Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Winter weirdness continues...

Okay, now this is just getting...silly. As transplanted North Carolinians, we were told to expect most days to be pretty nice during...that season between Fall and Spring. There are definitely cold snaps, but they tend to be short-lived. The dreaded wintry precipitation didn't actually make an appearance until recently, when it arrived with a....well, "vengeance" is much too strong a word (especially when reading the daily Horror Reports--I mean "Weather Forecasts" from places like Boston and Syracuse...shudder)...perhaps "tantrum" better describes it.

The festivities kicked off last week, with the infamous Quarter-Inch-of-Ice Event...which closed schools from Tuesday through Friday. (Yes, you read that correctly...still scratching my head over it.) Apparently we were meant to wait patiently (yeah...have they even met me?) for Mother Nature to work her...solar magic, or something...and melt the sidewalks and parking lots...without chemical assistance, which presumably isn't in the Southland Municipal Budget. (Oh, and incidentally, the Powers That Be still haven't quite decided how to make up the missed days--there's talk about having to attend on Memorial Day, which they did last year, or cutting into Spring Break, or....well, I'll save the last possibility for a surprise a bit later on...stay tuned...)

Well, at looooong last, the students went back to their academic institutions yesterday--whoo hoo! With things seemingly returning to normal, it didn't even occur to me to check my good pal NOAA for an update...so imagine my shock (and dismay, I'm not gonna lie) when I opened the curtains this morning and saw...white crystals floating down from the sky. Husband--who does, in fact, almost obsessively stay tuned in to his preferred site, weather.com--informed us that we should expect 1-2 inches. Huh. Well, that's interesting, I suppose, but we'd better get on with our day, right? Hahahahaha! You must be thinking like a...stoic...Winter-jaded...Northerner! No sooner had Riley packed up his stuff, met his friend at the bottom of the driveway, and begun trudging up the street towards school, when Husband's phone jingled cheerfully...to helpfully let us know that there would be a 2-hour delay...FOR HIGH SCHOOLS.

That's right, everyone else was either already in their seats (Elementary) or en route (Middle), but the adolescent slackers--I mean "teenage scholars"--got to lounge around for another couple of hours. (Derek was, as expected, thoroughly delighted with this bizarre turn of events. As for Riley, at least he has a good story: "When I was a kid, I had to walk a mile...uphill...in the snow...to get to school! Well...at least that one time, anyway....") But wait, there's more! As the gentle flakes continued to flutter down benignly from the heavens, another message came in...you guessed it, they gave up entirely, and cancelled school...for the 9th-12th graders. If you can believe that nonsense, it gets even BETTER: for the makeup day, they're expected to show up...this Saturday! Seriously, I don't know whether to slap my forehead, fall on the floor in hysterics, or just stand here gaping in astonishment at this concept. (Can I do all 3? That might be quite a show...)

At Derek's soccer game this past weekend, I was told by a teammate's mom that this has actually happened in the past...but few students actually show up...and they end up having to hire substitutes for many of the teachers as well. So I ask you the obvious question: What's. The. Point? Unless--work with me, here--I picture the kids sitting around the library, looking sleepy...disgruntled...and defiant. A mean-tempered guidance counselor stalks in and barks instructions at them. They are to sit quietly...and write an essay about "Who You Think You Are". Friendships form, and hijinks ensue, while an awesome soundtrack plays in the background. Would it be a very bad idea to show The Breakfast Club to Derek before he's relegated to Saturday School? Yeah...probably...

But here's the thing: having been caught unprepared this time, I actually looked ahead to what's coming in our Winter What-the-Heck Week...and it's potentially...let's call it "not terribly good". NOAA (with whom I'm kinda having a love/hate relationship right about now) claims that we might be slated for another 2-4 inches of the-other-4-letter-s-word on Wednesday night. Siiiiiighhhhh. As Mr. Vernon would have yelled: "You want another one?" But I just don't imagine the real-life kids angrily spitting back, "Yeah!" We'll just have to see how this plays out. Oh, and not to worry about Riley--he's getting released early for good behavior, as the most recent email states that schools are being dismissed "as soon as they feel it's safe to run the buses."

Crazy, crazy, crazy. However, we've also been assured that Spring usually begins to assert itself around the end of February...which is this coming weekend...so we'll just try to brush this ridiculous little episode aside, and hold out for the happy season of flowers-and-baseball!

No comments: