Thursday, July 12, 2012

Rant and Ride


It’s pretty much a universally-accepted fact that maintaining a healthy lifestyle requires commitment, hard work, and dedication. I would add that sometimes, you also need flexible, on-your-feet thinking and a good, solid Plan B. And occasionally—today, for instance—one’s definition of “keeping fit” must be expanded, to incorporate…an intensive bout of screaming…and some very focused swearing.
My original agenda didn’t involve any of these things, of course. It was just to be a simple endeavor: stow bike in car, drive to Bethesda, ride Capital Crescent Trail to Georgetown and back. I’ve done this before with no trouble at all, but I knew I had at least one small glitch to contend with this time—my preferred parking lot at the head of the trail had been demolished and I’d have to find somewhere else to leave the Subaru for a few hours. But still, I didn’t anticipate any problems; Bethesda boasts numerous garages, and surely parking in one of them would be a breeze (she thought naively). I didn’t even bother getting quarters, because for at least the last several years, every parking facility I’ve visited has used an upgraded system by which you could pay with a credit card.  (And really, plunking coins into a meter? Antiquated! That’s so…20th century…like placing a call on a pay phone…) But heck, I was so organized, I even had some CASH for once: Just. In. Case.

I sound impressively prepared, right? Well…my first glimmer that all was not going to proceed smoothly—that is, “according to my brilliant schedule”--occurred before I even reached my destination. Little did I know that, in order to arrive in downtown Bethesda, you must first pass through what can only be described as Traffic Hell.  Evidently, I’d blocked out of my mind from past excursions just how many freakin’ cars…and stoplights…Bethesda has. But it all came rushing back to me pretty quickly as I—and hundreds of my fellow drivers—inched forward a few feet at a time, trying to pass through signals that remained green for approximately 10 seconds a cycle. So after a delightful interlude of creeping and cursing, I finally achieved my goal: a Public Parking Garage. See all those beautiful empty spaces? And look at those…meters…that only accept quarters…are you KIDDING me? Oh wait, not to worry, you have one other option—you can download an app that lets you pay with your phone. That is, IF you can receive a signal…completely enclosed inside a concrete structure…yes, this is where the aerobic training (frustrated shouting…of aforementioned colorful vocabulary) and cardio workout (heart rate climbing due to angry stamping of feet and waving of arms) truly began. Consider it my warmup, I suppose.

At this point my choices as I saw them were: A. leave the garage to purchase an unnecessary item from a nearby shopkeeper and beg them to make change for me or B. exit the garage to download the stupid program…which may or may not function properly on my phone anyway. However, while standing there fuming in that blasted garage, I devised a third course of action I hadn’t considered previously. Let’s call it the “Heck with you, Bethesda” alternative. This called for abandoning the current unfriendly environment to retrace my steps by just a few miles, back to a section of lovely Rock Creek Park, where I could pull my car into any number of available, no-cost, shady roadside spots. Then, at last, I was free to hop on my bicycle and roll for miles along a pleasant, paved path…no muss, no fuss…and no quarters necessary!

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