...

Today's mission would normally strike abject terror into the hearts of even the most red-blooded American males...Shoe Shopping (pause for the sons to sprint from the room, howling in agony at the anticipated torture). EXCEPT: they were the ones who needed new sneakers. (That's right, again. Sigh.) So we headed to the Stride Rite outlet, as we seem to do every August, to score some quality shoes (the criteria being "won't fall apart before they're outgrown") that hopefully don't cost Mom the proverbial arm and leg. Bonus: this store carries the Saucony brand of running shoes, which are not only cushy and comfortable (I've bought countless pairs since one of my Graduate School professors recommended them to me), but have proven durable enough to withstand even Derek Abuse (a phenomenon that has shredded lesser sneakers in the past). In short order, Derek, Riley and I had all chosen our own new pairs of sleek, light, athletic shoes...different colors, but all Saucony. The boys even did the standard (for our family, at least) "Race Around the Premises Dodging Toddlers and Benches to Check the Fit Test"...I'm sure the employees were thrilled to see us satisfied...and leaving. But the ultimate reward showed up at the cash register, when the total came to a whopping: $72 bucks. Whoo hoo! Shoe Coup! (Sorry, I'm still a little giddy from the excitement, can you blame me?)

How does one top a super-successful shopping spree like this one? By trying out the new apparel, of course! We all laced up our sneaks and headed for the High School track, to perform a Test Workout. My standard plan of attack--honed from many years of running experience...in conjunction with a strong desire to maintain functional knees for several more decades, if possible--is to warm up by walking a lap, then run 8 or 9 more, and finally cool down and stretch. Derek, at age 11, understands the concept, but tends to abbreviate the "Warmup Phase" and get right down to running much more quickly. However, this was the very first time Riley had joined us...and he utterly ignored all cautionary advice and shot off at a dead sprint as soon as his feet hit the track. Of course, half a lap later when I caught up to him, he was already panting. After a few more minutes he was practically in tears, claiming that he "sucked at running" and felt too exhausted to continue. Meanwhile Derek cruised around the circle, off in his own little Running Rhythm, which I noticed judiciously included periods of walking when he felt fatigued. So Riley was treated to a little impromptu lecture (complete with convenient demonstration--just look at your brother!) about figuring out your own speed; and pacing yourself for the long haul; and integrating walk/run intervals; and most significantly: enjoying yourself and not competing with anyone else! Sheesh! We're here to have FUN, for Pete's sake! (Also I thought it worthwhile to point out, as he attempted to "keep up" with Derek and me, that Riley has absolutely no control over the fact that at age 8, he's just over 4-feet tall...and has short legs...and incidentally began his running program...TODAY. Lighten up, dude!)

I think I finally got through to him, since I managed to run/walk for 27.5 minutes (10 laps) altogether, and he joined me for a large part of it. Then after a refreshing drink of water, I suddenly was possessed by the spirit of Evil Coach, and ordered the Bleacher Steps Drill (mwah hah hah). So we jogged up, across the row, and down the stadium steps a total of 10 times--you know, just to finish out our exercise session on a strong note. Finally we stretched everything out, and returned triumphantly home: sweaty, tired, and pleased with our outing. Oh, and the boys of course felt ravenous on top of that...it's a good thing I saved all that money on shoes, so I can put it right into their Post-Workout empty bellies...and I really hope I wore them out enough so that they don't ask to go running again tomorrow!

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Note from the Techo-philes

Another entry into the "Really Should Have Seen This Coming" category: my kids have morphed into full-fledged Tech Junkies...and it's all my fault. I believe I can pinpoint the exact moment the problem began, earlier this year when I upgraded my cell phone to one equipped with Android. Did I strictly NEED to do this? Well...no. But suddenly I held in my hand the freedom of unlimited texting and the power of mobile Facebooking and the convenience of on-the-go e-mailing...it was heady stuff, I tell you. Oh, and as if all that didn't provide enough fresh fun and excitement, I immediately installed Angry Birds (okay, 3 different versions, so what?) to help me fill whatever "down time" I might experience while out pursuing my busy and fulfilling life. 

Alright, alright--I might have planted the seedling of Electronics Envy...but then I watered it further when I had to replace my aging (as in "refuses to charge any more so forget listening to music") mp3 player a few months later. After diligently performing copious amounts of online research in order to make an informed, intelligent decision as to what brand and model would suit me best, I ended up with an iPod Touch. The boys seemed positively mesmerized as they watched me play with my little toy--loading my music library, creating playlists...and yes, downloading Angry Birds. Suddenly Derek, who had been insisting for a month that he didn't need any new music on his (hand-me-down) iPod Shuffle because he "just didn't listen to it anymore", started plotting to save up his allowance and buy a player just like mine. "And then," he added brightly, "I just need a few dollars more, and I can get APPS!" Oh. Dear. But this shouldn't come as any surprise whatsoever, since we're talking about the same boy who (because Mom and Dad categorically refused to purchase one for him) hoarded his money faithfully for as many months as it took to buy a Nintendo DS. Then recently he decided to trade up to the DSi, because "it's way cooler, Mom; it has a camera, and you can connect to the Internet!" (Where could he possibly get these fanciful notions? I just can't imagine!)

Meanwhile Riley has duly inherited the family Shuffle and joined the Nerd Patrol with a vengeance. The first thing he requested was that I remove all of the Jonas Brothers songs and stock the device with his absolute favorite band in the entire world: the Black Eyed Peas. Yes, my almost-8-year old has apparently outgrown boy-band pop and instead prefers to get funky with the likes of  Will.I.Am and Taboo...oh, and he also harbors a celebrity crush on the lovely Fergie. Sigh. Picture him strutting around the house with his headphones on, belting out "I Gotta Feeling" (ooh, ooh) while Derek collapses to the floor and rolls around in uncontrollable hysterics. Yeah, we simply call this the Pre-Dinner Entertainment around here these days. (In order to drown out the Peas concert, Derek asks to borrow my iPod...and proceeds to mock the Glee selections while searching for some more male-tween-friendly choices...like Usher and Iyaz, evidently. My little Urban Hipster...)

Obviously, then, we can place the blame for the severe (probably incurable) case of Tech Lust squarely on my shoulders. I hereby accept full responsibility for creating the little Gadget Monsters.  From now on, I promise to try to demonstrate a more mature, thoughtful attitude toward acquiring and using technological advances in our home. And I’ll definitely get right on that resolution…very, very soon…but first I must address an issue that has recently come to my attention: I just might need a Kindle (Wait! Let me explain! It’s small, and light, and not terribly expensive, and fits in my work bag better than a book! Uh-oh…I’m going to need an Intervention, aren’t I?)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Week at Camp Run-Amok

Every year, my Mom Friends lament the rapid passing of Summer. "It just flies by," they moan as first July, then August disappear in a cloud of sunscreen and a puddle of melted ice-cream. In the past, I just nodded my head sympathetically and made vague statements of agreement, but really I was thinking "are you kidding me? Between the boredom and the bickering (and these apply to all of us, not just the boys) I'm ready to send them back to school by August 1st!" I was stymied as to why--for us--Summer seemed to drag its heels rather than hurtle along. However, this School Hiatus has been radically different, and I think I just might have figured it out: perhaps I wasn't keeping us quite busy enough to help pass the long, unplanned hours of Summer Break. Luckily I figured it out in time to schedule a boatload of activities this year, with the goal of minimizing downtime and maximizing funtime. (And the added side-effect of running us around like crazy, but whatever!) Well, it must have worked, because (holy guacamole) it's the middle of August and we can't quite figure out how the heck that happened!

So here it is, the second of two Camp Weeks I arranged for Derek and Riley, to avoid having too many days on end of them being stuck in the house with each other...because that's when things tend toward fighting (them) and yelling (me). After I drop them off for their Sports Camp, they frolic and play for 5 hours and I gain a precious block of kid-free time. Since it's the last opportunity for me--before the next academic and work year begins for all of us--to accomplish tasks without the distraction and interference of tag-along "helpers", I decided the Theme of the Week would be: Putting Things in Order. And what sort of items did I include in the agenda of "stuff that needed to be organized and/or fixed"? Here's a sampling:

--Body parts: I hadn't been to the chiropractor in over a month, and I desperately needed some manipulation to put my neck area back into proper alignment (too bad he doesn't do attitude adjustments as well, or I might bring all 3 of us sometimes!) Aahhhhh...and on a less-therapeutic but equally-important note, it was high time for another one of those delightful leg waxing/enzyme treatment appointments, so I squeezed that into this week as well.

--My car: after 8 days hauling 4 people (plus snacks and gear) through 7 states, the Forester strongly needed...decluttering and freshening. After the full-service carwash, not only have all the crumbs and clods of dirt vanished (like magic...or the work of very talented Detailing Elves), but it now smells fresh and lovely (at least until I pick up 3 sweaty tweens from camp...do you think I can get away with squirting Febreeze directly onto them before allowing them into the vehicle? Hmmm...)

--The Storage Room: we're overdue for a visit to the Consignment Shop/Thrift Store to pass along things that can potentially be re-used by others. (Besides, it usually nets me a little bit of pocket change, just in case I want to have a nice lunch by myself--shhh!)

--The Fridge: because although I put it off for as long as I could (since we've been back from our trip for, oh, 2 weeks now) we need a serious stock-up on food and supplies. As you can imagine, obtaining groceries with the assistance of two Junior Operatives from the Stealth Shopping Team can be...challenging in the best of circumstances. When I'm diligently trying to follow my list and Special Agent Riley is stalking Criminal Mastermind Derek with the scan gun...well, you can understand the problem, right? So I seized the chance to hit both Costco and Giant S-O-L-O and actually came away with (pause) a week's worth of food! From my actual list (gasp)! So that's how it's supposed to go, who knew?

--Fall Scheduling Items: without the usual commotion swirling around me, I was able to make efficient phone calls (and even sound like a civilized, well-mannered adult while doing so) to figure out absolutely critical information, such as the date and time Hip Hop Class will resume. While the darlings were otherwise occupied at Camp, I also managed to enjoy an unhurried, productive meeting with the new Principal at Riley's school, to bring her up to speed on procedures and timelines involved with publishing the Student Newspaper.

In order to achieve all of this (not to mention the routine jobs--like laundry and workouts--that still needed to be crammed in somewhere), I zipped around like a lunatic from one place to the next on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The sweet payoff happened on Thursday, when I was able to steal a couple of hours to sneak off to the movie theater by myself to see an Adult Film...no, wait, that sounds totally wrong...I just mean a Non-Kid-Friendly-Flick! And I got my own popcorn and soda. (Memo to Self: when you don't have to share, a Small popcorn will probably do. The Medium could have fed my entire family, and seemed to contain approximately the amount of sodium I should consume in, say, a WEEK. That brings me to the Large soda...which served to wash down the popcorn, but resulted in a bathroom break...but do you know they'll refill that sucker for you while you're out there? Did I mention I poured down enough caffeine for, say, a MONTH?) Anyway, I felt completely decadent catching a show in the middle of the day--and man, was it worth it! Tomorrow is the last day for the boys to go do their own thing...I ought to start pondering what else I can get into while they're gone!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Another Day, Another Battlefield...

In a continuing effort to forcibly expose the children to as much culture and history as possible...wait, I mean "provide them with every opportunity to gain knowledge and insight into our great country and its complex, multi-layered, fascinating past"...today we took a Friday Field Trip to Antietam National Battlefield Park in Western Maryland. Of course before setting off on the excursion (being the uber-geek that I am) I searched online to refresh my memory regarding the particulars of the conflict. What I re-learned: it was the single bloodiest one-day battle in American history; 23,000 (yes, thousand) soldiers died in a 24-hour period; (on a more human-interest note) according to one source, the reason some Civil War engagements are recorded with two different names is because the Southerners, typically arising from a "rural, country" background, were impressed by the nearby city, and called the battle after it; while the more urbanized Northerners tended to focus more on the natural landscape, thus choosing the moniker of a creek to mark the skirmish. (Hence: Confederate name: Sharpsburg--Union name: Antietam.)

Armed (ha ha) with our pre-trip research, we sought out the road that would lead us back in time to September 17, 1862 (in this case, that happened to be I-70 West, the ultra-modern highway skirting Frederick). After an easy, pleasant drive through green, rolling hills, we arrived at Antietam. It was a partly-cloudy, cool-ish day (high temp in the low-80s...almost felt COLD after what we've suffered lately), perfect for hiking around a National  Park. We oriented ourselves in the Visitor's Center, picking up crucial (although only semi-helpful as it turned out, more on that later) maps and descriptive brochures, then we meandered off. Well...briefly. We initially scoped out all the monuments surrounding the Visitor's Center itself, then intended to do a 1.5 mile hike along "Bloody Lane". (Charming title, yes?) It began promisingly, with a couple of interesting memorials and--better yet--a Park Ranger fully-outfitted as a mounted Union officer with whom we could stop and chat...okay, to be completely honest, we really wanted to pet the horse! But then we attempted to locate the beginning of the trail...and although I comprehended the written directions, and had placed us accurately on the map I held in my hand, darned if I could spot the path anywhere. Feeling a bit foolish, I enlisted a Park Ranger for guidance (demonstrating for my sons that, when confused, it's perfectly acceptable to ask for directions immediately rather than waste precious time fumbling about randomly). She smiled knowingly and, instead of explaining what to do, led us personally to the Observation Deck to point out the way...which in fact is NOT marked at all, but a beeline through a field. (Okay, I don't feel quite so incompetent, now.)

Thus followed an enjoyable couple of hours tromping through expanses of grass, stopping to scan plaques or admire statues or (in one instance) climb a tower to survey the surrounding countryside. The Bloody Lane itself left the strongest impression...a sunken farm path with steep embankments on either side, from which intense and deadly fighting occurred for 3-1/2 hours during the day of combat. Surrounded by an atmosphere of almost-eerie stillness, I found myself glancing up uneasily as I trod along the same dusty steps that soldiers had used in the War Between the States. Pretty powerful stuff. Then we took a brief rest under a tree to eat our "rations" (juice boxes, cheese sticks, and fresh berries--much better fare than either Army received in the 1860s, I know), and rallied ourselves for the Auto Tour portion of our day. (Also not in keeping with the original footsore and deprived Civil War enlistees, but hey, we do what we can in the 21st century...) And here we encountered our only failure of the entire experience: we utterly failed to find Burnside Bridge, one of the important landmarks that we wanted to see. We still don't know what went wrong--we used the map and tried several different routes, but that darn bridge eluded us. (At one point we stumbled upon a signpost that pointed us "1425 yards" in a certain direction...across a fully-planted cornfield. What the?) Finally, we were forced to abandon the quest when my gas light came on and I refused to be stranded with an empty tank (AAA or no AAA) in the middle of East Nowhere. We settled for stopping by the Antietam National Cemetery, which brought the visit to an appropriately solemn and spiritual close.

All-in-all, a productive way to spend a Friday in the Summer--we logged some quality Mom/Son time; we got a great deal of exercise; and we picked up lots of facts about our nation's history. Not bad for a day's work...so I think tomorrow we'll practice our Constitutional right to sit around eating junk food and watching mindless television!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Modern Pop Culture 101

One of the amusing and rewarding things about my kids getting older is that Husband and I can start to introduce them to things that we love, be it music, or movies, or books. This has some obvious benefits--goodbye and good riddance, Raffi; hello Jimmy Buffett and Bon Jovi and B.O.B. And it has also been thoroughly enjoyable to sit down and watch beloved films like The Princess Bride and The Rookie and even Star Wars (I refer to the classic 70s trio, of course) with the boys. Derek has recently developed a liking for reading the comics, which surprising requires a higher degree of intellectual development than you'd think, in order to fully understand some of the multi-level puns and double-meanings. He relates to family funnies like Baby Blues (because he recognizes the sibling harassment, no doubt) and especially strips with Middle or High School kids (Derek cracks up when Big Nate exasperates his father and teachers, but the lightsaber battles and D&D-type obsessions of the Foxtrot gang cause him to laugh out loud and snarf his breakfast on a regular basis on Sunday mornings...it's hilarious, but you do NOT want to be sitting across from him, innocently trying to drink your coffee). But just recently, realizing that Derek's humor and comprehension has reached a sophisticated-enough realm to handle it, we presented him with the most treasured of collections: Calvin and Hobbes. Oh, the giggling that has ensued...I can be anywhere in the house--brushing my teeth, folding laundry, whatever--and a grinning Derek will purposely seek me out, in order to read a page aloud to me. I'm so glad that he derives such pleasure from it, but I'd really like to go to the bathroom in peace!

Then there have been some unexpected consequences to the crash course in Intro to Modern Media. For instance, one night Alice in Wonderland was showing on cable (you know, the creepy, disturbing movie with Johnny Depp). I personally cannot even watch five minutes of it without imagining the nightmares I'll be experiencing later that night, but the 3 males sat for a while...perhaps in morbid fascination. Even more unsettling was what occurred the next day, when Derek could be observed streaking about the house, shirtless, pants around his ankles, shrieking, "Help, he's going to stab my Jabber-winky!" (Not that it answers ANY of the myriad questions arising from this...display...but a wooden-stick-wielding Riley was hotly in pursuit. Due to the shocking visual with which I was confronted, the reasons--if any-- for this pandemonium remained unclear). Now that's what I call "artistic exposure" taken waaayy too far! (Sorry! The event clearly scarred me!)

And finally, we arrive at...Middle Earth. That's right, moving up from The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter, Derek was deemed ready to tackle Tolkien for his Summer Reading Assignment before 6th grade. Into the fantasy world of Aragorn and Gandalf and Elves and Dwarves and Hobbits he courageously leaped. (And although it took him the better part of two months to plow through the complex tale, he did finish it!) Husband even treated both boys to a cinematic screening of The Fellowship of the Ring, which they just adored. (Incidentally, now they know why we began calling them Hobbits a few years ago, when they adopted the practice of eating breakfast...2nd breakfast...elevenses...lunch..."tea" (snack)...and dinner like the fictional creatures do!) Although I wondered if they would be able to handle some of the intense beasts and violent conflict in the movie, they seemed to take it in stride. In fact, the aftermath has been quite benign, mostly consisting of them imitating the frivolous Merry and Pippin (Frodo's sidekicks), complete with goofy sayings and semi-authentic British accents. Oh, and one more thing: in the story, the band of adventurers must pass through the long-abandoned, yet still-perilous Mines of Moria. In the movie, it's a dark and forbidding place, and the scenes themselves are filled with tension and suspense. The characters speak in hushed, fearful tones of what they will find past the "Gateway to Moria", within the "walls of Moria", etc. So what do my delightful sons take away from this? They viewed the movie right before we went on our Road Trip, so while traveling we heard things like, (as we approached the door to our hotel room) "Oh look, it's the Door of Moria!" Or, in Niagara, as we wound our way along a path to look at the falls from another angle, "Ooh, careful, it's the Road to Moria!"  The silliness continued to escalate throughout the week, until it peaked the day we hiked in the State Park in Massachusetts. There we were, quietly walking through the woods soaking in Nature, when one of them dramatically burst out with, "Oh no, it's the Squirrel of Moria!" Oh. Good. Grief. Is this why books get banned? For inspiring unadultered nonsense? (My apologies, J.R.R. Tolkien!)

Anyway, most of the time, it's been a win-win proposition: we adults get to be nostalgic and revisit some of our old favorites, and our sons get to appreciate some memorable artistic creations from "Before Their Time".  Now if we could only squelch the nudity and the bad jokes before some kind of Juvenile Arts Commission comes after us with a citation, we'll be all right! Sigh. On second thought, maybe it'd be smarter to just start saving up for the inevitable fines...