Inaugural WestEnders Summer Road Trip

Back in my rambunctious 20s, I determined that I needed to see more of the US than the East Coast where I had grown up. My family vacations as a kid consisted of spending a week in Ocean City, Maryland, visiting relatives in the wilds of Kentucky (a hellacious 14-hour drive, as I recall), or--in the really adventurous years--jaunting down the length of Interstate 95 to stay with my Great Aunt and Uncle in Florida (another double-digit "in-car-ceration"--hahahahaha! sorry!--but at the end, the reward of course was a date with MICKEY). But suddenly as a young adult professional I had free time (summers off, since I worked for a public school system) to go exploring. In the true spirit of early American pioneers, I would pack up my wagon (Dodge Neon) with essential supplies (Diet Dr. Pepper, energy bars, changes of clothes, and a few personal care items) and head out on the highways of our enormous land. I did tours of the South (y'all), Yellowstone, and even a gigantic loop that took me through Texas, the Southwest, and all the way to California before cutting back through the Midwest.

So it was with great impatience and anticipation that I awaited the glorious day when my sons would be old enough to tolerate a good old American Family Road Trip. And finally, the time seemed ripe--we're past babyhood (diapers and bottles) and toddlerhood (constant-need-for-entertainment and frequent independence-asserting tantrums) and into the awesome stage of "We've got our electronics, Mom, leave us alone and concentrate on the directions!" For our very first Automobile Vacation, we chose a north-eastern route that would include stops in Niagara Falls (sleeping on the Ontario, Canada side), Cooperstown (New York), and Boston (Massachusetts, I know: DUH!) It was designated as a good "training trip" to see how well our 11 and almost-8 year olds did in the car over multiple days, for up to 8 hours at a time. First, of course came the all-important packing. (Well, technically there was planning...but mostly this involved me and the Internet during the Winter, and it's not so exciting, so let's just skip ahead, shall we?) For the boys, I swear this step lasted all of 5 minutes. Shorts, t-shirts, undies, socks, shoes, bathing suit, deodorant, toothbrush, DS and games: Done! (Yes, there are definitely times when living with males has its advantages!) I won't even bother mentioning what I packed; suffice it to say, I'm a girl and I need more...stuff. Then there's the obligatory portable DVD player and movies, car games, cooler full of snacks, iPod loaded with showtunes for family singalongs (yeah, like THAT was gonna happen...wishful thinking, there).

With the back of the Forester loaded-but-not-stuffed, we were ready to face the Open Road! My hopeful departure estimate was 8 a.m. The actual figure: 8:25. Honestly, for a family of 4, that's pretty darn close, and I'm putting it in the W-column. We turned off of our street and made it a full quarter-mile from our house before I recalled that the printed directions were...in the extreme back corner of the trunk area (I had attempted to program Babs the GPS, but found out that she doesn't acknowledge Canada, apparently. Snob!) After that slight false start, we successfully navigated all the way to the Breezewood entrance of the PA Turnpike before requiring a gas-and-drink break. So far the brothers had very pleasantly played a rousing card game (which I don't understand at all, but evidently it encourages slapping one another's cards and lots of raucous laughter), gone a few rounds of magnetic Hangman (excellent purchase, yay Mom!), and moved on to video-game time. By this point things were still humming along--we were making good time, cruising through central Pennsylvania--but we could all sense impending hunger. No problem, we'll just stop to eat lunch, somewhere on this little State Road...there must be some fast food...surely they EAT in this state...don't they? We honestly were forced to stop for an unscheduled, desperate 2-minute run-in-and-pee drill because the food prospects looked so dim and the, um...Nature's call was so strong. Becoming giddy with low-blood-sugar, we rolled into Johnsonburg, where the most noteworthy attraction was a sign on a construction company worksite that said, "Danger never takes a vacation." At the time, this was utterly hilarious, trust me. Then, we spotted our oasis: a Subway counter...inside a gas station. Beggars will scarf down anything to avoid passing out on the street (that's the saying, right?), so it would have to do.

Fortified with cheap sandwiches, we felt ready to tackle Canada (well, not all of it, perhaps, but at least one small city). We showed our passports at the border (and for some reason this is much more thrilling than it should be...or we're just easily amused), declared our intentions (fun and scenery, eh), and entered the Great White North, land of kilometers and Celcius. (Yeah, we were immediately confused and disoriented--how fast am I supposed to be going? The kilometers on my dial are too small to read, Officer! And don't even get me started on multiplying by 5/9 and adding 32--"it's stinkin' hot" is accurate enough for me.) We pulled into our hotel at 4:30, beating the MapQuest estimate by about an hour when you factor in pit-stops: another W for Team WestEnders. I'd booked us into the Radisson, which is MUCH swankier than we normally go, but we could see the Falls from our window, as promised. I think Riley summed it up for all of us: "I can't believe we're in Canada...and wow, look at Niagara Falls!"

From our 10th-floor room you could ogle the rapids leading up to the dropoff, and a corner of the waterfall itself. Even that small part is jaw-droppingly gorgeous, but we quickly stowed our gear and went down to get a much closer look. That first night, we stayed on the perimeter, gazing down at the water, which is a magnificent and powerful spectacle. You can even get close enough to the edge to watch how the river approaches in a deceptively calm manner...and then tumbles over willy-nilly, bursting into foam and spray as it roars down the rocks to crash at the bottom. Super-cool. (And when you stand in a spot that gets spritzed with some windblown droplets, literally cool!) We were awestruck, we were grateful for this natural wonder...we were hungry again. As we quickly realized: we were in a popular destination, at the peak of visitation season, with only high-priced dining options available to us. Oh well, nothing could be done about it, so we chose IHOP of all places. And as a reward for our decision, we ended up with a (ready for this?) $67 bill for dinner. Excuse me? Is that supposed to be in some currency I'm not familiar with, like maybe Tourist Trap Dollars? (Drat, I forgot to check the Sucker Exchange Rate for today.)  Let me tell you, that incident sure left me with less friendly feelings toward our Neighbors to the North!

But anyway, I would have to deem Day 1 of our excursion a success. The children (bless their little pea-pickin' hearts--a shout-out to those Kentucky relatives) behaved beautifully in the car, there were no mishaps to report, and a good time was had by all. Time to rest up, for tomorrow, we test our walking shoes...and get wet!