Hey, fellow
humans out there on Planet Earth (waves hand in a vague but super-friendly
manner towards all of you)! According to the useless cardboard indicator still
hanging on my kitchen wall, it looks like we made through the first full month
of the alternate-reality video game we’re all trapped in together…Pandemic
World (1-star, NOT RECOMMENDED). At this point, don’t you think we deserve to
be honored with a freakin’ Black Tie Gala to acknowledge how we’re maintaining
our all-out assault on the vile microscopic enemy?
Hell yeah, we
do! Except of course without the, you know, “proximity to other people”.
Ooh, and who wants to dress up these days—or frankly, is even sure if
anything still fits after 6 weeks of excessive sheltering in place—and eating?
So yeah, comfy clothes only. (Fine, deck yourself out in a coordinated
outfit of black sweats if you want to feel all “glam”. The rest of us will set
the bar for…let’s see…yep, ”clean” should do it…) And makeup? Pshhhh,
that’s sooooo 2019, amiright? Okay…where does that leave us? Right: a VERY festive
global Zoom call to congratulate ourselves…probably on the couch…definitely
in leisurewear…100% with snacks. Whoo hoo, who’s in!?
Anyway,
speaking of celebrations that have been verrrry different in COVID-Era, like
Derek a couple of weeks ago, I kicked off another year around the sun…quarantine-style.
Now, I don’t usually indulge in a whole lot of hoopla on my birthday anyway,
but this particular milestone obviously was even lower-key than the norm. Not that
there weren’t lovely surprises—such as the completely unexpected giftbox,
filled with delicious fresh fruit and trail mixes (some of which included chocolate…I
mean, do they know me, or what?), sent by my fabulous northern
fam.
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| Working hard! |
Or the
hilarious cards the Male Trio cooked up, filled with sentiments such as “We’ll
even let you be in charge of the house today” (Riley), “Eat all of the kale
chips and almond butter your heart desires (Derek), and “Here’s a ‘never been
outside, untouched by other human hands, hasn’t been exposed to Coronavirus’ card
to wish you a germ-free happy birthday!” (Husband) (Ahem…bless their hearts…)
As for the traditional “dinner of choice”, we found ourselves in an unusual--yet
fortuitous--position: all 4 of us in the mood for pizza at the same
time. We will take that win, y’all…YUM!
Next, we have
several other entries in the category we’ll call…Where the HECK is the Time Going?
First, I got an official email notification that, because in-person meetings
are still suspended, this year’s presentation for Rising Seniors would be
offered in a virtual format, with the slides and videos viewable from your very
own home computer. It took me a second of staring at the screen to realize…they
were talking about Riley…who is now mere weeks away from finishing 11th
grade and (GULP) moving on to his last year of High School. What. The.
WHAT? I mean, I’m fully aware of this, obviously—and have for quite
a while. But the processing of it is going to take… a bit longer,
apparently.
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| And...hardly working! |
Thus he and I agreed
on a time to sit down and go through it together, just in case there were any
new pearls of wisdom to be gained since Derek navigated these waters several
years ago. And this was an admirable proposal in theory…except that what
actually happened was that Riley and I settled ourselves into position
near the office computer…and Derek wandered in behind us as well.
Evidently he had nothing better to do at the moment than hang out with
us and A) make light of the college application process (“Hey, I
got in; how hard could it be?”); B) disparage the information provided (“Ha!
Who cares? I never did figure out how to log into my Naviance account!”);
or C) distract Riley by chatting at him on a completely unrelated topic,
thereby ensuring that his attention wasn’t on the material, even a little bit. (“College
football, my Stats homework, what to eat for snack, blah blah blah” Siiiighhhhh…)
Oh well--while
this session didn’t turn out to be particularly…educational…I can always go
back and watch/read stuff later if necessary. Or better yet, if questions crop
up, I’ll assign the Junior to figure stuff out and report back to me—now that’s
a plan!
And then,
there’s the college dude, who’s been managing his messed up Spring semester in online-remote-learning
fashion—accessing his instruction modules, recorded lessons, and live
lectures when required, submitting assignments, taking tests, and whatnot. In
this novel setup, his LDOC (cool kid speak for Last Day of Classes. Or
maybe only Moms use it…I’m not really sure, to be honest…) came and went
without fanfare.
Now he’s in
the midst of Final Exam Week…albeit in its modified format. But here’s
the truly astonishing part—to me at least: on Tuesday, when he finishes his
last assessment…he’ll be halfway through his stint at the university. I…can’t
even begin to understand how this happened. (Yeah, yeah—I’m speaking metaphorically.
Because trust me, I have the receipts to demonstrate his progress
through each of the first 4 semesters, but I’d rather not dwell too much on that,
thankyouverymuch…)
Even more
mind-blowing, according to his transcript, he’s technically a semester ahead
of his scheduled graduation date, since he came in with some credits from AP
classes, carries a little extra in his major due to the labs associated with
science courses, and hasn’t had to drop anything so far (knocking on wood,
etc.). Not that we’re pushing him to finish up early, or anything crazy like that,
but Jeez, Louise!
It’s all just…a
bit overwhelming, is all I’m saying. So I think what I’m gonna do to
cope with all this…emotional distress…is put all that aside for the time being,
step away from the Disney+, change into some Outside Pants
(elastic waist soccer-type gear—very practical right about now!), and go
for a nice, long stroll in nature. Besides, that way when I get back I
will have earned some of that nuts-and-cocoa trail mix I mentioned (It’s…um…chock
full of antioxidants! Therefore it’s definitely health food. This
logic is infallible--fight me…) Uh-huh, that’s what we’re going with…can we all
agree that sometimes denial…and its equally esteemed cousin, avoidance…really
are the BEST self-care? Yay!
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