My baby left me! (well, sort of...)

My older son Derek has never been what you'd call a "boundary pusher". He tends to accept whatever limitations we place on him without complaint, and doesn't often press us for more freedom or privileges. It was only in the last few months--when one of his friends began calling and asking if Derek could come to his house--that I allowed him to ride his bike alone, out into the big, scary world...to the end of our street, around the corner and one cul-de-sac over. Maybe it's a First Child thing; Derek isn't trying to follow in anyone's footsteps, looking up to someone who gets to go more places and do more things. On the other hand, Riley IS the Little Brother, 3 years younger, but already itching to keep pace with his sibling. Riley has always requested permission to do exactly the same thing his Older Brother gets to do--whether it's eating a second piece of cake at a birthday party, playing a cool new video game, or exploring the neighborhood (careening behind Derek at breakneck speed on his scooter).

So I absolutely should have seen this coming--Riley asked the other day "Can I go to the park?" I just stared at him, shocked and horrified (like he'd asked if he could shoot squirrels in the backyard, or something). Finally I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind: "By yourself?" In response, he flashed me an innocent, crooked-toothed, hopeful grin and nodded vigorously. Internally, the following raging Mom-alogue ensued: "But...but...you're so little! There could be bad people there! (You know, like teenagers or something!) Or another kid could be mean to you, and I won't be around to help you cope! Or you could fall and scrape a knee, and I won't be able to kiss it! Wouldn't your brother like to go, too? He may be the skinniest bodyguard ever, but at least it's something! (And the grand crescendo) C'mon, Derek's 11, and stands nose-to-nose with me by now...but you're my BABY!" Riley just stood there, gazing up at me expectantly while waiting calmly for the verdict. So I took a few deep breaths, got a grip, and started sternly reviewing the Ground Rules:

--"Wear your helmet." (He automatically does this anyway, but since I was kind of freaking out, I thought I'd just start from the beginning. To his credit, he graciously accepted this without rolling his eyes or saying "Duh!")
--"Come to a full stop at the corner". (as if there were a Police Officer waiting to issue you a citation--hey, there's an idea for our Tax Dollars--Playground Cop! I'm writing to my County Council Member right away!)
--"Look both ways for cars". (Again, obvious...but I think he could sense a taste of independence within his grasp, so he patiently tolerated the Safety Lecture.)
--"Get along with others". To which he immediately replied, "Don't worry, Mom, I'll be nice to the (wait for it...) LITTLE KIDS!" (What does that mean? People shorter than you? How about you just go ahead and treat all of the taller ones well, also!)

Then of course there was the unspoken, heavily-implied final plea: "Come back soon!" As I watched him zooming down the street, racing toward his first Solo Adventure, I realized I was maybe getting an early preview of the High School Years...when the boys will be driving away (hold on a minute, I'm hyperventilating...okay, I'm firmly back in Happy Denial). They'll head out on a date, or to meet friends, and I'll keep a vigil, periodically glancing at the window for returning headlights, until they arrive safely back at the Home Port. Perhaps we ALL need to break this process into tiny increments to test the waters. (After all, what I view as the soft pillow of Parental Protection that I like to maintain around my children, they probably would call...smothering.) This time, Riley returned after 20 minutes or so, reported on his mini-field-trip, and blithely moved on to the next activity (within the secure confines of the back yard--whew!). I breathed a sigh of relief, and mentally patted us both on the back for our reasonable attitudes and mature behavior.  I feel like we successfully passed some kind of Family Pre-Test; I know the tougher questions are coming, but at least now I have some more time to study!