Fun facts about food

I don't remember any fanfare surrounding the topic of "Nutrition" when I was growing up...or any discussion whatsoever, for that matter. White bread, canned vegetables, and Crisco were all hunky-dory in the 70s. There weren't any "whole grain" these or "organic" those. No "grass fed beef" or "free range chickens". Nary a "trans fat" warning nor a "part skim dairy" option in sight. What we DID have was Twinkies. And nitrite-laden hotdogs. Plus fruit cups packed in heavy syrup. Also Spaghetti-Os. (Yes, those still exist, but I must believe they've changed for the better in the intervening decades. Incidentally, here's what we didn't have: Bike helmets. Infant car seats. And when we got older, I don't recall using the seatbelts...if the vehicle even had them. Honestly, it's a wonder any of us survived at all...) Anyway, truth be told, I continued to eat most of those things (and plenty worse) right up through my 20s, before I actually began paying attention to diet and exercise information, making better choices, and taking a healthier path.

My conversion came just in time, too, as I would be taking on another role in my 30s: Family Wellness Coordinator. (Ya like that? Sounds so much more official and important than "Mom"...) Suddenly I was responsible for the care and feeding of small animals--I mean "children"--and it became extremely important to me to provide balanced meals made up of tasty ingredients. Along the way we've encountered some challenges--such as when baby Derek wasn't gaining weight to his pediatrician's satisfaction, so she advised us to shovel extra fat into him in any way possible. I know: yum! (Hmm...maybe that explains why to this day he LOVES anything slathered in butter...) Or obviously when I decided once and for all to veer off of Meat Street, and become the household's sole Vegetarian. And then there's our current issue, one which all families eventually face as kids grow up--let's call it Adolescent Metabolism Syndrome. (Ooh, I'm loving the freedom to invent my own quasi-scientific labels. Nerd thrill!) I'm referring, of course, to the phenomenon in which the subject feels an increase in both the frequency and intensity of hunger, leading to a proportional leap in food consumption. In the adolescent brain, I'm sure it translates very simply: Starving!! Must! Eat!! (And...repeat...)

Naturally, 12-3/4 year old Derek is right in the midst of this at the moment. We tend to laugh about how much he's able--and willing--to pack away into his wiry frame. (However, at the grocery store I've found it useful to slip into "Denial Mode", so the Grand Total at the bottom of the receipt doesn't cause embarrassing bouts of sobbing at the register...) Meals, snacks--they're all opportunities to teach him about what kind of fuel he should ideally put into his body, as well as the benefits of specific nutrients. Wouldn't you know, right on cue he had his one-quarter mandatory Health Unit in school this Winter. While he complains quite a bit about how boring it is, and how he'd rather be playing basketball in P.E. instead of studying all this "dumb stuff", he did actually enjoy his homework last night. It involved the new, improved guidelines that replaced the outdated Food Pyramid. "My Plate" offers a clear visual schematic of the amounts one should eat from each category, in order to maintain a balanced diet. Okay, we can work with that. (It doesn't give you any indication of good and not-so-good nibbles in each group, but it's a start...)

His assignment required him to fill out a "Food SuperTracker" chart, in which he recorded the type and amount of each food he took in for the day, and calculated the calorie total. Great, right? Fun and educational, we love that! Then he told me how many calories, based on his age, height and weight, he SHOULD be scarfing on a daily basis. Ready? 2,800. Yes, two thousand, eight hundred. (Gulp. I might be bawling even more at the grocery store, now that I know this...) Even better, when the handy-dandy magical algorithm (or maybe Food Fairies? whatever...) finished figuring out what he had actually ingested, the number was (drum roll) 2,967. (Yeah, anyone who's ever witnessed him stalking a buffet...or the kitchen pantry...isn't the least bit shocked.) The poor dear was briefly concerned, "Mom, do I need to cut back?" Um, noooo, my skinny son with the approximate metabolism of a hyperactive gnat, I think you're fine.

So I suppose you can consider it a kind of karmic synergy, that as a middle-aged woman, my caloric needs are decreasing as Derek's (and eventually Riley's, too...sigh) skyrocket. As I consume less, to preserve my so-called "girlish figure", Derek will happily take up the slack (and then some). Maybe that way, we can protect the current status-quo with the shopping bill, without going bankrupt. And eventually, Derek can get a job...at a restaurant...where they'll feed him during his breaks! Until then, I'll just continue to stock up...on everything...and cultivate Blissful Ignorance about the High Cost of Feeding Boys!