During my precious
weekend of alone time I kept myself amused
in various ways—such as cheering for female
superheroes at the theater (while eating popcorn) and exploring…exotic new locales (yeah, yeah, that
might be overstating “Winston-Salem, NC”, but do me a favor and just go with
it…). Husband and sons, meanwhile, relaxed, romped on the beach, reportedly
helped their parents/grandparents out with household chores, and eventually
returned to me...although not quite in the same healthy state I’d last seen them. Or, as Husband ruefully (and
dramatically) proclaimed upon entering the house, “Sorry, I apparently broke the children!”
Um…oh-kaaay…what’s
up with THAT? I was already somewhat alarmed, especially since I’d gotten this
text from Derek earlier in the day:
“We’re just
headed back now. We had to stop by urgent care to remove a (see right) from Riley’s foot. Then we ate a[t] Dairy
Queen cuz their blizzards are upside-down thick. We’ll be back in 6 hours.”
Now, I admit
I reached for my reading glasses, just sure to be sure of what I was seeing.
But it appeared that my beloved child was trying to tell me that Riley’d had…a…cute…pink…octopus extracted from his foot?
I do know my
teenager, and his tendency to…shall we say “embellish”?
Nah, let’s be honest: “outright make
stuff up for entertainment value”
is more accurate. So I decided to ignore the DQ reference for now, and address
the larger issue, as I replied with motherly skepticism, “Is any of that
actually true (besides the time you left)?”
He responded,
“All of it.” I was not terribly...reassured…by
this response, but figured that the best thing to do would just be to wait
until they arrived, and get the true
story (from someone ELSE, preferably).
However, when
Riley came limping into the kitchen later that evening, I began to suspect that
there was at least a grain of truth to the tale. It turns out that one day when
they’d been jumping around in the waves on Hunting Island—and Riley confessed
here that he’d also been attempting to whack
his older brother with his boogie
board, for reasons known only to him—Riley landed on a sharp shell fragment. What he didn’t realize
at the time was that a tiny piece broke off and lodged itself in the ball of
his foot, near his toes.
Then over the
next several days it began to bother him, until they finally opted to have it
taken care of at an Urgent Care facility on the way home, rather than waiting
and allowing it to continue to worsen (as Derek had more or less faithfully
related…well, without the OCTOPUS, that is. He claimed it was the best he could
do, since he couldn’t find a seashell emoji—uh-huh,
suuuure…)
As an added
bit of…excitement?...the doctor
prescribed an antibiotic and strongly
encouraged Husband to fill it. Why the medicine,
for a minuscule cut on Riley’s foot?
Just because the presence of something called Vibrio has recently been detected in the ocean water near the beach
where they had been so lightheartedly playing. What’s that, you might wonder? Eh, nothing much to worry about….only a
FLESH EATING BACTERIA. Can I just say, “Yikes, y’all—I’m in full agreement: bring
on the preventative germ-killing super-drugs!”
Sheesh, I
suppose it’s no wonder they felt the
need to try and cancel out the negative start to their homeward-bound journey
by indulging in some burgers and milkshakes at the aforementioned greasy
spoon joint. Aaaannnd, about that…a couple of hours afterward, Derek’s stomach (which is typically
cast-iron-reliable) rejected the meal
he’d so graciously…inflicted upon it…resulting in an…ahem… “unfortunate incident” in Blenheim, South
Carolina (in a restroom, thankfully, NOT Husband’s car).
When they
shared this with me, all I could think of was, “Blenheim? It even SOUNDS like barfing!” To which Husband gleefully
exclaimed, “Yes, that’s awesome! Derek, you don’t feel like you’re going to Blenheim again, do you?” (And just like
that, it became a part of Team WestEnders’ family lexicon. Feel free to use it
as well…it’s just too good not to…)
Whew, I’m
kinda glad I missed this jolly little
getaway, to tell you the truth! But I’m happy to follow up with the addendum
that all is now well. Derek’s tummy
evidently was hunky-dory after the
removal of whatever had offended it so strongly. In fact, the next day he felt
completely normal and passed the test of being able to work a shift at Subway (which of course involves
preparing food—so if he hadn’t been fully recovered, that would have quickly
posed a problem). Riley continues to apply ointment
to his foot and cover the spot with a bandage
for protection…but he insisted he was hale and hearty enough to attend soccer camp Monday through Friday
evenings, this week. One night down, and he says it didn’t hurt whilst running
around on a field and kicking a ball.
And there you
have it: a thrilling vacation…that
has all of us wishing for another one,
just to finish decompressing! So, as we tackle the current chores and To Dos, just
keep repeating…fruity drinks and tropical paradise are NEXT week…
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