Saturday, March 14, 2020

2020: you just can't make this stuff up...


Okay…raise your hand if it’s been a WEEK, y’all. I mean…I can’t even…with this damn virus and…all the other, assorted whatnot. So in an effort to preserve (what’s left of) my sanity, I thought I’d cobble together an mid-March update, only SOME of which has to do with the Rampaging Germs of Doom.

Let’s begin with exercise, shall we? Following what has become my own little tradition, last weekend I ran my first 5K of 2020 after the self-imposed “off-season” of January/February. This is always a bit of a gamble, given March’s typically fickle weather ways…and this year was no exception. Lemme tell ya, it was one chilly, WINDY endeavor—which didn’t make for particularly pleasant workout conditions…but perhaps not coincidentally did result in me logging unprecedented 9-minute miles (to get it the heck over with? Yeah, probably…) And then, just to demonstrate what a difference a couple of days makes in this topsy-turvy month, the Wednesday pub runners’ group got out and enjoyed the hard-earned extra daylight on a pristine 70* evening. Go figure.

Next, in Riley news, after sooooo much searching, interviewing, near-missing, and frustration, he finally was able to secure a job that actually STUCK this time—without being ghosted by employers, or being offered positions that, after further reflection, he decided didn’t really seem like a good fit for him. I feel like it’s safe to talk about now, since he’s gone through the training, completed several shifts…and received a paycheck! Holy guacamole—driving…working…What. Is. Happening to my BABY? (Deep breaths…it’s fine, it’s all fine…)

Then there’s Derek, who came home for his Spring Break as planned…with none of us honestly thinking ahead as to how the global…maelstrom of chaos…might affect his semester. For example, he brought only the books he needed, based on his homework and study load during the hiatus. But slowly the institutions of higher learning began reacting to the developing situation, and it was only a matter of time before UofSC followed suit, by extending student “vacations” by a week…and setting up the expectation for online learning after that, at least until April 3rd. On the one hand, Bonus Derek Time—yay!

And yet…it’s unclear at this point how this whole…process…will be managed. For science majors like Derek, who have a significant portion of their schedule devoted to labs…what will replace them? And of course, he’ll need the rest of his materials that he left in his apartment. So, does he return to Columbia and brave the Covid-pocalypse on his own? Or remain in the care of his family, who can help him through the illness if and when it strikes? I mean, he’s never really been that sick before (knocking on wood, etc.), so I hate to think of him trying to navigate a serious malady without our support. Yes, he’s technically an adult, but this is a much more complicated health issue than your basic cold, and who knows whether he’d be able to get the supplies or assistance he needs…so many questions!

(Ay yi yi. This will definitely require some discussion amongst Team WestEnders as to how this is going to transpire for our collegian. Further details to follow, as they are determined…)
Meanwhile, at least some things are proceeding as normal, for the time being. At UNC, we haven’t been ordered to work remotely—yet. I attended part of a regularly scheduled Family Medicine conference last weekend, and once again, the population of doctors appears to be taking the situation in stride, eschewing panic for common sense hygiene practices and an extra dose of caution. Likewise, those in charge of the K-12 decisions in our school district remain mum on their contingency plans, in case they feel the need to suspend in-person teaching—or are required to by the state government.

However, in the Department of the Surreal, large meetings and festivals are being postponed or eliminated all over the country, which feels like a completely appropriate action in the current climate and didn’t even faze me. But for reasons I can’t actually explain, it seemed a lot more…dire?...to me when the sports leagues followed suit. First the NCAA, in the midst of conference basketball tournaments, decreed that games would be held without fans—again, reasonable, albeit…somber. But then the dominoes kept falling: some conferences went ahead and canceled all of their Spring sports; a couple of them suspended those hoops tournaments (and more are sure to follow, I think); and finally, the NBA quit, when players started testing positive for the super-bug (and the other professional leagues will be right behind them, if they have any idea of what’s good for them…and, well, everyone…)

(Update: yeah, yeah, you know by now that all contests of any kind are shelved for the foreseeable future. I swear I started this…paddle down my stream of consciousness…just TWO DAYS AGO, and it becomes more obsolete by the hour…I’m trying to wrangle my wayward thoughts and keep up, but I’m afraid it’s a losing battle, friends…siiiighhhhh…)

Anyway, here’s yet another illustration of how rapidly-changing, unpredictable, and downright…cuckoo bananapants…this whole scenario is: while I was composing the first part of this rambling missive, the proclamation came in from Riley’s school district that they’re going to be moving Spring Break up to this coming Monday (from its regularly slotted time in April), stretching it to March 27th, and following it up with a week of what they’re adorably calling “Learning at Home”.

Hoo boy, that has the potential to be a fascinating experiment—whether wildly successful or epically crashing and burning--amiright? My High Schooler should, theoretically, be able to make that happen (as long as our home WiFi, as well as the relevant websites and cloud docs he’d need to access, remain operational, it goes without saying)…but my goodness, I can’t even wrap my head around how you’d apply this to the littler kids? Eventually we might have to accept that the…Real World Education…they’re inadvertently receiving this academic year…might not resemble anything close to what was originally in the curriculum. Lessons on epidemiology, statistics, medical best practices, and social implications of a planetary crisis, anyone? Whew…buckle up, buttercups…

And, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, during the course of my writing…”career”…I’ve never before felt like a journalist, trying to keep abreast and provide at least a minimum degree of coverage for breaking news…until now. I obviously can’t even finish the dang thing without having to amend or add details, so here’s the latest footnote: the worldwide offices of Husband’s employer will now be closed for what seems to have become the de facto “accepted self-isolation period” (also known as “a fortnight” in The Queen’s English, his HQ’s “mother tongue”). Presumably folks will continue to apply themselves to their tasks in the comfort and safety of their own homes—which Husband already does anyway—but the implications for how to conduct business under these circumstances is one of those nebulous TBD factors that are piling up at an increasingly alarming rate.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me: I’m ecstatic that some measures are finally being taken, and that they seem to be rational, well-thought-out, and in everyone’s best interests. At last it seems like the message is being conveyed: hey, we get it, this stuff is serious…and, um…what’s the other one? Oh, right, dangerous!

It’s just that the logistics are still kind of, well…sketchy at best, and potentially a gigantic flaming pit of disaster at worst. But let’s keep our fingers crossed (separately, 6 feet away from each other), and hope for the former, yeah? On that note, I’m off to hydrate, eat a healthy snack…and wash my hands (before, during, and after). Signing off with a virtual…namaste to all of you. (Sharing peace, harmony, and solidarity in these troubled times, with NO perilous contact—WIN WIN!)

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