Vancouver Grand Finale (Part Un)

Our very last day in Vancouver! And keeping with our well-established pattern, it was time to experience the Great Outdoors one more time. Also as usual, Husband researched and selected today's hiking odyssey: Crooked Falls, which lies between Squamish and Whistler, north of the city. He touted it as "similar in intensity and spectacular scenery to the Canyon Rim excursion [we took several days ago]". Translated into Team WestEnders speak, this meant that we should mentally and physically prepare ourselves for several hours of tough trekking.

But first, there was another item on the Must Do List that we absolutely had to check off before we could even consider bidding Canada adieu: a visit to Tim Horton's...or as Derek immediately dubbed it upon entering the country...Timmy Ho's. (Yes, I know it's ridiculous...but somehow all 4 of us found it hilarious...so it became instant family lingo.) As luck would have it, we would pass one on the way out of town, allowing us to procure java and breakfast for the road. Caffeine and calorie needs, met!

Then we settled in for another winding, hilly drive to our destination, just over an hour and a half up Route 99. And for much of that, I'd call it a routine jaunt...albeit with stunning vistas of mountains and Howe Sound off to the left, to help the time fly. However...the final set of directions that Husband had printed from whatever website he used to find our target trail seemed...just a tad...sketchy, let's say. It was all well and good when we turned off the highway onto a regular side road. Then it became a gravel...lane, with one-way bridges, one of which appeared to consist solely of wooden planks nailed together and placed precariously over the water below.

Just when I'd made a joke about "Dad taking us somewhere he could dump our bodies, so they'd never be found" (Don't worry, this is a common expression in our household. It just means a remote location...NOT murderous intentions...) we came upon the sign warning us about...Grizzlies. Oh. Good. Grief. What the HECK were we getting ourselves into? And finally, the instructions told us to "park by the side of the road, and follow the path that began...next to a telephone pole." Oh, because that doesn't sound suspicious at all, right? Suuure, let's march off into the uncharted wilderness, looking like bear food, and act like we know where we're going. What could possibly go wrong?

Yep, that's the...trail...ish...

Well, we were about to find out...since we'd already spent our morning getting there, after all. We grabbed our gear, crossed our fingers, took a deep breath, and headed...straight uphill. As in "legs pumping, heart pounding, breathing too hard to talk". But this certainly isn't anything we haven't done before, so we felt confident we could handle it. That is, until we reached a stony outcropping we had to scale...and I almost suffered a mini-freakout moment. I mean, in my defense, my limbs are significantly shorter than the Male Trios'...and...um...my bulky camera bag sometimes throws off my center of gravity....and, I don't know, maybe I just hadn't fully realized this was going to be THAT kind of stroll. But I'll admit that it took me a minute to wrap my head around the fact that I had to go up and over, figuring out hand and foot holds and pulling myself along...and then I got over myself and did it, and we continued merrily along.
It's a darn good thing, too...because that was just the first--and smallest--pile of boulders we encountered on our little walk in the woods. In some parts, the trail consisted of soft pine needles and dirt...and in others, it would abruptly become a steep field of rocks that we'd have to scramble over, using arms and legs for propulsion and balance. Oh, and even when it was relatively smooth, it was one of those situations where I try diligently NOT to look to the left of the very narrow walkway, at the sheer dropoff that awaits if you slip. New motto for life: eyes forward...and don't look down! (Yeeeaaah, that should be applicable in all kinds of situations, right? Or whatever...)

It was during one of these moments that an uncharitable notion popped into my head...about Husband's questionable choices regarding our recreational activities while we're supposedly ON VACATION, for crying out loud. I swear, no sooner had I acknowledged this thought than he turned around and laughed, "Am I ever going to be allowed to plan our excursions again?" It was eerie, I tell ya. But it didn't stop me from yelling, "Nope! You're totally fired!" (Hmm, not a shining example of marriage conversation, to be sure. But on the plus side, it was probably loud enough to scare off any hungry wildlife. So, you're welcome, fam...)

Except that...only a short time later we came upon a landscape that instantly made the whole thing 100% worth it--a sweeping view of the Squamish Valley that left us practically speechless with awe. And then, about 2 hours after we stepped onto the trail, we achieved the ultimate payoff, when we arrived at the stunning waterfall that lends the hike its name. Bonus: the spray from the rushing, tumbling liquid, combined with the temperature drop from the elevation we'd gained, acted as nature's air-conditioning, and cooled us down nicely after all our effort.

After enjoying the splendor (and equally as appealing, the respite from moving) for a while, we faced our next task...getting all the way back down to the car. (Siiighhhh....) But honestly, it wasn't too bad--especially knowing that every step at that point led us closer to...you guessed it: lunch. Since I had plenty of time to think about it while carefully picking my way downhill, I made the executive decision that we'd try another local institution that we'd heard about, a chain called White Spot. I'd seen one in Squamish during our travels in the morning, so we agreed to give it a shot. The short review: we enjoyed a super-tasty meal, and all gave it a hearty thumbs-up.

From there, believe it or not, we actually had one final stop to make on our way back to the condo. (Because yes, we ARE gluttons for punishment, apparently...) But right now I'm exhausted from all these antics, and we have to get up hella early tomorrow to fly back to the East Coast, so the rest of the tale will have to wait for another day. (Don't hold your breath! I'll get to it soon, I promise!)

Aaannnnd, to be continued...