It could be a loooong Winter...

I don't know if it's the time change, or the cooler weather...or just the fact that he's a 10-year old boy...but this week has been loaded with examples of prime Riley gooberheadedness. Well, I suppose in all fairness I probably should blame the first incident at least partially on the return of The Dark Months (as they shall be called...at least by me...) You see, since we now lose all semblance of daylight by 5:30, the boys don't have as many hours to romp outside after school as they'd like. They saunter in when they can no longer see whatever ball they were throwing or kicking around, they shower...and then they gape at the clock in utter disbelief and distress, astounded that it's only 6:00 or so, and they have HOURS ahead of them with NOTHING to do. I swear, it seems like my children have suddenly forgotten how to exist when confined inside of four walls. (And all I can think of is: they would have lasted approximately one day in, say, the Little House on the Prairie era, I tell ya.) As it is, they wander through the house, quietly moping--until they burst into a vocal lament about how bored they are and how long it is until bedtime. Sheesh. I'm about to teach these boys...I don't know, macrame, or something, because they sure do need a hobby all of a sudden, and badly. (To clarify: not that I know macrame...or knitting...or any other crafty type of activity, as a matter of fact. On second thought, perhaps I'm not the best role model for this...and also, we ALL ought to learn a new pastime...)

Anyway, when faced with this scenario a few nights ago, I offered to play a card game with Riley, to while away a few minutes before he needed to turn in for the night. We settled on Uno, which he'd not yet experienced in his young life. Well. Let's just say the, ahem, "competitive gene" is strong in this one. (From which parent? I'm not saying...) There was excessive taunting. ("Ooh, draw two, how do ya like that?") There was obnoxious gloating. ("I'm winning! Whoo hoo!") And there was even an elaborate, unrestrained...victory dance when he managed to ditch of all his cards first. Also, he immediately began keeping track of everyone's Win/Loss record...and he asked to play again the following evening. Sigh. I fear we've created an Uno Monster...

However, that might just be preferable to the alternative we encountered on a different night. Riley had brought home a permission slip to participate in the Chorus at his school. This led to some discussion about singing in general (which by the way both of my sons claim to despise as a rule). But then...some crazy karaoke (um...without the machine...) broke out as Riley--with no provocation whatsoever--began belting out the lyrics to...Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball ("I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love, All I wanted was to break your walls, all you ever did was wre-e-eck meeeee"). As if this weren't horrifying enough, with the rest of his family staring at him in stunned incomprehension, he immediately changed gears and began wailing the song Slow Down...by Selena Gomez. ("Breathe me in, breathe me out...") Oh. Dear...my pre-adolescent has morphed into...a teenybopper overnight!

At this point Riley was giggling maniacally and prancing about the bedroom while his older brother and parents exchanged half-hysterical, half-perturbed glances behind his back and wondered what to make of this display. Riley seized control of the confused silence and yelled enthusiastically, "Okay, now I'll take requests!" Figuring we might as well go along with it, we started suggesting artists in rapid succession: AC/DC ("You...shook me all night long!"); Justin Timberlake ("And baby, it's amazing I'm in this maze with you, I just can't crack the code, one day you're screaming you love me loud, the next day you're so cold"); Florida Georgia Line ("Baby you're a song, you make me wanna roll my windows down and cruuuuuise"); Lady Gaga ("I live for the applause, applause, applause, I live for the applause (plause), live for the applause (plause), live for the way that you cheer and scream for me..."); Maroon 5 ("I really wanna love somebody, I really wanna dance the night away"); Taylor Swift ("I knew you were trouble when you walked in"); the Doors ("Riders on the storm, like a dog without a bone"); Scorpions ("Here I am, rock you like a hurricane"); Rihanna ("We found Dove in a soapless place"...oh wait, that was a parody version made up by one of Derek's clever-but-silly friends...never mind...). Holy radio replay, Batman, it was downright SCARY! No matter what we threw out, he knew the correct words...and this is the child who--I thought--never listened to his iPod or even paid attention to the radio. Yet, somehow his brain is just a...musical funhouse, nonetheless.

After 20 minutes or so of this vaudeville act, Husband and I had one of those parental moments when we silently agreed to pull a strategic "Oh, would you just look at the time" ploy and send the children off to prepare for bed. (You know, now that they were all riled up from the stimulating episode of Riley's Big Variety Show...) Clearly, we've got to come up with some nice, wholesome...CALM leisure options for the cold season ahead. Either that, or I start dosing their chocolate milk with a sedative at dinner time and we all have an early lights-out...heeeyyyyyy...