Thursday, August 31, 2017

Total eclipse of the...never mind...

With all the...personal hullabaloo...stirring up Camp WestEnders over the past several weeks, some of the more globally-relevant news items inadvertently got left out of the narrative, such as….what was it…oh yeah, just the first total solar eclipse to grace the continental U.S. with its presence since 1979. Furthermore, the last one wasn’t even visible where I lived when growing up--and this time, we were going to be in a region of 93% totality….so you can understand that it was kind of a Big Deal around here, and folks were pretty doggone psyched up about the whole thing. In fact, some people apparently decided that “almost” simply wasn’t good enough, so we began to hear stories of those who made plans to trek into the path of the full eclipse, in places such as western NC and Charleston, South Carolina.

Then, in the weeks leading up to the phenomenon, warnings started popping up all over the Internet, about the catastrophic eye damage that could occur if you were…unwise (I read this as “idiotic”, which the doctors were either too polite...or too timid...to say) enough to gaze directly at the giant, glowing celestial body, even while it was partially obscured--without proper protection.. Not to worry, though, as our family was prepared, thanks to…my co-worker’s wedding. 

You see, my colleague is a Research Scientist, and her husband is a Physicist, so when they got married, several weeks prior to the eclipse, they had the brilliant idea to provide NASA-approved cardboard glasses at each guest’s seat, as their wedding favors. (I know, right? How AWESOME is that?! And I swear, you have never seen such an ecstatic room full of nerds, as we all found our place settings, discovered the specs, and collectively gasped in delight...)

As E-Day approached, the discussions among everyone in our area became more focused, with people wondering where to get the best unobstructed view of the sky, how traffic was going to be during the hours of the heavenly show…and whether the eyewear they planned to use was adequate to safeguard their vision while they tried to enjoy the rare occurrence in the stratosphere. (Not everyone obtained their gear from friends with advanced degrees in science-related fields, as we did…we were just the super-lucky ones!)

In the end, three-fourths of our little clan opted to watch from the comfort of our own front yard, basically. Derek, on the other hand, asked Husband if he could accompany some of his buddies to Kenan Stadium (the football venue on UNC’s campus) to hang out and catch the action. When his father asked him why he wanted to do this, the teenager glibly replied, “You know…an iconic location for an iconic event!” Apparently Husband responded with a skeptical expression, prompting Derek to admit, “Yeah, not really….it was all Rick’s idea.” (Yeeeeaaaahhh, that explains a lot, since historically, a number of the friend group’s…questionable notions…can be traced to this particular individual’s--ahem--“brainstorms”.)

Husband eventually gave him permission to go, but asked how Derek intended to actually watch the eclipse unfold. “We’ll make a viewer out of a cereal box. Rick found a video that showed how to do it on YouTube!” Derek brightly assured him. Far from alleviating his concerns, however, this statement alarmed Husband enough that he immediately offered Derek one of our pairs of glasses instead. I mean, stop and think about it for a second: did he truly expect us to trust the…crafting talents…much less direction-following abilities…possessed by a pack of adolescent boys? (Pffftt…puh-lease…)

At last, after much anticipation, the hour arrived, and the moon commenced its slow march towards blocking its bigger, brighter solar-system-cousin. And overall, it was…pretty cool…if a bit…underwhelming. We honestly kind of expected it to get much darker, but the effect was more like late afternoon, or maybe twilight, than full-on nighttime. It did create some awesome shadows, which we had a chance to appreciate while loitering in the road, admiring the free-of-charge, public access “space programming”.


In other words, to get an idea of what “totality” actually looked like, we had to rely on news coverage from the Pacific Northwest, or a bit further south of here….which I have to admit, was utterly awe-inspiring, and I get why people wanted so badly to experience it in person. But hey, at least we got to say we were around for a “near-total eclipse”, right? AND, we didn’t get stuck in horrific gridlock returning home from our eclipse-chasing-adventures, as I heard from a number of my pals. Finally, of course, our peepers are still healthy after we faithfully utilized our uber-stylish wedding favors.

To sum up: it may not have been mind-blowing, but I’m gonna go ahead and call it a Win. Besides, the next one that comes anywhere close is set to pass over a few states away, in 2024. Gives us plenty of time to put together a road trip, yeah? Hmm…(begins scheming…stay tuned!)

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