Update: Girls are still ICKY!

Being the lone Female in a house otherwise occupied by a small-but-rowdy Boys Club has had many implications over the years. For example, it never fails to astonish me how much of my behavior--which to me seems quite reasonable and transparent--gets treated with a puzzled look, followed immediately by a knowing nod and the catchphrase that has become standard on such occasions: "It must be a Girl Thing." (Apparently, women are much more mysterious than I could have imagined. I have found that this often works in my favor, though, such as when I express an intense craving for chocolate, or buy a new purse, or demand a few minutes of peace and quiet. All of these are accepted under the umbrella of "Girl Things".)

However, Derek and I recently had a discussion that proved just how deeply cloaked-in-secrecy the Fairer Sex really is to an adolescent boy. It started when I went into his room to check whether he needed a replacement for his deodorant, since I was planning to go to Target the next day. "Can I get a different kind when I run out of this one?" he requested. (I had gotten him Unscented for his first Test Run in the complex world of body-odor-reduction products.) "Sure, honey, you can choose anything Tom's offers." "Why does it have to be Tom's?" he wondered. "Because it's natural and doesn't contain potentially-harmful chemicals to smear on your skin," I responded. With an impish grin, he tried, "How about Axe?" Um, how shall I put this? Absolutely. NOT. "Why?" he persisted. "Do you want to attract chicks?" I shot back, "Because that's what it's for!" He looked appalled and quickly said, "No way, forget about it!" (Yeah, that's what I thought...) But of course he wasn't done yet: "I could use Old Spice, to be 'fresh, fresher, freshest'!" Okay, that's it, no more commercials for you! (They've been watching a truly prodigious amount of Fox Soccer Channel lately, and evidently, people who do that are...stinky...and in the market for deodorant!) So he made one more attempt-- "What about Speed Stick; that's what Dad buys." "Sorry, buddy, it has chemicals too", I regretfully informed him. "But wait," he asked with a confused expression, "why is it okay for Dad?" "Well, Dad and I are older, and not so worried about the ingredients we put in our armpits anymore," I (somewhat sheepishly) confessed.

At this point I thought our heartwarming little Mother/Son talk was over, and I was about to leave his room when he suddenly burst out with, "Wait, YOU use deodorant?" in a tone of utter incredulity. Well...yes...you'e seen me sweaty after working out...and just why do you ask? "But...I thought girls didn't smell!" he sputtered. (Which, now that I think about it, means my own personal antiperspirant/deodorant choice must be effective...Good news!) I barely had time to break into hysterical laughter at his outraged tone and indignant expression before he finished with a vehement, "EWWW! I'm never dating!"

So I have to chalk this one up as a big Win on the Parental Scoreboard (because I have one of those, you know...at least in my head). Not only does Mom smell like roses, but Other Girls just got even grosser. High fives all around for Team WestEnders!