Let the Goofy Times Roll

Fat Tuesday is upon us, and you all know what that means--Laissez les bon temps roulez! Which roughly translated from French means:  "Eat and Drink All Night!" (no, that's not the one...) Is it: "Dance in the Streets and Wear Colorful Beads?" (that doesn't sound right either). Wait, I've got it: "Pancake Breakfast at Church!" Whew, that's much more our speed these days. Driving home after the satisfying flapjack-fest, I brought up the fact that today marks the beginning of the Lenten Season. From the backseat I heard Riley sigh and remark in a plaintive little voice, "No more jokes for a while."  I rushed to reassure him that although Lent is a time of "seriousness", that doesn't mean he can't laugh at all (although in retrospect, I really wish I'd been thinking more quickly, so I could somberly agree that Jesus would like us to lay off the groan-inducing puns (Derek) for at least the next 40 days. Drat!) Instead, I explained that in this period leading up to Easter, we ought to ponder the sacrifice Jesus made for us, and consider ways that we might be able to improve ourselves, or do some good in the world, to honor his Spirit. I was feeling fairly pleased with my 5-minute-car-ride, elementary-school overview, when suddenly Derek piped up, in a weary tone, "My mind is too occupied with girls to think about Jesus right now." I'm sorry, WHAT?

It seems that he and and another boy in his 5th-grade class (who I incidentally used to like, right up until this conversation) have made a bet to see who can get a girlfriend first. (Memo to Me: call Eddie's mother right away and find out what she knows...and how long she thinks the Grounding should last...I'll suggest until age 16 or so.)
Okay, I will probably regret this, but, "How's that going?"
"Not so well," he laughed.
"How do you ask them?"
He yelled, "Hey, wanna be my girlfriend?" (And yet there haven't been any takers so far, imagine that!)
"Do I even want to know who you've tried?"
"Maybe," he retorted, "but that's my personal life!" (Of course, approximately 4 seconds later, he told me anyway. His middle name really should be Open Book! If in the course of his natural development over the next several years, the Adolescent Privacy Gene manifests, I'm going to be so upset!)
"And whatever happened to 'Girls are Icky'?" (you know--that beautiful, carefree era when a mother could be confident and secure that her little boy regarded the Opposite Sex with the proper amount of distrust and dislike.)
 "Oh, it's just to win the bet, for bragging rights!" (and yet the Rogue Romeo wonders why young ladies appear less-than-entranced by his charming proposition...)

Finally, we pulled into the driveway (after the longest 3-mile trip EVER) and Derek wanted to know, "Is Dad home yet?" And here's where my inability to bite back a sarcastic quip lands me in trouble: "Well, do you observe any lights turned on in the house at all?" (and bless him, he answers even when it's clearly a rhetorical question) "Noooo..." "Then use your powers of deduction." At which point I was rudely interrupted by an explosive snort of laughter as he choked, "My powers of seduction?" He continued to guffaw as Riley--alarmed that he'd missed something--started demanding, "What? What did he say? What's so funny?" Alright, that's it, get out of the car, go to your room, and don't come out until.....until you're old enough to even know what that means! (So there! Wait, did I win that one? I'm not at all sure...) And so I decided that our new Lenten Commitment will be: Less Gooberheadedness. Oh wait, that'll never work. We'd better stick to something with a better chance of success--like cutting out chocolate or something. Except, some days I need chocolate to put me in the right frame of mind to deal with the children. Clearly, this requires some more reflection (fortunately I have the next 40 days to figure it out...and I have to believe that God, as a parent himself, will surely understand!)