Sunday, November 4, 2018

Haunting...and Humor...on Halloween 2018

Even though my boys have well passed the "adorable costume and trick-or-treat" phase, I still have a soft spot for Halloween. And in our neighborhood, it's clear that other people feel the same way--up and down every street you see spooky lights, spiderweb-draped porches, inflatable yard-monsters, intricately carved jack-o-lanterns, and grinning skeletons in a variety of menacing...or amusing...poses. I mean, folks do it up All. The. Way, y'all...and it's A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

This year, without his designated Pumpkin Buddy (or, you know, "Derek", as we like to informally call him), Husband took on the sculpting duties himself. He opted for a style I'll describe as "simple yet expressive", and I think they came out quite well. (Several impressively polite candy-seekers actually complimented them when they arrived at the door. Extra sweets for you, lovely children!)

Then, in a calculated...um..."diplomatic appeasement maneuver?"...he took the innards of said winter squash and placed them strategically in an accessible spot behind the house...as enticing deer snacks. You might recall that last October the dratted...vegetarian poachers...sauntered cheekily up to the front door to munch on the carved ones...while they were still installed as Halloween decorations...RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES. So Husband figured he'd just go ahead and give the bold beasts a preemptive offering--and possibly prevent them from...storming the keep for their supper...or whatever. (Thus far it seems to be working: November 3rd, and our little orange pals are still intact; meanwhile, the back yard buffet...has been completely demolished. Mission accomplished!)

Next, in an effort to include our college son in the festivities, I wrapped up a care package for him and sent it to his post office box at the university. The way it works is that when a box arrives, they send an email to the student, informing them that they have something to pick up. So, during our conversation last Sunday I asked if Derek had enjoyed his surprises...to which he professed ignorance...since he hadn't bothered to respond to the summons and actually retrieve the goodies. Siiiighhh...well, I suppose it was smart of me to select only non-perishable edibles, yeah? (Eh, he's still new at this--I have faith that he'll get the hang of it...eventually...)

And in an exciting development, I was able to participate in our office's group costume (which I'd missed several previous years, when the sharing time fell outside my work hours). This year someone suggested the brilliant possibility of each person representing something unique to North Carolina. The ideas started flowing from there--a lighthouse, moonshine, the Durham Bulls' mascot, Duke and UNC fans, the Triangle. I didn't have my own lightbulb moment until the afternoon of the 30th, when it occurred to me that one particular town in our immediate region was in danger of being left out of the fun...so I took it upon myself to illustrate Carrboro--Chapel Hill's funky, artsy, earthy next-door neighbor.

Once inspiration struck me, it was so easy to imagine the props I'd need: organic, fair trade coffee in a reusable mug (naturally....ha!); vegan, gluten-free snacks; a yoga mat for my peaceful, centering practice; my cloth bag to pick up local produce at the Weaver Street Market co-op; and of course a clipboard so I can gather signatures for a variety of environmentally conscious causes. And to further personify the part--while I wasn't quite committed enough to rush out for any tattoos or piercings--I bought a can of temporary hair color to add sassy purple streaks to my tresses. Aaaannnd...modern flower child, DONE!

I have to admit that I was inordinately pleased with myself over this--and while I assumed that no one in the Bethesda or Minnesota branches would understand it completely, I knew my  office-mates would get a big kick out of it, which was good enough for me. And as an undeniable bonus: it was sure to absolutely horrify my kids...so count that as a TOTAL WIN as well.

Therefore I set off for ye olde place of business in high spirits (ha! I swear, I'm not planning these today, they're just happening)...and the reaction when I showed up did not disappoint, either. First there were the hoped-for giggles, and nods of comprehension. And also hilarious, helpful suggestions for how to authenticate my character even further, such as "You could practice tai chi in the lobby/set up an easel and paint something!" Or my personal favorite, delivered with an earnest, thoughtful tone that implied she wasn't even really kidding about this, "I feel like...you should be riding your bike up and down the hallways, instead of walking." (All GREAT aspects of Carrboro...which definitely lie outside of my talents and/or comfort level! Except the bicycle, of course...which unfortunately is a safety hazard that HR would surely fail to appreciate...)

Anyway, at showtime, as it were, we connected with our colleagues in the other locations to see what others had concocted...and let me just tell you, as if I needed any further evidence of this: our company is chock full of creative, funny nerds, my friends. (And you know I mean that in the most positive and supportive of ways, right? Also "pot/kettle", yeah, yeah...) In the end, the NC office proudly accepted 2nd place...and then celebrated our victory by getting all sugared up, thanks to a plethora of tasty offerings people had brought in to share. (Mmmm....)

Finally, later that evening we hosted a few trick-or-treaters, but we've noticed that some of the Halloween wanderers--especially the very young--tend to pass by our driveway without attempting its steep slope. I know it's a bit of effort for the uncertain payoff--unless we were to advertise down by the mailbox, they can't know for certain that we're giving away quality yummies. (But we ARE! I promise you that I only buy stuff I would eat, and I'm super-picky!) But it seems like every year Husband and I have lamented the fact that we don't get more traffic.

And then the amazing solution was revealed to me when I drove through the neighborhood to pick up Riley at a friend's house (which was a LOT harder than it sounds, incidentally: avoiding roving packs of young people weaving through the center of the roadway like they'd suddenly forgotten everything they ever knew about how to use a sidewalk...or were waaaayyyy over the legal limit for glucose consumption...ay yi yi...). I  passed multiple houses at which the parental-type-people had stationed themselves in lawn chairs next to the street...with an adult beverage in one hand, and a bowl full of sweets waiting to be passed out in the other.

Oh. My. Word. Is this the freakin' perfect setup, or WHAT? To sum up: these folks are my new heroes, and we're copying the heck out of them next year. Unless it's raining...then we'll just eat all the fun-size candy bars ourselves. (Do me a favor and forget I ever said that, 'kay? Thanks...)

In conclusion, I leave you with the card I found for Riley, who has for most of his life been enamored with amphibians . It's admittedly terrible, but it made him literally laugh out loud first thing in the morning on the 31st, so that's all you can really ask. And with that, I pronounce that the Holiday Season has officially begun--let's commence the sugar detox...and move right along to the Turkey Day Countdown, shall we? Whoo hoo!

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