(Grown-Up) Bathroom Talk

My life right now revolves around the Epic Bathroom Remodel. I suppose it really all started this summer, as Husband and I pondered and discussed going forward with the project. Then there was the hypothetical spending of money, (followed by the whimpering with pain as the Total Potential Investment climbed higher and higher...immediately after which came hysterical bargaining: we don't really NEED that many toilets in the house, right? The kids can just go to Community College, yes? And retirement is overrated, I'm sure!) Which is why we are undertaking the actual process months after it began, having done some realistic budgeting in the meantime.

Now, the real adventure begins. My week got underway in a hurry on Monday morning, when I was awakened by the melodic pealing of the doorbell...at 7:35 a.m. (Okay, I was technically awake, but still wrapped between the fuzzy flannel sheets in my darkened bedroom.) Blearily I rolled out of bed and greeted my beaming, almost-revoltingly-chipper Contractor at the door. "We didn't notice how early it was!" he apologized. "We can wait in the driveway until 8 if you want!" I mumbled something about getting dressed, and then let him in. While he and his guys hauled in their tools, set up their work area, and prepped for the day, I rousted the other hibernating creatures (aka: the boys) and fed them. Shortly thereafter the most goshawful racket commenced. There was banging on walls, shrieking of power tools, crashing of tiles...and every so often I'd look up to see a piece of my shower heading out the door on a Workman's back. (They never failed to smile at me politely as they went by...I couldn't help but wonder if they were thinking, "Hey, lady, we're having a BLAST wrecking your bathroom!")

Fortunately, I got to escape the madness by going to my own job that day. Even the Montgomery College campus, teeming with noisy, boisterous students, seemed so peaceful by comparison! When I returned home over 6 hours later, they seemed to have made a great deal of headway in the destructive process. (Um...nice going?) The only true inconvenience was that they had to turn the water off while they manipulated the pipes. And I was...so... parched! (amazing how much thirstier you feel when there's no possibility of having a cool drink of water...is it too early for a cocktail?) And the crashing, sawing, etc. continued, all overlaid by an acrid, smoky smell. Wait, is something burning? Is there supposed to be fire involved? Before I had time to fully panic, they rolled up their tarps, de-plastic-wrapped my bedroom, and quietly departed for the day (with the house still intact, apparently).

The next morning I was ready for them--up and presentable when the crew appeared at the much-more-decent hour of 8 a.m.  After shuffling the kids off to school, I prepared myself to storm Home Depot once more. My mission: an elusive Shower Curtain Rod. (Because, you know, I had already spent over a thousand dollars on "accessories" to outfit a 5x5 bathroom, so what's one more charge, right?) Oh, and the Medicine Cabinet that I had chosen was cracked already, in the box, so that had to be exchanged as well. (and perhaps I should take the opportunity to choose a better-made product, yes?) Okay, here I go! I've located the Shower Curtain Rods! They have white! And chrome! But each and every one of the fixtures I have already selected and purchased is: Brushed freakin' Nickel! And everything MUST match or it'll look totally stupid! I'm hyperventilating! So, a few deep, calming breaths later, I am able to move on. You'll be relieved to hear that the Medicine Cabinet decision was not nearly as traumatic. Now, with the exception of a few more very minor details, I just have to stay out of their way and let the magical Bathroom Transformation happen...

Whew, what a week! Oh no...it's...only...Tuesday! (Somebody get me that cocktail now, please...)