Middle School Business, Part I: Scholastic

I don't remember if I took Mid-Year and Final Exams in Middle School, because, let's face it, that was waaaaay too long ago. But as the saying goes, "that was then, this is now", and Derek does indeed have to overcome these particular hurdles as part of his academic life. For the next week or so, the entire student body follows a "Modified Schedule", with shortened class periods to allow blocks of time for each test. There are special Review Guides to assist in preparing for the ordeal--I mean "demonstration of what you've learned". It's all very...formal and advanced-education-like.

This year for the first time Derek is studying a foreign language--namely Espanol--and I have been helping him go over his notes. Can I tell you how much I LOVE this? For so long, I've been anticipating the day when I could finally use my own skills to practice with him. I don't know how much fun it is for my darling child, but I'm enjoying the heck out of myself quizzing him on verb conjugations, vocabulary, pronunciation, and sentence structure. Because when he sits down with me, we don't just go over the list, translating items from English to Spanish or vice versa. Oh, nooooo. I query him in full sentences, using whatever words or phrases I darn well please, and expect him to reply back in kind. It's soooo much fun! (For meeeee...because it is all about my enjoyment, right? Oh yeah...and his grade...) And consider the benefits for him...an adviser who can correct your every error as it happens, so you don't continue to make the same mistake and memorize it the wrong way. Just think of it as...our own little Spanish Inquisition! (Without the torture, of course! Well, at least for meeeeee...) Hopefully all this trabajo will net him a good score, so he doesn't feel compelled to fire his tormentor...um, tutor.

I can only assume he has tests of some kind in all of his other subjects as well, but the only one I've heard about is Science. You see, they're evidently (get it--ha!) embroiled in some kind a biology-ish unit, and in lieu of an exam, they had to perform a Lab. With owl pellets. What, you may wonder, is such a thing? Well, let me just quote for you directly from the worksheet: An owl swallows its prey whole. (Who knew? But wait, here comes the good part...) "In its stomach, muscles and organs are digested, but indigestible parts like bone, teeth, fur, and feathers are regurgitated in a blackish clod called an owl pellet." Um...yay? My son will be analyzing owl...vomit...for points??? It gets better (if you can even believe that); here's what the instructions told them to do: after inspecting the outside of the pellet and determining its makeup (Derek's was "fur"), gently break apart your pellet and separate bones from fur and feathers. (Note: "Take special care with craniums and jaws." Um...ewww...) Find all of the bones, keeping in mind that "vertebrae, phalanges, metacarpals, metatarsals, and ribs are easiest to overlook." Record the total number of bones (50), then the number and type of craniums you find (4, "rodent"). Then for the coup de grace (or more likely "gross"), reconstruct the skeleton and identify your Owl Meal(s)! (Oh, to have been a fly on the wall, observing a group of 7th graders as they picked through bird barf. That would have been priceless. Incidentally, Derek reported that his investigative team couldn't get any more specific than "small rodent", but he assures me that'll be good enough for full credit...)

And there you have it, folks. our young movers and shakers of tomorrow, expanding their linguistic skills...and getting reallllly up close and personal with nature. I feel fairly secure in the knowledge that whatever topic they throw at Derek in Spanish I can handle...but I do hope I get a little warning when it comes time for him to dissect some unfortunate creature! Maybe not until next year...fingers crossed!