I miss Mayberry...

Well, my little Suburban Daydream--you know, the one where we live in this semi-out-of-the-way, quasi-idyllic, serene-and-safe town--has taken a major hit recently. I guess, looking back a bit, the very first sign of Potential Peril in Paradise occurred about a year ago, when the bank across the street from my sons' Elementary School was robbed. In broad daylight. During school hours. The Principal immediately implemented a Code Red Lockdown, resulting in the kids being held in the building for a while until it was decided that the threat had passed, and they could board their buses and go home. Now, I should mention that Olney does have a Police Outpost (a trailer, not a full station), which I believe has always acted as a reassuring presence for our citizens. Officers snagging a morning coffee in Dunkin' Donuts? Awesome! Officers riding police-issued bikes to patrol the sidewalks and streets? Super cool! But if it's all the same to the Criminal Element, I would rather our esteemed Police Men and Women NOT be forced to pursue bad guys into a School Zone. We don't need anything more thrilling than Safety Patrols issuing citations for running in the hallways, thank you very much!

But all lighthearted joking aside, lately things have taken a distinct turn for the worse. Last Friday night an elderly man was found murdered in his home, near the Middle School Derek and Riley will attend. Then on Monday, another man was shot outside McDonald's...about a block from the Elementary School. At this point I think it's not overly dramatic to say that we've blown right by Community Concern and landed squarely on Public Panic. There was a TV News Truck parked outside the building where I take dance class, and my fellow Hip-Hoppers were all abuzz with the latest updates. Later at a local restaurant (having earned my lunch by shimmying and shaking), I ran into an acquaintance I hadn't seen for months, and in lieu of "Hi, how are you" she led off with, "Have you been following...?" People are understandably horrified and upset at the senseless taking of human lives. But we're also confused...our tiny city lies about 45 minutes away from both of our bigger, tougher cousins--Washington D.C. and Baltimore--so how could this happen in "our neck of the woods?" (to borrow a phrase from my mother...who incidentally doesn't live in the woods, but you get my drift.)

It used to be that all we had to worry about around here was receiving the dreaded Traffic-Camera Speeding Citations in the mail (well, not ME, of course, since I know where all the traps are...I mean, since I always drive under the speed limit, of course!) Now all of a sudden our small corner of the planet has gotten a bit less predictable and a lot more frightening. I really don't want to remember 2011 as "the year big-time-crime arrived in Olney to stay." I'd prefer to return to The Good Old Days: that earlier, simpler time when the most excitement the Police Officers could expect in their day was setting up a sneaky Speed Zone, lurking in the parking lot of the Shopping Center, zapping passing cars with their handheld radar guns and handing out tickets.

I must say, though, with all the uncertainty and speculation surrounding the incidents, this is one of those times I'm SOOO glad my kids are oblivious to News Reports. Of course as parents, over the years we've tried to instill Rules for Safety and encourage a measure of good old-fashioned Common Sense as the boys make their way out into the Big Wide World (since apparently I can't just confine them in a protective bubble until they reach adulthood--drat!). And you know how I jest about waving the busload of kids off to "jail" every day? Soon the reality of their Suburban School Life will include a brand new Security System (that's right, as in "all-doors-locked, press-buzzer-to-enter, smile-for-the-camera"). Peace of mind? I suppose. But it is my most heartfelt wish that my sons--and everyone else's children as well--be allowed to continue feeling young, and carefree, and innocent for as long as possible. And since I'm making wishes (where's a Genie when you need one?), I'll throw in a blanket request for people of all ages: We'd like our neighborhoods secure and lawful once more. Thank you very much. Please drive carefully.