My older son
will be starting 9th grade in about a month…which in itself is
shocking enough to his mother. (Who--despite all obstacles--still valiantly toils
to remain firmly in her Happy Place known as…Denial…) Yes, even though he
towers above me, outweighs me by 20 pounds, shaves, and speaks in such a deep
voice that if I’m not right next to him I can’t immediately tell if it’s Derek
or Husband talking…it still somehow snuck up on me that my oldest “baby” is
preparing to launch into the uncharted Land of High School.
Yeah, yeah,
I know I should have seen it coming; after all, one of the first things I took
care of right after we moved was to register both boys in the local school
system. After that was accomplished, I contacted the individual schools to set
up meetings with the Guidance Counselors, so I could share information about my
favorite students—such as their report cards, recommendations from their
previous teachers about what classes they should take next year, and other
“official stuff” like that. Oh, and with the brave new worlds of Middle and
High School awaiting them, both Derek and Riley would need to choose some
elective courses to round out their required academic load.
So Derek and
I scheduled a tour with Mr. Thomas, and arrived ready to….storm the halls of
academia…or something. The first thing that struck both of us was the sheer,
overwhelming size of the place. Two floors--fine, that seems reasonable. But
then we stepped outside, exiting what I had believed to be the entirety of the school…to
move on to the next brick structure. I’m sorry, Building A…and Building B? “Oh,
yes,” Mr. Thomas cheerfully assured me, “and C…and D!”
What the
WHAT? Derek caught my eye and shook his head, both of us having similar
unspoken thoughts, “Good luck finding your classrooms, dude!” Mr. Thomas
continued, unaware of our consternation, “It’s really laid out sort of like the
campus for a junior college.” Well, that’s reassuring…unless you’re 14, and new
at all of this, and starting off, shall we say, “clueless”. (Eh, sink or swim,
right? He’ll figure it out…maybe they have Prefects to point First Years in the
right direction…)
But soon we
(okay, at least “I”) got caught up in examining all of the cool spaces—like the
Science hallway, with cartoon murals painted on the walls, depicting delightfully-geeky
puns relating to chemistry and environmental biology and whatnot. Or the
professional-looking Theater department, complete with a tool-stocked workroom
for building sets. And the huge, appropriately messy and creative Art studio.
And two—count ‘em, TWO gymnasiums, one boasting a rock-climbing wall. Which
leads me to my next point: when Derek is a Sophomore, he will be permitted to
take a PE class called “Healthful Living”, in which, according to the
description on the website, they will do the following: hiking
and camping, rock climbing, canoeing, sea kayaking, road biking, mountain
biking, archery, frisbee golf and other outdoor games. Are. You. KIDDING. Me?
How freakin’ awesome does that sound? Another option is a Sports Medicine/Athletic
Training course. Or there’s always Journalism, so he can write for the school
newspaper.
By the end of this, I could barely contain my glee. My inner
Super-Nerd was doing a happy dance, excited for all of the possibilities
available for my son’s education. (Or, you know, wishing I could partake of the
learning opportunities myself. Whatever…) After we said our goodbyes to Mr.
Thomas, promising to study the Course Catalog, make our selections, and get the
paperwork returned as soon as possible, I turned to Derek and uttered one
little sentence guaranteed to strike abject dread into the heart of every
teenager on the planet, “Buddy, that sounds so great…can I come to class with
you?”
Derek turned toward me, mouth hanging open (a hilarious
mixture of terror, horror, and disgust clearly displayed in his expression) and
blurted, “Mom! (a pause to gather his thoughts) “It’s not... ‘Take Your Parent to
School Day’ (another moment for emphasis, in case I was unclear about the
strength of his feelings on the subject)…like, E-V-E-R!” Well, rats! Fine, go
have all the fun yourself. But if they ever need chaperones for any of these
field trips, just wait and see how fast I fill out that volunteer form, baby!
(Silly me, I almost forgot to mention—what he ended up
choosing was Principles of Biomedical Sciences, which is “designed for students
to investigate the human body systems and various health conditions. They
determine factors that lead to the death of a fictional person and investigate
lifestyle choices.” One can only hope he’ll need consultation on his
homework…so I can play, too…)
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