This is what I wrote for my mother's funeral and delivered during the service.
Certain things about my mom would strike people immediately when they met her. The red hair—pardon me, auburn, as she would sternly correct anyone (including us) who got
that wrong. The twinkling blue eyes.
The ready smile and easy laugh. If you were fortunate enough
to spend some more time with her, you’d undoubtedly experience her warmth and kindness, for as our family used to affectionately tease, “The
woman never met a stranger.” And if
you happened to hang out with our family often enough, inevitably you’d eventually
be treated to the patented, dreaded, Mom
Glare. She bestowed these for such infractions as: terrible puns (Dad), dinner table stories
of--ahem--questionable taste (Jeanne)
or general rambunctious misbehavior
(one guess…Dan). [It’s possible I may have earned one or two myself, but I
can’t remember the reasons, so I’ll just move on…]
Now, I have to be honest—I didn’t always fully appreciate my mother, who had some very definite ideas…about everything. Such as:
I remember a turbulent period in elementary school when she tried to enforce a
“no pants, only skirts” rule, I guess to try and mold me into a proper little lady, or something. Yeah, that
one didn’t stick. Or when she modeled frugal money management…by clipping coupons…and trading bags of them with
the neighbors. I think even Dad snickered and rolled his eyes at the Mid County Drive Extreme Couponing Club.
We used to joke that Mom could “pinch a penny until it screamed”. But you know
what? Absolutely everything I learned about recognizing the value of a dollar, and saving, and budgeting…I got from her. She took her parenting job seriously,
striving to impart critical life lessons to us kids. Most of the time she
managed to lead quietly by example, and demonstrate what she wanted my siblings
and me to know…all the while tolerating our smart-aleck attitudes to make sure
we absorbed the important stuff.
Other things were more readily understandable, even to my
young self. Mom placed a lot of importance on education. She wanted her kids to do well in school, and beamed
with pride when we showed her a good grade (and she praised every single thing
I ever wrote…even if it stunk, God bless her). I like to think my own lifelong thirst
for knowledge started with her and Dad. (That’s right, they made me the nerd
you all still know today.) Mom didn’t go to college, but figured out how to
have a rewarding career in the Health
Department and take care of her family,
too…decades ago, when that wasn’t so commonplace. I can’t promise I was paying close
attention at the time, but right in front of me was a role model for how to achieve a successful
profession, tend to a husband and kids, and still make a mean chocolate chip cookie. (Luckily she passed
that skill on to me, too!)
In absolutely everything she did, her nurturing personality came through. Someone need a shoulder? There was Mom. Words of advice? Check. Just a sandwich? Sure. And that’s really what
lay at the heart of my mom: a deep, passionate desire to take care of people. My sister and brother and I grew up and forged
our own paths, but no matter what steps we would take or how far away we’d
roam, we would always come back to gather around my mom, the center and soul of our family. With
spouses, and some kids of our own, we’d flock to the love, comfort, and joy showered on us at her house. Even in the
last few years, with her declining health and increasing pain, she continued to
be a beacon for us all, guiding us with her wisdom,
delighting us with her humor…and yes,
glaring us into submission when
necessary.
Her passing leaves an unfillable hole in our lives. But I’m
grateful that my mom can now experience well-deserved peace, and rest, instead
of suffering. Words cannot begin to express how much we will all miss her. But I
have no doubt whatsoever that she’s watching us, waiting with a mischievous
grin and a big warm hug, ready for the day we can all be together again…and
someone had better remember to bring the chocolate chip cookies!
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