Back in the
Summer, when Derek was striving mightily to accumulate enough supervised behind-the-wheel
hours to obtain that elusive Driver’s License, he and his brother hatched a Plan. (And if those aren’t terrifying words to a parent, I don’t know what is…’cuz really,
what could possibly go wrong, when
two teenage boys put their heads together and start brainstorming? Ay yi yi…) Anyway, they got this idea that--when
Derek was officially granted leave to operate a motor vehicle…without an adult
sitting in the passenger seat--the two of them would embark together upon a Fast Food Tour…Extravaganza.
You might
be puzzled as to the meaning and significance of this idea. You see, Team
WestEnders doesn’t dine out at restaurants
very often (don’t get me wrong—we LIKE to, but it just doesn’t tend to happen, with activities, busy schedules,
school and work demands…and whatnot). And when we do, we’re pretty picky
about where we take our business. I’ll be the first to admit that some of this is due to my dietary restrictions, but we also just
have certain…standards…about the quality of our cuisine. In essence, we’re
more the Chipotle/Panera kind of crowd, rather than your McDonald’s/Popeye’s gang.
However,
the kids decided that they were going to go all…rogue fast food…on us, and patronize establishments that,
specifically, they’re never allowed
to experience with the family. For example…Taco
Bell--although when they were negotiating their tentative agenda, Riley
frowned and said reluctantly, “Um…we can go,
but I’m not sure I’m actually gonna eat
anything there.” (Yeah, very wise thinking, dude…your tummy will probably thank
you!)
Other
options included Cook Out (a burger
joint, which Derek swears is decent,
rather than junky), Arby’s (only because they find the commercials
so hilarious, or as Derek put it, “Well, they DO have ‘the meats’!” Sigh…), and
Chik-Fil-A. (Now, I used to feed them lunch there, when they
were munchkins and we’d go to the mall on occasion to hang out. But
obviously this was long ago…before I
became a vegetarian--so I guess they miss it, or something? Who knows…) As
much as I shake my head over some of their choices, at least when I asked them
if, say, Burger King had made the
cut, they vehemently shook their heads and declared, “No way—they’re horrible!” (I have no idea what they’re basing this on, but I’m gratified that
they’re retaining at least a shred of
their…culinary upbringing. Perhaps there’s
hope for them, yet…)
So, with Derek
having achieved his Provisional License
at last (yay!)—and with the added incentive of having recently been entrusted
with their own debit cards (gulp)--the
siblings were all set to kick off this grand
scheme. And can you guess what lucky contender won the coveted first visit? That would be…Wendy’s. As Riley put it, “Let’s start
with one of the…not-so-bad ones.” Then he added, “And, can there be vegetables
cut up for me when I get home?” (Yep…that’s my boy…)
Thus it
came about that one Sunday afternoon when Riley didn’t happen to have a soccer
game, they climbed in Husband’s car and traveled to the closest franchise
location, to eat their fill of…processed
meat patties, frozen French fries, and fountain sodas. (What? I’m not a fan--can you tell?) They
returned safe, satiated…and quite pleased
with themselves, I must say.
Flush with
their success, Riley was all for making it an every weekend thing…but Derek—believe it or not—squashed his
enthusiasm a little bit by pointing out, in a tone of mild irritation, “These meals
cost money, you know!” Ha! Get a load
of Mr. Fiscal Responsibility, would
ya? Suddenly the financial lessons we’ve
diligently tried over the years to impart, about spending vs. saving your funds, blah blah blah…seem to sink in more
thoroughly when you can monitor your checking
account balance…steadily decreasing…every
time you swipe that innocent-looking plastic rectangle.
But, not
wanting to put the kibosh on their cute brother bonding, I pointed out that
they have several helpful items at their disposal to save them some cash:
certificates from Chik-Fil-A and Jersey Mike’s, each for one free item off the menu (the former
was included in the swag bag from a recent
5k race we ran; the latter was given
to Derek by a friend who…just said he wouldn’t
use it…for whatever reason. Or…maybe he’s just witnessed how much Derek enjoys eating? Yeah, that sounds about right…). Also, Riley’s godmother, when I regaled her with the
story of what they intended to do, asked what his absolute favorite fast food-type eatery was…and presented him with a giftcard for his last birthday. (Oh, it’s
Noodles & Co., in case you were
wondering.)
Therefore,
at least their next several outings will be partially-to-fully-subsidized….and
completely clear of parental interference,
because with the exception of the noodle joint (and Chik-Fil-A, for Husband), I
don’t think either of the WestEnders grown-ups would be caught dead setting foot in any of their shortlisted
restaurants. Nope, it’s just: hand over the keys,
give them the obligatory “be careful
and behave yourselves” speech (that
was the entire thing, by the way—it’s
pretty much understood by this point)…and
perhaps check to see if we have any Pepto
Bismol in the medicine cabinet for when they return…just in case… (Unless, of course, they change their minds and let
slip that they’re headed to Chipotle,
in which case…I call “shotgun”!)
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