New horizons...

Well, despite my best efforts at avoidance, I suppose it had to happen eventually. The train I'd been hanging out on all Summer finally pulled out of the station where it had been parked...at the lovely little depot called Denial, and began the journey toward its ultimate destination...um...Kid in College...Town. Last Sunday, there was no more stalling--the car had to be loaded, the farewells said, and half of Team WestEnders had to hit the road, to deposit one of its members at the University of South Carolina.

That is, of course, after the inevitable 11th-hour maelstrom of packing, including such categories as "Don't forget!" (your shaver, new toothbrushes, lens wipes, etc.) and "Do you need?" (e.g. packs of tissues, curtains, a broom). But then Derek and I finally pulled out of the driveway and got underway, and the whole thing became just a little bit more...REAL. Derek admitted that it hadn't completely sunk in for him yet, even though the previous couple of days he'd been slowly realizing that he was actually leaving, and had gotten just a little bit nostalgic because of it. He said that the "lasts" suddenly seemed to start piling up..."last time hanging out with the guys for a while", "last time sleeping in my own bed until Thanksgiving"...all the little things he thought about missing while he was away.

Speaking of which, this would be the final time he and I would be driving somewhere together, plus spending one-on-one time, for at least several months, so there were definitely a whole lotta feels going on for me as well...which I firmly squashed down so I could continue to function as a helpful parent on this field trip, rather than disintegrating into a blubbering puddle. (I planned to postpone THAT gigantic mess until later, to be unleashed at a more convenient time....) So we chatted through rural North and South Carolina, and I soaked up all the Derek witticisms and sports commentary and entertaining anecdotes that I could, to tuck them away in my memory bank while he's off at school.

We made ourselves comfortable in our hotel room that evening, hoping to get a good night's rest before Monumental Move-In Monday (not its real name...but I like it, so I think this just became what I call it from now on). This being our first time, we weren't exactly sure, you know...what to do...where to go...or anything else, for that matter. Derek admitted that the uncertainty of the situation was making him anxious, but for once, I was able to remain the calm, unperturbed one. (Contain your skepticism--it does happen...every once in a while!) Eh, I just figured that the university has done this a time or two and knows how to handle it, and that they would provide plenty of assistance to shepherd newbies like us through the process.

And you know what? That's exactly what happened. We simply drove to the campus at our appointed time, pulled into an open parking spot as directed by a friendly, efficient coed, and transferred Derek's belongings from the Subaru to a shady spot on the lawn in front of the building, (which incidentally took all of about, oh, 90 seconds, given the remarkably compact amount of stuff he brought along with him to his new home). While we contemplated our next step, I took a moment to look around, and my eyes found a very familiar group of people standing a few feet away. It was a family that we used to live down the street from...in Maryland. Seriously, Derek and their new Freshman went to PRESCHOOL together--and now, not only were they attending the same college, but they'd be living a couple of floors away from each other in the dorm. Wild.

So, the guys went off together to stand in the key-retrieval line, and the parents (I'm gonna call them The Ms) and I caught up on life...and whatnot. Then Derek and I made our way over to the lengthy elevator queue, where for the next while we performed an intricate choreography of sliding our pile forward a few feet at a time, in sections, which was all we could handle with our 2-person crew. (Memo to me for next year: an extra body would have come in verrrry handy for this particular task...) However, it would have taken us even longer, had Mr. M and his older son not seen us struggling, and offered to take some of the load off our hands. And by that, I mean that they each grabbed several of the oversized Ziploc bags, and took them up to Derek's room...using the STAIRS. Oh, and did I forget to mention that Derek resides on the 13th floor? (These were my new heroes, y'all...and I totally owe them a tall, frosty drink-of-choice the next time I see them...)

Once we arrived at the right hallway, it was an easy matter to shift everything inside, where we immediately came face-to-face with the new roommate--and his clan--for the first time. Introductions were made, pleasantries were exchanged, and then the real business of getting set up began in earnest. It honestly took very little time to arrange Derek's possessions, given both the quantity of what he brought with him, and the limited options for stowing them in a small 2-person domicile. His roommate, however, easily had three times as much to deal with...having brought such items as wall hangings, small pieces of furniture, and a flat screen TV to go along with his clothes, bedding, and toiletries.

It wasn't at all surprising that the organizing hubbub afforded us ample opportunity to identify items that we either hadn't thought about bringing, or had outright forgotten...making it abundantly clear that a trip to Target loomed in our  near future. However, I informed Derek that before we could address that chore, I would be needing sustenance, lest he find himself tending to a mother who'd passed out on the floor of his new bedroom due to low blood sugar. (Certainly NOT the ambiance he was looking for,...as if he were even familiar with the concept...but you know what I mean...) Fortunately, there's a small dining hall in his dorm, so we made our way downstairs for a quick lunch. (And Derek used his Carolina Card for the very first meal swipe of his college career....sniffle....)

Tangent alert: as we ate, I noticed another student and his father, who was giving me kind of an odd look, like he wanted to say something. I chalked it up to the Orioles shirt I'd chosen to wear that day, since several folks had already stopped me and commented on it. Sure enough, as I passed their table on the way to go refill my soda, the kid stopped me and asked if we were from Maryland. When I confirmed that we were, he followed up with "Where?" Now, normally I don't lead off with "Olney", because many people haven't heard of it, which means I just have to backpeddle and name another city. But this time I went for it, and the young man instantly exclaimed, "No s@#t!" Um...no? As it turns out, they live a couple of streets away from our old house. Apparently, Olney is well-represented in Gamecock Nation. Who knew?

Okay, back to the main plot...after we were fueled up and ready to plow ahead, we tackled the next agenda item: the bookstore. Happily, it proved to be fairly quick and painless to pick up his pre-ordered set of texts. About this time--since it was getting to be late afternoon at this point--he turned to me and apologized for how long everything was taking. "I'll understand if you need to go," he said ...but I assured him that as far as I was concerned, this was my only obligation for the day, and I wouldn't leave until we were both satisfied that he was all settled in.

Besides, as you can guess, I wasn't quite ready to let go just yet. (I know, right: shocker!) And apparently the thought had occurred to him as well, because in one of our conversations while strolling around campus, he mused, "I think it's all gonna hit me when you leave. Up to now, you've always been around, but when you go, I'll really be on my own for the first time, and it's gonna be weird." He admitted that the one thing he'd been feeling a little nervous about was starting over, meeting people, and making friends. "But then I realized," he added, "that I've already done that before, so it's no big deal!" (Yeah--about picking you up and relocating you to NC...you're welcome!)

From there, we decided to get the Target run out of the way...that is, us, along with half of the student body  population, evidently (which included running into the Ms again, amusingly, and also a guy that Derek had met and bonded with at Orientation, so it was a productive and social endeavor all-around). Having obtained a plethora of SNACKS (and by the way, how did we manage not to send those with him? Inconceivable...) and a few necessary staples for dorm living (toilet paper--didn't even occur to us that he'd need to supply that himself), we deemed our To Do List...completed.

Which meant that the moment I'd been dreading with all my heart had finally materialized...when I'd have to say goodbye to my oldest "baby", turn around and walk away...leaving him to fend for himself, and me to make the excruciating, heart-rending trek back to Chapel Hill without him. Being so busy all day, I'd made it that far without shedding a single tear (for which I was sooooo proud of myself, I'm not gonna lie). But now, hugging him one last time, hearing his parting "Thanks, Mom; I couldn't have done it without you"...the floodgates threatened to open. However, I swore I wasn't going to be THAT mom, who started sobbing in front of her kid, or caused a scene by crying all the way back to the parking garage. So I held it together...just until I was safely in the car, and then all bets were off. Let's just say the 4-hours home turned out to be just as awful as I'd anticipated.

And I know, I know--it's the next step in all of our lives, and it's a good thing, and we wouldn't want to stay stuck the same way forever, blah blah blah. Intellectually, I get all of that...it's just that it doesn't quite ease the emotional trauma of separation...not yet, anyway. Right now it feels like there's a suspiciously Derek-sized gap in our little tribe. But as he adapts to his new environment of higher education, we'll adjust on the homefront...and keep his spot open until he comes back to fill it for Turkey-Day-Weekend. Until then, we'll make do with texts (enough to keep in touch, not so many as to be a Parental Pill), weekly phone calls...and LOTS of chocolate...for therapeutic
purposes only, you understand!