As the mother of two rambunctious boys (is there really any other kind?), I consider myself extremely lucky that we have not yet had a reason to visit the Emergency Room (everyone please pause and knock wood with me. okay, continue). In fact, the way my children throw their bodies around and pound on each other, I try to remember to stop every few days or so to silently offer my own Mom's Prayer: "thank you for another day with no broken wrists, sprained ankles, or cracked skulls".
Luckily I was in the same room with them a few mornings ago, when I happened to catch Riley asking Derek, "do you think I can leap down all the stairs?" I didn't wait for the answer (which I knew would probably be "sure, go ahead!") but instead glared up from the bottom of the staircase and started in on "let's think about what could happen in this situation". I proceeded to explicitly described the various traumas that might ensue from this stunt (all scenarios of course ended up in the aforementioned ER).
Then I made my fatal Mom Mistake: I suggested that if they MUST jump off of something, they try the two steps leading down from the foyer to the family room. Adrenaline Junkie--I mean Riley-- immediately did so, then declared in a tortured voice, "this is sooo bo--ring!" Derek chimed in, "yeah, that's the worst thing about adults, they have no idea what kids like!" (Are parents allowed to roll their eyes at their children? Oops, too late.) And did they thank me for all of the Parental Wisdom and Protection? Ha! Instead, after Mean Mommy squashed all their fun, they amused themselves by dramatizing the horrible injuries I had saved them from...such as using their hands to drag themselves around on the floor, moaning "Oh, I must have broken my leg, take me to the hospital!" But my absolute favorite was when Riley staggered into the kitchen clutching his forehead and muttering "I hit my head! I can't think! I'm losing my mind!"
Yeah, I know EXACTLY how you feel...Drama 101 class is dismissed...you both get A's.