Definitely using their powers for good (this time, at least)

So hey, here's a topic unrelated to the current messed-up COVID situation, for once--something that provided me abundant entertainment over the past week, which I thought I'd share for your amusement as well. Background: obviously Derek has been cut loose from college for the duration of the global health crisis, so he's at home with fewer academic demands and thus more empty free time. Add to that the absence of all sports and, well, you have a situation ripe for boredom...or ingenuity.

So, he and a buddy (we'll just call him G) got the idea to collaborate on a Spotify playlist that they could then offer up to the rest of their friend group. The theme...Disney songs. And then, as D and G discussed the relative merits and/or drawbacks of each possibility, it dawned on them that this could grow into something even bigger...leading them to create their own substitute for the NCAA basketball tournament that won't be taking place this year.

They called it March Magic, and replaced the hoops teams with those Disney ditties I mentioned. The way I understand the steps: first they debated which tunes to include in the field of 64. Then they separated them into 4 "quads" of 16 songs, which they sorted from top to bottom. Next they divided them into the geographic regions...and let a computer finish assigning the final rankings, to introduce an element of randomization to the proceedings. Finally, they calculated the odds for each matchup...like they were some kind of big-time Vegas betting operation, or something. (Because their cute little project had blown up by this point, with people taking it much more seriously than its humble beginnings would seem to warrant--and the boys had gleefully picked up the ball...and were running with it...)

By now I'd been oriented to what was happening, because Derek couldn't contain his enthusiasm for what they were crafting, and wanted to share it with someone who'd appreciate the effort. And I've gotta say...I was somewhat in awe of the whole thing. From the original concept, to the amount of work involved, the level of detail and commitment, the complicated and multi-layered analysis required...heck, even the MATH was impressive! (That Statistics class paying dividends, baby! You love to see it...)

After all the hours of prep and "Committee Meetings" (I'm not even kidding, that's what they called it when D and G video chatted with each other. It was freakin' adorable...)...they went live with the voting, on Instagram. And you know what? When I saw the final version, I found myself with some VERY strong opinions. (Which surprises absolutely no one...including me...) For example, I had...thoughts...about some of the selections...seedings...and head-to-head battles that were set up between a mixture of very iconic...somewhat worthy...or downright forgettable musical numbers. In short, I knew I had to get in on this thing.

So I requested to follow G, and began the routine of checking every day for the results, and the opportunity to choose the next round's winners. It didn't take long at all for me to realize that in many cases I...profoundly disagreed with the rest of the participants. (I MAY have been heard yelling "I. Am. INCENSED!" at one...or more...junctures during the contests. And I make no apologies for that...) Fortunately, I live with 1/2 of the Committee, so I was able to express my displeasure (to his grinning face, as he reveled in the controversy he'd helped cause. Brat.) on a daily basis. A sample of my...concerns...includes:

--How could people NOT  vote for Frozen I and II? These are arguably among the best songs ever written for Disney, so what, exactly, is wrong with this demographic, that they don't understand, or don't accept, this point of view, which is clearly the only correct one (and also incidentally, "mine")?
--Life is a Highway? Reeeeallly? It's Rascal Flatts covering Tom Cochrane, for crying out loud, not a Disney masterpiece in any way, shape, or form!.
--Of all the stellar options from Lion King...Hakuna Matata? Sure, it's funny, and catchy, and cute. But it is by no means the best composition on that soundtrack, so WHY ARE YOU ALL PICKING IT TO WIN?
--And while we're at it, what the WHAT with Mulan? I mean, it's a perfectly fine film and all, but the music? Totally unmemorable, as far as I'm concerned. As I explained it to D, if I see the title on the page, and I can't immediately hear it playing in my head (with me singing along, obvs), I just can't bring myself to move it along in the tournament. While Hercules, on the other hand, boasts a soundtrack stacked with quality offerings, many of which didn't make the cut, and none of the ones that did performed particularly well.
--Oh, and that reminds me of another possibly unpopular notion about which I refuse to be swayed: Tangled is one of the most underrated Disney flicks of all time. It could have had several other representatives in the competition, rather than the token one that made it--which again, isn't even the top choice from the movie.

Aaaannnyway, despite my...disgruntlement with people's poor decisions...it was fascinating to be an insider in this whole endeavor. For starters, I was privy to the breaking news in terms of voting trends, upset alerts, unexpected outcomes, and early reporting of results. But I also had unparalleled access to my own analyst, with whom, it turned out, I could engage in deeply philosophical discussions about topics like how a song was "thematically important" and therefore of higher value than one that "didn't contribute to character development". (Not exaggerating. It got intense up in here, guys...) At one point I even remember exclaiming something along the lines of, "Sure, When I'm Older is an awesome Olaf scene, but Show Yourself is Elsa trying to figure out who she's supposed to be...it's the emotional center of the film!" (And then we paused...and howled, because we're passionately pouring ourselves into...critiquing cartoons, y'all. Eh, this probably counts for Remote Learning in some manner of speaking, right? Yeah, let's go with that...)

When the dust settled, the overall #1 seed, as identified by D and G waaay back in the beginning, did end up being crowned champion. I, of course, took exception to...pretty much the entire sequence of how this all played out, so in a moment of inspiration, Derek suggested I fill out my own bracket, choosing exactly the way I wanted, to see what would happen. And I'm not gonna lie, there were some tough picks to be made along the way, and some heartbreaking losses (metaphorically of course, because...mermaids and magical princesses and demigods and talking animals and whatnot). But in the end, I have to admit it was extremely satisfying to be the sole judge, in charge of every conquest or defeat, and to raise my own victor to the podium. In completely predictable fashion--unlike what actually transpired when the "public" was invited to join--the prize went to a gorgeous, stirring, anthemic, critically meaningful little number from...Frozen II.

This whole shebang provided so much enjoyment that the lads decided to wrap it up with a podcast, in which they recorded themselves chatting about various aspects of the enterprise (because of COURSE they did. Oh, and did I forget to mention...I appeared as a Special Guest Analyst to rant about stuff--I mean "share my insights". Apparently we all take our shenanigans very much to heart around here...). In fact, it went so well that there's already talk about doing another one, with a different theme. Hey, in these nutty times, if this is what they're doing to...supplement their education...who am I to argue? Perhaps with my proximity to one of the Heads of Operations, I can score myself a spot on the planning board for next time...mwah hah hah!

Week 2: wait, we have to keep doing this?

As the coronavirus scenario continues to unfold with updated information every day (much of it terrifying and panic-inducing), Team WestEnders had been striving to establish and maintain a healthy routine, whilst simultaneously doing our best to comply with the ever-expanding stay-at-home decrees.

For Husband...well, nothing much has changed, frankly. Each morning he still logs into his company computer, conducts meetings with his distantly-located colleagues, and appears to be engaging in business as usual amidst the global chaos. The only thing that really differs from his typical work-from-home experience is that whenever he steps away from his desk...there are people around him to commune with...sort of like his own personal catch-up-at-the-water cooler situation, which he hasn't had since we moved to NC and he stopped driving to an office 5 days a week. 

Then there's Derek, for whom this was the first week of the new "online learning" model he's going to be using for the remainder of the semester. Although details were sketchy at first, it turns out that this will involve a variety of different techniques, depending on the class. For example, he'll complete modules for Stats and Speech, at his own pace and on his own time, as long as he makes sure to submit the assignments by the deadlines the professors set. In contrast, his Chem and History instructors are incorporating an interactive component, for which he'll have to actually join a discussion or lecture at an appointed time, and participate like he would if he were on campus. Not surprisingly, given his personality, he seems to be just...rolling with it. Of course, a plethora of questions still remain, such as how they're going to handle grading...finals...advising and registering for next year's courses...completion of his last Capstone Scholarship requirements...but presumably these wrinkles will be ironed out in the weeks to come...fingers crossed...

Meanwhile Riley's STILL on his Bonus Spring Break and won't officially have to get back into the swing of things...such as it is...until next Monday. As he understands it, at that point he'll have a similar setup to his brother's, with tasks he'll have to access through the school system's portal, tackle whenever he wants, and "turn in" for his teachers to evaluate. Oh, and before this is even off the ground, the governor weighed in this week and informed us that he's taking the initiative to keep K-12 schools shut down until at least May 15th. So let's hope this whole "virtual education whosawhatchit runs smoothly, yeah. Ay yi yi...

Speaking of executive decisions and whatnot, Orange county (where we live) just today followed others in our area (Wake, Durham, etc.) and issued a Stay at Home order. Honestly, though, the towns of Chapel Hill and Carrboro--as well as local entities acting on their own-- had already taken measures to limit in-person shopping and congregating. Many "non-essential" establishments had gone ahead and voluntarily closed, while stores that were able had moved to a curbside pickup arrangement, and restaurants had begun offering only takeout and delivery options. So I don't think this will affect much that hasn't previously been put in place to try to keep people safe. (Except of course that no one's getting a haircut anytime soon--yikes!)

Finally, yours truly spent my job-hours at in the house this week for the first time as well, which was...kind of weird. I did have a couple of video chats with coworkers, to touch base on how everyone was faring, what needed to get done...and creative ideas for maintaining this scenario for the foreseeable future. It was in my leisure time, however, that I began to feel a rising sense of...restlessness...and the desire to, I don't know...DO something tangible to prevent myself from wasting too much time, maybe? So I brainstormed...with myself...to figure out just one thing--even the smallest accomplishment--every day that I could document, as kind of a pandemic diary, or whatever. 

--So, first, I dug out a coloring book given to me by a former work buddy. And you know what? It was super-soothing to consider and select hues, and to fill in the lines. When I'd finished, I was startled by how long it had actually taken...but during that time, I felt both serene and entertained, so I'd call it a success.

--Next I realized there was a serious danger that I might miss out on my favorite flower this year: tulips. You see, I never miss the chance to make a pilgrimage to Duke Gardens and get my fill, but of course it's closed for who knows how long. So in an extremely uncharacteristic move, I went to a nearby nursery and purchased bulbs to plant in front of the house. Now we'll have to see whether they can overcome both my notoriously black thumb (I  mean, I have literally NO IDEA if I even stuck them in the ground correctly, people) and the voracious packs of deer to bloom for me. Let's face it, the odds are definitely NOT "ever in my favor" for this, but we'll try to stay positive for the wee buds, 'kay?

--Then it was time for a puzzle, because...hey, why not? We have a couple lying around, so I picked one of the smaller ones as a warmup, and got into it. After several hours of alternating euphoric trash-talking ("Aha! I found you! I win, you stupid piece!) and whining despair ("Whhhhhy do all the $#@%& lion parts look exactly the same? Aaarrrghhh!") I remembered that....I'm not actually as skilled at assembling puzzles as I always somehow think I should be. Huh...valuable lesson (again). And yet, my innate, irrepressible stubbornness refuses to allow me to rage-quit, so I did persevere and finish the dang thing...which yeah, turned out to be rewarding, so there's that. Might not do another one for a while, though...

--Last but not least, since Spring has deigned to grace us with her presence, if all else fails I try to escape the house and get into nature for some much needed fresh air, movement, and appreciation of the Great Outdoors. Staying 6-feet away from all the humans, obviously...but not the trees! The warmer weather and burgeoning greenery absolutely help with my mood, and allow me to return home and treat my fellow self-isolating family members with renewed patience and good humor (Eh, mostly. This IS me we're talking about...let's just agree that we're all doing our best...) 

And there you have it: the weekly report from our little corner of Quarantine Land. I'll sign off by sending umbrella wishes out into the universe, for everyone to stay safe and well, so we can get through this and come out the other side. For now, peace out, peeps!

Week 1 of..."the new normal"?

For Team WestEnders--as I think is true for many, if not the majority of us weathering this damn global pandemic of 2020--the past 7 days brought a series of seismic shifts in the landscape of our lives, ranging from the fairly catastrophic, to the mildly notable aftershock variety.

I for one began my week by showing up in person at my office, since the unspoken agreement at the time was to keep coming in until given explicit permission to transition to the "working remotely" model. (Although there had been LOTS of updates about what was happening with students--for faculty and staff? Crickets...).

By Monday afternoon, however, my supervisor and I sat down for a conversation about that very thing, since the Powers That Be had finally succumbed to the inevitable, jumped on the bandwagon, and decided we should follow the current "social distancing" recommendations and avoid other humans as much as possible for the time being. So we drafted a plan by which I'll log in during my normal hours and be available via cell phone/Skype/email/etc. for 3 of my usual blocks, and spend one day physically on-site to catch up with whoever needs to touch base face-to-face.

I don't have to tell you that this was a HUGE relief, not only from the standpoint of doing my part to help slow the spread of the %#$@ virus...but also because of the tacit understanding that I 100% intend to take full advantage of being freed from the burdens of makeup...and confining professional clothing...until further notice. (To clarify: this does NOT mean I'll be performing my duties naked! Pajamas and/or workout gear will be the apparel of choice. It probably goes without saying...but I just wanted to short-circuit anyone's brain from going down that path!) Sure enough, the first day of the new regime I participated in a Zoom meeting in which most of us appeared a lot more...let's say casually put-together....than usual--but it was utterly delightful to see everyone's smiling faces, hear their voices...and enjoy whatever form of modified interaction is deemed safe and appropriate for the moment.

This is not to imply that there weren't tiny hiccups in the process, of course. Such as the fact that my "workspace" (as shown) lies in the spare bedroom, which is connected to our bonus room over the garage...aka the"Team WestEnders Gym"...where one individual ("Riley") incorporates the punching bag into his daily fitness activities. What, doesn't everyone have to be very careful to remain muted, due to the sounds of a simulated boxing match happening in the background? Fortunately my colleagues--some of whom were busy feeding/distracting/shushing/shooing away small children of their own during our chat--didn't even raise an eyebrow or comment...even when the sweaty teenager sheepishly snuck behind me to get to the shower after finishing his set. I mean, we're all doing our best to adapt during these wacky times, right folks?

As for the other denizens of our household, the boys' schedules have obviously undergone a cataclysmic transformation this month as the COVID story has unfolded. Riley is now halfway through his early-and-also-extended Spring Break, so he hasn't had to meet any school demands yet...although  he tells me his APUSH teacher has been communicating with the class through some kind of video format every day, presumably to try to keep up with the content they're supposed to be covering during a normal academic period. And since he recently started his own job at a supermarket...and now finds himself with unexpected, extensive free time...he offered to pick up extra shifts to accommodate the general populace, who continue to freak the heck out over stockpiling enough groceries for the apocalypse. This made his employer super-happy--so they get willing labor, and Riley brings in more moolah...it's a weird win/win, but we can roll with it.


Meanwhile, Derek's status with UofSC went through several progressive steps as they tried to figure out the endgame...but finally seems to have solidified. You see, at first they announced they would be conducting classes online on a very temporary basis while they waited for all this to hopefully blow over soon. (Um...yeah, about that...) At that point, Derek was pushing to travel back to Columbia, arguing that he could go about his business by logging into his courses from his apartment or the student library facilities.

But then, the university moved to closing the campus for several weeks, which was absolutely the right thing to do, but also (on a selfish note) reinforced my claim that it would be better for him to stay here rather than try and  navigate the crisis on his own 300 miles away. Given the new information, he grudgingly agreed that--without the rec center or places to study, and with limited dining options--there was "no reason for me to be there". (Yessss!)

This of course meant that he still had to make at least a brief jaunt back down, to pick up the textbooks and materials he'd need to complete his distance-learning assignments. So he lobbied for a compromise: drive down, get his supplies, and spend a little bit of time with his (small group of ) other Carolina buddies, since he wouldn't be seeing them for a while after that. (I know, I know, this isn't strictly playing by the rules, but we reiterated all of the anti-viral, pro-mega-hygiene precautions and procedures...and it felt like a relatively minor concession to make the best of a sucky situation.)

Aaaand, wouldn't you know...seemingly right on the heels of THAT dust settling, they turned around and--following the lead of so many colleges around the country--shut it down for the remainder of the Spring semester. So his excursion expanded from "grab my school stuff and hang out with the guys for a while" into "and also vacate my off-campus apartment and return home 2 months ahead of schedule". (Siiighhhh....don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have him back...but also soooo disappointed for him--and all the other kids whose lives are being disrupted right now, in myriad ways...)

Even with the prevailing atmosphere of "stay home" and "everything's canceled", people are trying to maintain some semblance of routine. Such as the weekly running group I attend on a regular basis, who suspended the "exercising together" portion of the program, but encouraged everyone to go for their own solo jog and post photos on social media so we could give each other a virtual shoutout. Or when Derek and I mutually agreed it was high time to re-watch Frozen 2--since Disney had so graciously gone ahead and released it for streaming--so we could cheer ourselves up with some high-quality singing princess content to combat these dark and scary times.

And finally, I'm thrilled to report that one issue which had me extremely tense and upset for the past week or so has been resolved in a satisfactory fashion. I'm referring of course to the Great Toilet Paper Hoarding scandal. Lest you believe I'm exaggerating (perish the thought) I swear I was checking multiple types of stores every day, besides scouring the interwebs, and coming up with nada.

It got to the point that I would feel my stress levels rising as I simply walked into the front door of an establishment, before the bare shelves brought me to a screeching halt yet again, and I was forced to shuffle away in defeat. But at long last, once some of the furor had died down, I concocted what I prayed was a foolproof scheme: I'd roll out of bed one morning, throw on some sweats, and rush straight to Target. The desperate wish was that they would have restocked overnight, and that I'd beat the bathroom-tissue-starved crowds by showing up so early.

And whattya know...SUCCESS. I was able to lay hands on not only the aforementioned mega-important personal care item, but also paper towels and hand soap, which I'd previously struck out on as well. Plus, they have a Starbucks, so I was able to reward myself with a delicious iced beverage in celebration of my hard-earned victory...and all before 9 a.m. And if my...household goods triumph....isn't a fitting metaphor for the bizarre state of our planet at the moment, well, I don't know what is. On that note, be safe and well, mis amigos. Let's keep watching out for each other...and facing this whole ball of nonsense one conference call/online meetup/cup of coffee/day at a time...

The Corona-siege continues...

Folks, while I so very much wish I had anything else to write about, unfortunately--and I cannot stress this enough--there's only one game in town right now. And since this is meant to be a snapshot of  (cue upbeat, catchy tune) "What's Happening with Team WestEnders!" I feel obligated to attempt to capture current events--and mood--for posterity...or whatever. So, now that everyone's new nemesis, Covid, has officially shoved its unwelcome, obnoxious presence into our lives, here's an update on how that's going: (Spoiler alert for those who might be nervous: overall we're hanging in there, despite some minor inconveniences and mild disgruntlement...so now we can all relax--and I can beg your patience--while I vent a little...)

Last Friday, before the you-know-what really hit the fan around here, Derek and I went ahead with our planned activities, which included a brief stop at Kohl's to replace his one-and-only polo shirt, a much more involved expedition to Target for household edibles and supplies, and as a reward for our labors, a pleasant interlude of cinema escapism...just for the fun of it. The clothes shopping went fabulously smoothly--perhaps aided in part by the fact that there were far fewer customers than one might expect on an average day, for obvious reasons. Next up was our delightful Date with Disney, in which we were very much enchanted by the magic of Onward (again, in the non-proximal company of only a few other patrons).

But the T-store, y'all...that one damn near killed me. First there were the swarms of stressed-out humans, all vying for the limited supplies available. That leads us to--and full disclosure right here, this is something that is making my blood pressure rise on a daily basis at this point--the echoes of profoundly empty shelves. Seriously, good luck finding items like beans, soup, peanut butter, oatmeal...I could go on and on, but you catch my drift. Okay, FINE, we don't actually NEED these things immediately or desperately...although they'd be nice to have in the pantry during this type of, you know, "national emergency" and whatnot.

But WHAT. THE. HELL. with the toilet paper? I mean, we're not out yet, thank the Saint of Paper Products, whoever that may be...but eventually we're going to have to restock, and you can't find the stuff either in person or even online. I'm finding this makes me both furious and anxious, which is a lovely combination, so...yeah, that's pretty much the biggest problem for us right now. And I know--I'm not at all discounting or minimalizing the very real blessing that we're all healthy, and together, at the moment. This situation is just pushing my buttons, probably because I'm a bit (!) of a control freak by nature, and it pains me that I can't "fix" this issue. (But let's not go down THAT particular rabbit hole today, whattya say?)

Whew! On a happier note, once we received the notice that the local library had decided to shut down for the foreseeable future, I managed to slip in and pick up a book I'd had on hold that had just become available--and also curate a stack of...pandemic reading...while I was there. On the way home, I stopped by CVS to purchase over-the-counter remedies that were mentioned as handy to have around, in a common-sense article written by a nurse, that I'd come across on social media. To my great astonishment, I was actually able to obtain these...in appropriate, non-panic quantities for my immediate family, should any of us come down with the virus. However...hand soap...cleaning wipes? Big fat NOPE. How about that "keeping things sanitary" edict, right? Siiiighhhhh....

Meanwhile, in the interest of #SocialDistancing and #FlattenTheCurve (just two of the newly coined terms with which we've all become all too familiar....and also are already beginning to hate, to be honest) bootcamp group is canceled for a while. On the other hand, to #NotLoseOurEverlovingMinds, #GetSomeExercise, and #EnjoyTheFreshAir, a couple of us met up for a walk...on a wide trail, maintaining space between us, not touching, etc. We followed this up with coffee (of course)--which we imbibed outside, after scrubbing and sanitizing our hands.  Oy...brave new world is pretty much...a pain in the patootie, isn't it, friends? (Although necessary, blah, blah blah, I get it, and I'm following the program as much as possible...)

Later that evening, the Male Trio and I had to scramble to formulate a Plan B for our originally scheduled programming. You see, when Derek initially found out he'd be home an extra week (ah, the simpler, more innocent Good Old Days) his very first thought was, "Last year I was away at school, and NO ONE filled out a[n NCAA Tourney] bracket. Well, there are no excuses this year, so everyone's doing it!" We figured that since he'd be here for Selection Sunday, we'd get takeout for dinner, watch the broadcast live on ESPN, and make our choices for the field of 64. Ahem...and then collegiate athletics were basically disbanded until the Fall, soooo.....it quickly morphed into "order food and watch a movie instead". Eh, it's still a family bonding opportunity, even without the sports, so I'm gonna call that at least a (purposefully lower-case) win, in these troubled times. We'll take what we can get!

And that carries us up through the weekend, which seems like as good a stopping point as any, so I'm gonna blow the whistle, call time out, stop the clock, and pick back up later. Now let's all get out there and...practice your best separated-by-6-feet sportsmanship! Avoid committing any personal fouls! Let's work together to crush the 2020 National Championship of Hand Washing, and thereby defeat our collective opponent, International Coronavirus! (See, we CAN live without grown men running around in uniforms chasing each other...even if it's making us just a wee bit wackier than usual...or that might just be MEEEEE...catch up with you guys soon!)

2020: you just can't make this stuff up...

Okay…raise your hand if it’s been a WEEK, y’all. I mean…I can’t even…with this damn virus and…all the other, assorted whatnot. So in an effort to preserve (what’s left of) my sanity, I thought I’d cobble together an mid-March update, only SOME of which has to do with the Rampaging Germs of Doom.

Let’s begin with exercise, shall we? Following what has become my own little tradition, last weekend I ran my first 5K of 2020 after the self-imposed “off-season” of January/February. This is always a bit of a gamble, given March’s typically fickle weather ways…and this year was no exception. Lemme tell ya, it was one chilly, WINDY endeavor—which didn’t make for particularly pleasant workout conditions…but perhaps not coincidentally did result in me logging unprecedented 9-minute miles (to get it the heck over with? Yeah, probably…) And then, just to demonstrate what a difference a couple of days makes in this topsy-turvy month, the Wednesday pub runners’ group got out and enjoyed the hard-earned extra daylight on a pristine 70* evening. Go figure.

Next, in Riley news, after sooooo much searching, interviewing, near-missing, and frustration, he finally was able to secure a job that actually STUCK this time—without being ghosted by employers, or being offered positions that, after further reflection, he decided didn’t really seem like a good fit for him. I feel like it’s safe to talk about now, since he’s gone through the training, completed several shifts…and received a paycheck! Holy guacamole—driving…working…What. Is. Happening to my BABY? (Deep breaths…it’s fine, it’s all fine…)

Then there’s Derek, who came home for his Spring Break as planned…with none of us honestly thinking ahead as to how the global…maelstrom of chaos…might affect his semester. For example, he brought only the books he needed, based on his homework and study load during the hiatus. But slowly the institutions of higher learning began reacting to the developing situation, and it was only a matter of time before UofSC followed suit, by extending student “vacations” by a week…and setting up the expectation for online learning after that, at least until April 3^rd. On the one hand, Bonus Derek Time—yay!

And yet…it’s unclear at this point how this whole…process…will be managed. For science majors like Derek, who have a significant portion of their schedule devoted to labs…what will replace them? And of course, he’ll need the rest of his materials that he left in his apartment. So, does he return to Columbia and brave the Covid-pocalypse on his own? Or remain in the care of his family, who can help him through the illness if and when it strikes? I mean, he’s never really been that sick before (knocking on wood, etc.), so I hate to think of him trying to navigate a serious malady without our support. Yes, he’s technically an adult, but this is a much more complicated health issue than your basic cold, and who knows whether he’d be able to get the supplies or assistance he needs…so many questions!

(Ay yi yi. This will definitely require some discussion amongst Team WestEnders as to how this is going to transpire for our collegian. Further details to follow, as they are determined…)

Meanwhile, at least some things are proceeding as normal, for the time being. At UNC, we haven’t been ordered to work remotely—yet. I attended part of a regularly scheduled Family Medicine conference last weekend, and once again, the population of doctors appears to be taking the situation in stride, eschewing panic for common sense hygiene practices and an extra dose of caution. Likewise, those in charge of the K-12 decisions in our school district remain mum on their contingency plans, in case they feel the need to suspend in-person teaching—or are required to by the state government.

However, in the Department of the Surreal, large meetings and festivals are being postponed or eliminated all over the country, which feels like a completely appropriate action in the current climate and didn’t even faze me. But for reasons I can’t actually explain, it seemed a lot more…dire?...to me when the sports leagues followed suit. First the NCAA, in the midst of conference basketball tournaments, decreed that games would be held without fans—again, reasonable, albeit…somber. But then the dominoes kept falling: some conferences went ahead and canceled all of their Spring sports; a couple of them suspended those hoops tournaments (and more are sure to follow, I think); and finally, the NBA quit, when players started testing positive for the super-bug (and the other professional leagues will be right behind them, if they have any idea of what’s good for them…and, well, everyone…)

(Update: yeah, yeah, you know by now that all contests of any kind are shelved for the foreseeable future. I swear I started this…paddle down my stream of consciousness…just TWO DAYS AGO, and it becomes more obsolete by the hour…I’m trying to wrangle my wayward thoughts and keep up, but I’m afraid it’s a losing battle, friends…siiiighhhhh…)

Anyway, here’s yet another illustration of how rapidly-changing, unpredictable, and downright…cuckoo bananapants…this whole scenario is: while I was composing the first part of this rambling missive, the proclamation came in from Riley’s school district that they’re going to be moving Spring Break up to this coming Monday (from its regularly slotted time in April), stretching it to March 27th, and following it up with a week of what they’re adorably calling “Learning at Home”.

Hoo boy, that has the potential to be a fascinating experiment—whether wildly successful or epically crashing and burning--amiright? My High Schooler should, theoretically, be able to make that happen (as long as our home WiFi, as well as the relevant websites and cloud docs he’d need to access, remain operational, it goes without saying)…but my goodness, I can’t even wrap my head around how you’d apply this to the littler kids? Eventually we might have to accept that the…Real World Education…they’re inadvertently receiving this academic year…might not resemble anything close to what was originally in the curriculum. Lessons on epidemiology, statistics, medical best practices, and social implications of a planetary crisis, anyone? Whew…buckle up, buttercups…

And, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, during the course of my writing…”career”…I’ve never before felt like a journalist, trying to keep abreast and provide at least a minimum degree of coverage for breaking news…until now. I obviously can’t even finish the dang thing without having to amend or add details, so here’s the latest footnote: the worldwide offices of Husband’s employer will now be closed for what seems to have become the de facto “accepted self-isolation period” (also known as “a fortnight” in The Queen’s English, his HQ’s “mother tongue”). Presumably folks will continue to apply themselves to their tasks in the comfort and safety of their own homes—which Husband already does anyway—but the implications for how to conduct business under these circumstances is one of those nebulous TBD factors that are piling up at an increasingly alarming rate.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me: I’m ecstatic that some measures are finally being taken, and that they seem to be rational, well-thought-out, and in everyone’s best interests. At last it seems like the message is being conveyed: hey, we get it, this stuff is serious…and, um…what’s the other one? Oh, right, dangerous!

It’s just that the logistics are still kind of, well…sketchy at best, and potentially a gigantic flaming pit of disaster at worst. But let’s keep our fingers crossed (separately, 6 feet away from each other), and hope for the former, yeah? On that note, I’m off to hydrate, eat a healthy snack…and wash my hands (before, during, and after). Signing off with a virtual…namaste to all of you. (Sharing peace, harmony, and solidarity in these troubled times, with NO perilous contact—WIN WIN!)

Ay yi yi with 2020, y'all...amiright?

Never having experienced a global pandemic before, I’ve gotta admit this whole Coronavirus…situation…has me feeling a bit…on edge. I mean, when it first hit the news, from a country located on the other side of the planet, I remember thinking something along the lines of, “Oof, that sounds bad. How awful for them. I hope they get it under control before too many people get sick.” And then, as we discovered, they…didn’t. Rather, the illness began to spread, with increasing numbers of people not only being infected, but some of them actually dying, and…the previously mild, vague entity lurking in the background of our collective consciousness suddenly leaped into the spotlight and demanded attention as a real, and somewhat terrifying, threat.

Of course, I’d be completely remiss if I didn’t mention right upfront how lucky (and infinitely grateful) I am to live in a developed nation, with 21^st century hygiene-- and a partner whose job provides access to health care. (Regardless of how the current…idiotic…administration is catastrophically botching this whole issue. But that’s a can of worms I’m leaving firmly closed for the purposes of this post. *Restrains self from commencing rant.* You’re welcome…)

Even better, a recent social media post served as a palpable reminder of how incredibly fortunate I am to reside in my specific little corner of the world. It was just a brief notice on Twitter, announcing that UNC researchers had created a test for the disease, and as soon as it cleared FDA approval, they’d be able to use it to screen folks who might have been exposed and/or are displaying symptoms. Wow. Plus, that other university a couple of miles away (mutter mutter rhymes with Puke—ha!) is evidently working on one as well. Science, y’all: it’s the BEST!

In Casa WestEnders, I’d characterize our approach as…cautious…informed…and (in my case, at least) trying to avoid unnecessary panic. Sure, we always wash our hands, but maybe we’re ramping up the frequency a bit? And using more sanitizer? Basically, whatever preventive steps lie within our reach. Now, Husband spends his days right here in the home office, so he obviously isn’t out there “amongst the teeming germ-laden masses”, if you will. But his company did the prudent thing and canceled all international travel for the time being--smart and careful being the recommended order of the day--so kudos to them for being proactive and protecting their employees’ well-being.

Even the local school system has not only addressed the evolving story but, according to a disgruntled Riley, is preparing plans for how to continue educating students in the event that everyone has to stay home and learn remotely. (Yeah, he’s soooo NOT thrilled by this prospect. Frankly, I can’t blame him, because neither am I! So please join me in taking a moment to send a quick thought out into the universe that this doesn’t come to pass. Thanks…carry on…) In the meantime, he wryly noted, “Well, I guess I’ll stop doing my daily fistbump with B. at the beginning of Math.” (I told him a friendly shoulder-check could take its place, but he gave me the side-eye and proclaimed that was “weird”. Eh, I tried…)

And really, as things stand right now, that’s the biggest fear for me, personally: the notion that I’d have to hole up in my house for several weeks, either quarantined because I’d caught it, or isolated due to an outbreak in our area. Once again, knocking on wood (throwing salt over my shoulder, ALL the good luck things) that I happen to be employed not only by a renowned academic institution, but also in the Family Medicine Department. This translates to: surrounded by intelligent, capable medical professionals all the time…who share their insights on the topic, which tend to be fact-filled and include sensible advice.

Honestly, this is all I needed hear: one of my colleagues asked a faculty member/MD, “Look, am I gonna die?” To which the physician laughingly responded, “Um…NO!” And there you have it—the DOCTORS say we’re going to be fine (those of us who happen to enjoy generally robust health to begin with, at least), so that’s what I’m choosing to believe (whilst continuing to diligently follow all the precautions, it goes without saying, right? Side note: because of all this nonsense, I also went through a period where I felt it necessary to announce, every time I sneezed, “Pollen! It’s just allergies; I’m not contagious, I swear!” Mercifully, I think we’re past that now…and they’re not going to send me home.)

Meanwhile I’ve noticed—and keep in mind this is a very small-scale, anecdotal observation from one human’s point of view--that we who do have to venture out into the…Earthly Petri Dish…can be described as reacting on a scale of…let’s call it Studiously Noncommittal…all the way up to Doomsday Freakout. Hence the sudden, irritating shortages occurring in stores these days, where one might find it ridiculously difficult to lay hands on such modern everyday conveniences as, say, toilet paper…or the aforementioned hand sanitizer. Siiighhhh…

However, on the other side of the spectrum, this week UNC went ahead with its annual Huntley Lecture, which is a talk given by an invited speaker, attended by many people from the School of Medicine as well as other distinguished guests. It was held at an off-campus venue, and I went along as one of the advance guard, to set up and greet visitors. One of the first things our small committee noticed was the distinct absence of Purell, which in our opinion should have been stationed approximately every 5 feet, prominently displayed, to encourage generous application. Well, within oh, about an hour, guess what magically appeared all around us, as if summoned by…I don’t know…Antibacterial Elves, or something? That’s right, enough alcohol-based cleanser for the entire local population to BATHE in, should they so desire. Bugs, begone!

Furthermore, we witnessed an astonishing phenomenon from our vantage point at the registration table, in the middle of all the hoopla: the housekeeping staff unobtrusively made rounds of the building, disinfecting surfaces like the bathroom door handles, on a continuous loop. Trust me when I tell you that they never seemed to stop; once they finished a circle, they started the process over again, wiping things down thoroughly. It was…reassuring, to say the least.

And finally, to add a much-needed touch of lightness to a very somber topic, there was the behavior of the very dignified conference-goers themselves. For example, I saw more than one suited gentleman offer a cheeky grin…and an extended ELBOW to a peer, for what amounted to a rather whimsical, but also much safer and wiser, token of greeting than a handshake would have been in these uncertain circumstances. I actually found it kind of adorable to behold. Gotta love docs that don’t take themselves too seriously, yeah?

There you have it…here’s to keeping calm, avoiding hysteria, and lathering our digits in soap and sanitizer. And, all joking aside: fingers crossed that we all come through on the other side of the Great Coronavirus Scare of 2020!