Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Jeez, my "public" is getting so....difficult!

I got the strangest call yesterday. Well, let's start with the fact that it was odd for my phone to be ringing at all, since it rarely does that. When it happens, I either tend to ignore it completely, glance at the screen to see if I recognize the number...or sometimes, when taken off guard, just stare at it in bewilderment, wondering for what earthly reason it could possibly be buzzing at me.

In this case, I was leaving Whole Foods, after strolling over at lunchtime with a co-worker. A cursory peek revealed the face of a very well-known contact from my address book: my older son...presumably safely tucked away at school...studying hard, and learning...and...whatnot (evidently heavy on the latter, as we'll soon see). So of course I answered it, wondering why the heck he was trying to get in touch with me in the middle of the day. "Yeeeeees, Derek?" His chipper voice came clearly through the device, "Oh, hey, Mom...what's the name of your blog?"

What the WHAT? Okay, first things first, of course: "What are you supposed to be doing right now?" I sternly inquired. "We're at lunch," he blithely assured me. Having established that he was goofing off in his free time, and therefore not going to be incurring any detention-like consequences from this behavior, I continued with the next pertinent matter, "Why, exactly, are you talking about my blog?" He explained, "I mentioned that you had one, and one of my friends really wants to read it." "Um...suuurrrre...I guess," I thought to myself hesitantly. After all, what harm could come of it, if 15-year olds browse through some of our family stories? I mean, I generally try to keep it pretty G-rated, and I promised the kids I wouldn't write about anything TOO it should be totally fine...theoretically...right?

I went through this process rapidly in my head before coming to a conclusion, something along the lines of "Eh, why not?" Later that afternoon when Derek returned from his brush with academia, he reported that my writing had proven to be a huge hit with his crowd. The friend who had originally expressed such curiosity had pulled the URL up on his phone and commenced to read parts of it out loud to the group, much to everyone's amusement. According to my child, the conversation went kind of like this: "Hey, did you know you had a problem with your water heater last week?" To which Derek replied, in bemusement, "Uh...yeah, man...I was there, ya know?" This was followed by, "Awww...your mom didn't get to see your soccer game because of her new job. Were you sad?"

Apparently this went on for the Entire. Lunch. Period. Furthermore, Derek informed me that when they convene for their usual Friday night...Hours of Goofiness (you know, like Happy Hour, but for adolescents...complete with snacks, and Gatorade, and video games)....they plan to record themselves interviewing each other, using questions formulated from the content of my little stream-of-consciousness ramblings. Oh, good grief--that in itself should be a hoot. But what's cracking me up even more right now is that tomorrow, if they decide to check for new material, they'll read what I wrote...about them...reading what I wrote. Oh, nooooo, is this going to mess with fabric of the space/time continuum in any way? Even worse, I certainly hope I don't cause any high schoolers' heads to explode before 5th period! Go back to class, you crazy kids! Trust me, it's for your own good...

[Epilogue: I banged this out last night, then set it aside to re-read, edit and post today. When I was catching up on the events of the day with Derek this afternoon, he announced that his buddies had made it known that they had certain...demands...that they wished him to relay to me. (What are they....kidnappers? They've been watching too many crime shows, I tell ya...) One of these was "that I publish a new Friday". Oh, reeeeaaallly? Pretty bold words, for a fearsome gang of...10th graders. Well, not that I believe in negotiating with juvenile delinquents (Just kidding! You're delightful young men, the lot of you!)....but you go!

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