Well-fed guinea pigs--ahem..."loved ones"

Is anyone else out there like me: doesn't particularly enjoy preparing food myself...but gets a kick out of observing other people chef-ing it up on TV? Don't get me wrong--I've definitely expanded my culinary vocabulary, and picked up lots of useful tips from all the Food Network and Cooking Channel shows I've indulged in, whilst lounging on my sofa. Occasionally I even stumble upon a recipe I want to test out...such as last week on The Kitchen, when a guest presenter demonstrated how to make a dessert that I found both intriguing...and suspicious.

You see, she concocted a blondie-type cookie bar without using any flour at all, which of course rendered it gluten-free. I also noticed that--as an extra-special bonus for me--it didn't require any eggs. Which leads me to the "skeptical" part of the equation, because while it sounded (and looked) undeniably delicious, I couldn't quite understand how it held together without any apparent binding agent (outside of possibly...I don't know...faerie magic? Or what have you...).

Well, then...challenge accepted! So I proceeded to attempt a super-secret assembly behind closed doors, to prevent anyone from figuring out what was actually included in the dish. I knew the Male Trio's opinions would be irrevocably colored by knowing ahead of time what healthy components were hiding inside the sweets. I crossed my fingers that the more taste-forward and visually recognizable ingredients...namely peanut butter and chocolate chips...would do their jobs and adequately disguise the stealthy good-for-you qualities.

I even went so far as to throw away the one tell-tale can before anyone could see it, and I was feeling smugly satisfied that my complicated ruse had worked. That is, until Derek wandered into the kitchen, after I'd put the baking pan into the oven, and spotted the printed instructions. At that point I thought the jig was up for sure...but his gaze had fallen upon the title and he immediately fixated on that, exclaiming indignantly, "Orange and chamomile! I knew it was weird! Ewww!"

This was actually hilarious....since I'd also decided that those two items sounded odd and unnecessary, and I'd therefore purposely left them out! However, it was enormously difficult to convince my son that I was being truthful. (Apparently he has deep-seated and disturbing trust issues when it comes to me...and experimental edibles. Who knew? I guess we'll have to address that at some point...) Finally I snapped in exasperation, "Look around you. Do you see oranges? And have you EVER known me to zest....anything, for any reason? Or for that matter, to drink chamomile tea? Okay, then, there's your answer!"

Ay yi yi. He finally let that go, but then he declared that he wasn't trying it until I revealed exactly what was in there. And of course my response was, "Sure I'll tell you...after you have a bite." Ahhh, you see what we have here? I think this is what they refer to as a (slightly smaller version of a) Mexican Standoff, my friends: determined opponents, firmly dug into their positions, unprepared to compromise. Aaaannnnd that's how we arrived at dinner time--the only thing the fam knew for sure was that the dessert was free from both wheat and huevos.

I swear though, the stark trepidation on their faces made it seem like I was asking them to choke down crickets, or something. Heck, Riley even tried to avoid the whole scene by slipping up to his room the second he finished his meal, forcing me to drag him back down to join the...um...palate-expanding adventure. It was utterly ridiculous...and it became even more so when they just sat there staring at their innocent chocolate-chip laden squares, refusing to touch them until I demanded that they for heaven's sake just freakin' pick them up and take a nibble. (I even sarcastically offered to help by feeding them a forkful...making the "airplane" noise. Yes, like they're all FOUR year olds...)

Eventually they realized I wasn't going to give up (seriously, have they MET me?)...and agreed to all go in at the same time. (Big brave dudes, yeah?). And whattya know--not only did they survive...they admitted to being pleasantly surprised. (Granted, their expectations were abysmally low, but still, I'll take it...) Furthermore, Derek was curious enough to start trying to guess the mystery ingredient. "Spinach? Nah, I don't see any green. Carrots? Sweet potatoes?" After a few minutes of increasingly unlikely stabs in the dark, he concluded with, "Um...seaweed?"

I rescued him from further mental gymnastics...before he hurt himself during his vacation...by announcing that the super-food masquerading as a tasty treat was actually: CHICKPEAS. The guys proclaimed themselves suitably astonished...and impressed...and even graciously went so far as to concede that they were yummy...and no one would know about the beans unless you told them.

So, I still don't exactly understand the...alchemical process...that makes them successful. But I'm willing to let them remain somewhat of a riddle, because not only are they full of nutritious things, but they also passed the rigorous Team WestEnders Taste Test. I'm gonna have to call this a WIN, folks! (And as a matter of fact, I definitely deserve some kind of reward for all my efforts...so I should go have some, right now...)