Thursday, January 28, 2010

Say Yes to Nukes! (but only the kitchen kind)

I feel compelled to just go ahead and admit this right up front:  I am a Spoiled Modern Woman (in caps, because really, it should be a proud title, or an elite club--Ladies: can't survive without today's time-and-work-saving inventions?  You're one of us!)  I would never have succeeded in Colonial Times, with the cooking over a fire, and the beating clothes in a washtub, and the--ugh--outdoor "plumbing" (Hey, throw in a tent, and it sounds a lot like camping...which explains why I refuse to do that!)

You'll see, then, why Wednesday night's events were so...unsettling to me.  Our story begins innocently enough, with me puttering around the kitchen, preparing an exquisite meal for my family (Alright, it was frozen fish sticks and french fries. At least it was alliterative! Do I get points for that?)  I needed to steam some vegetables--in the microwave, naturally--so I put them in, closed the door, pushed the button...and instead of the familiar whir of power, there was a soft "pop!" And then, eerie silence. Apparently, that was the sound of a small appliance passing over to the Electronic Afterlife (where I hope mine spends some time in Purgatory--it had no business dying after less than 2 years!)

I stood in front of it, staring, hoping for some sign of revival.  But the interior lights were out, the display was dark, and no amount of repeated punching of the keypad, or plugging and unplugging, or even hauling it over to another outlet (on the off-chance it maybe wanted a different kind of electricity--what do I know, I was desperate!) would make it restart.  But there was no time for mourning; I had hungry boys to feed!  I retrieved the bowl of icy green beans from inside the microwave and...stood there, helpless, honestly wondering what I should do with them. (Completely random thought as my blithering brain was trying to come up with options:  I have to think like the Amish!  How to they thaw food?  Well, duh, they don't, since they don't have freezers...sigh... back to our Dinner Dilemma...)

Finally I realized I'd have to--gasp--boil water!  Oh, the inconvenience!  The waiting! The mess I made, scooping the beans (french-cut, therefore skinny) out of the hot water with a slotted spoon!  It was practically Dinner Theatre, it was so dramatic (or perhaps that was just my performance, wiping my brow and playing for sympathy from the crowd.  Didn't work; no tips.)

Fortunately, this is not Little House on the Prairie, where I would have to hitch the horses to the wagon, and ride half a day into town to purchase cooking supplies. So today--less than 24 hours after the Demise of the Microwave--I rushed to Target to replace it. Maybe that seems a little crazy to you, but it's wintertime, it's cold, and I may want tea later.  And I am NOT boiling a pot of water again! (So there!)

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