Another Conversational Whirlpool

Well, we survived the two-day Math Offensive (yes, our "reward" for conquering Mean, Median, and Mode was apparently the honor of tackling Stem-and-Leaf Plots and Box-and-Whisker graphs. Seriously? Show me the Statistical Supervillain who makes this nonsense up! I'd like to shove a pencil right in his...Central Tendency...) Anyway, with all that behind us, I foolishly thought we could just have a nice family breakfast, filled with casual small talk rather than brain-hurting educational terms. Do "normal" families sit around the table and comment on the weather forecast, or what to wear to school that day, or how the O's played last night? I wouldn't know. Our mealtime conversation began with Riley asking, "When our aunt gets married, do we have to dress up for her wedding? 'Cuz I'm wearing jeans!" (By the way, NO IDEA where this came from. Just call him Random Riley.)

Okay, so much for the planned early-morning lighthearted chat over cereal. As usual, it was about to get much worse. Riley proceeded to announce with conviction that when he grows up, he might just marry his cousin Haley. (It is unclear whether he was motivated by the fact that he believed this would excuse him from Formal Wear.) Uh oh. I breezily informed him that this would not be possible. (silently praying that he would drop it...yeah, right) "Why not?" he innocently wondered. "Cousins have the same genes," I began with very good intentions, only to be halted unceremoniously by the sudden snorts of laughter from both boys. Momentarily confused, I paused to figure out what was so darned funny..."NOT j-e-a-n-s like pants; g-e-n-e-s that you have inside your body!" "Oooohhhhh!" Riley giggled. I gamely tried to soldier on: "Your genes determine what you look like..." (still snickering)..."Since cousins share some of the same genes, it's a bad idea to mix them up..." And, at this point, they completely lost their tenuous grasp on control. Clutching their sides, gasping incoherently about "cousins sharing genes (jeans)" and "cousins getting their genes (jeans) mixed up", hiccuping with laughter.

So I gave up on the Biology Breakfast talk, and took my coffee to another room (to drink it in dignified silence). Maybe tomorrow, I can find myself a "normal" family who will take pity on me and invite me to eat at their house! Can't wait to talk about the blessedly-boring old weather...