Saturday, December 7, 2013

A lot of trouble, from a little toe

Do you think that after a relatively accident-free life, in which one is blessed (and very very grateful, if the universe is listening!) by the absence of fractured bones, unexpected mishaps, and random freak can all begin to catch up to you? Because this is turning out to be my year for...weird, unfortunate events. The latest episode transpired on Friday, at about 8:30 a.m. Why do I recall the time so exactly? Because I was trying to accomplish "just one more thing" in the kitchen before hustling my butt upstairs (where I really ought to have been already) to get dressed and prepare for work. And it was that final task--that I was rushing to finish--which led to my downfall. You see, I wanted to sharpen a pencil, (gosh, that sounds sooooo stupid after the fact...what was I thinking?) probably to add another item to my never-ending To Do List. Our electric sharpener has a separate huge, heavy plug, (for reasons that remain unknown to me--how much power could it possibly need? overkill, I tell ya...) and in juggling the two parts, I managed to drop it...directly...and exclusively...on my left pinkie toe.

Well, cue the immediate aaaaagonyyyy. Honestly (not counting childbirth, which is in a whole 'nother class, obviously) I can't remember when anything has caused me that much sheer torment. Then some yelling ensued. (Mostly the extremely articulate: "OWWWWWWWW"...repeatedly....) There were even tears. Riley was the only one home with me at the time, and since I don't think he's ever actually witnessed me crying ('cuz, yeah, I just...don't) I think I traumatized the poor baby. After I got it together--marginally--I limped up the steps to proceed with my toiletry. (The mental processes weren't functioning too well by that point, as you can tell.) My first reality check came, however, when I faced the suddenly-Herculean task of: donning socks and shoes. Uh-oh. "Um, let's drive to the bus stop, honey," I suggested through gritted teeth, hobbling towards the car as Riley watched me with a doubtful expression.

And what happened after he was safely delivered to the bus? I continued on to my place of employment, of course. ..operating the clutch in my manual transmission vehicle verrrrry gingerly...and with large amounts of gasping and muttering. (Sometimes I'm so smart, I scare myself...this is NOT an example...) Once I had a chance to sit down and prop up my foot, I busied myself Googling "broken toe" (since I'm also a medical expert, and can self-diagnose with the best of them--ha!)...and texting a vivid photo to Husband, as he works with bonafide MDs, who might have some reliable, helpful advice. (Aren't we a cute couple? Anyone can send racy pictures, but we're...never mind, let's just go with "strange"...) I didn't think there was really much you could do for it, and both sources confirmed this. Just the time-honored wisdom of RICE (Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate), which I commenced as soon as possible. (You know, after I wore excruciating footwear for most of the day, standing and walking around for hours doing my job...then I went home and treated the injury. Sigh. Like I said: brilliant, right?)

By the time I returned to the house, the swelling and bruising had both noticeably worsened. Hmm, how to describe it...the toe itself was a puffy, misshapen, eggplant-colored...mess. The purple stain reached all the way around the digit, as well as halfway down my foot toward the ankle. On the plus side (I suppose) when I showed it to Derek he noted after a moment's reflection, "Well, at least it's...Ravens color!" (Gee...thanks, son...) I finally wrapped it as best I could with gauze and tape, popped some ibuprofen, and planted myself in a chair for as much of the remainder of the evening as I could.

The good news is that today when I woke up the swelling actually seemed to have decreased a bit and the appearance...well, let's just say it isn't any...uglier. I can't voluntarily move the toe itself due to its sheer size right now, but when I manipulate it to change the bandage it doesn't increase the "ouch factor" at all. So I'm cautiously optimistic that maybe it's merely...extraordinarily bruised, but not broken. (Naturally I'm even more qualified than I was yesterday, given my new experience, to make these determinations...) And hey, speaking of silver linings, I had a 100% legitimate excuse to pawn off one of my least favorite chores. That's right, I sent the Male Posse to the grocery store...on a weekend....right before a potential snow and ice storm is forecast to arrive...MWAH HAH HAH! Oh yeah, I wonder who was hurting more, right about then? But all kidding aside, I have high hopes that the healing will continue to progress, and that I'll be back to my "regular activities" in no time. After all, I have dance class to attend...on Monday night! (Fingers crossed...but not toes!!)

No comments: