WestEnders Digest, Early June 2020

I’m going to kick off this week’s collection of random, unrelated, wandering thoughts (consider yourself warned) by sharing a couple of facts that are currently blowing my mind:

1. We’re only about 2 weeks away from the Summer solstice, and with it the official kickoff to the traditional season of fun and frolicking…sometimes including (now bear with me here) traveling and exploring other places! Remember that? Ah, those were the days, amiright? But seriously, is anyone else having difficulty remembering this year’s Spring? Did…did I miss it? And I couldn’t even say for sure that Winter happened at all, to be honest. Yeah, I know it was warmer than average, blah blah blah…but it’s also…a complete blur.

2. And while we’re on the subject, do you realize that at the end of this month we’ll be halfway through this godforsaken year? What. The. WHAT? I guess time flies when you’re…staying home and doing everything within your power to avoid an evil, deadly virus? All I can say is, let’s hope the next part of #$%@ 2020 represents a significant improvement over what’s been dealt so far.

And now, shifting gears to what’s actually been going on around here. (Spoiler alert: not that much, for obvious reasons!) First of all, the WestEnders’ celebration span continued with Husband’s birthday. Fortunately, he’s a man of simple tastes, so for his “special restaurant meal” he requested…takeout from Chipotle. Since the rest of us are fans as well, DONE.

Then there’s the small matter of gifts. The boys and I did our due diligence and asked him—on several separate occasions, mind you—what he might like. Each time our query was met with a classic “deer in the headlights” expression, and a stammered reply, something along the lines of, “Uh, well, I don’t know! I don’t really need anything!” Alrighty, then…I did manage to come up with an idea…but I confess it was only because I was thinking about the item for myself, and realized he might appreciate it as well. (A set of sheets made from some supposedly magical cooling material, to help keep one comfortable. He’s a notorious heat-producing organism who struggles nightly to regulate his temperature and sleep soundly, so this seemed like a no-brainer for sure.)

His beloved children, however…had other plans. You see, they took it upon themselves to scour Amazon for something that they deemed both hilarious, and utterly useless, to present to their father. Aaannd they came up with…the stuffed marlin pictured here. Why? I don’t know what to tell ya, folks…except that this is what happens when you have time on your hands, funds at your disposal, access to the Internet, and a goofy sense of humor. 

Husband was understandably…perplexed…by his odd package…and even more so by the accompanying sentiments they shared in their card. The first inscription involves an old inside joke that would be far too complicated (and absurd) to relay. But the second reads: “Birthdays are very cool; We forgot to bake a cake; Here is twenty cents”. Because for reasons known only to the two of them, they’re super into writing haikus whenever they’re asked to sign anything at the moment. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget that they’re 100% RIDICULOUS. (Also, I just re-counted and the first line has too many syllables, so: double dorkasauruses!)

Since we’ve moved into talking about them anyway, the other big event of this past week involved long-anticipated, much-needed haircuts for the two shaggy boys. As you can imagine, given the recent reopening of salon-type places, they had to work a bit harder than they normally do to achieve this goal. To wit: it took them 3 attempts before they were able to actually get into a chair and under a stylist’s scissors, due to extensive wait times caused by many other people wanting the same thing. After they returned home twice without having been shorn, they were determined to do whatever it took to close the deal…which turned out to be nothing more than patience and a willingness to stick it out. 

I also want to state for the record that I offered to—just this once, given the unusual circumstances—arrange actual appointments for them at a nicer establishment than they generally frequent, and even pay for it. This was greeted with a shrug and, “Eh, that’s okay. I don’t want to put that much effort into my hair” from Derek. And an emphatic, “ABSOLUTELY NOT” almost before I got the words out, from Riley. (Which when you think about it, is very on-brand, for both of them…) Anyway, they’re all nice and cleaned up for now—and hopefully the public health situation will continue to improve, so that by the next time they’re overgrown, the whole thing will be much easier!

And finally, my typical routine of the past week was broken up by donating blood at the Red Cross’s drive on UNC’s campus. It was a strange reason to visit the Dean Dome, but at least there were plenty of banners to read while I lounged on the table! Everything went smoothly, although I did wonder if the nurse who took my vitals recorded my blood pressure correctly—I know what the numbers are supposed to sound like, and the ones she told me were somewhat on the low side. 

This didn’t cause anything but a “Huh, that’s interesting” at the time…until for the next several DAYS I felt especially tired, a little lightheaded, and periodically dizzy. Sooo…now I’m thinking that this whole “giving away vital fluids for a good cause” might have to be an only-once-in-a-while thing for me! Eh, I never fainted (before, during, or after) and I got a cool shirt, so we’ll call it a win, yeah?

So there you have it, our household’s most noteworthy nonsense of the first week of June, 2020. Looking forward to enjoying long sunny days, yummy fruits and veggies, refreshing iced tea--and maybe, just maybe, planning a trip, to get the HECK OUT OF DODGE for a while? Time will tell…fingers *definitely* crossed!