The Family "Business"

Well, September sped past me before I could even blink and...what's that? It's October TENTH already? Are you sure? Because I could solemnly swear on a stack of Bibles that I just flipped the calendar page, like, yesterday! Okay, okay, I guess I'll have to deal with the fact that Fall is flying by, while we here at WestEnders HQ have been caught up in addressing a three-pronged set of goals, aimed at optimizing team production (Does that make us sound efficient and businesslike? That's the illusion--I mean "image" I'm striving to attain...) These areas of focus are as follows: Time-Management, Task Completion, and Resource-Organization.

Now, in terms of Time-Management, I think we've done pretty well. Our progress can be measured by very specific outcomes, such as the critical Not Missing the Bus (we're a perfect 100% so far, at two different times, on two different buses...it'll never last, but for right now, yay, us!) or the equally-important Finishing Homework Before Bedtime (sometimes with much yawning and complaining about being too exhausted to think straight, but it gets done, nonetheless). As for Task Completion, this falls under the heading of  Meeting Homework Deadlines (Derek has racked up only one "I forgot to turn it in" incident; not bad for the beginning of Middle School). I'm certain we'll be tested more stringently later in the school year when both kids are assigned more long-term projects, but at the moment, things seem to be flowing pretty smoothly.

If there's one area that I--as Family Manager--have identified as a potential weakness early in this academic year, it's Resource-Organization, otherwise known as "controlling your stuff". (And by the way, do you like how I just awarded myself a title? I think the weight and scope of my duties entitle me to a hefty compensation package, don't you? Wine and chocolate will do nicely...) For example, Derek has left his lunch at home not once, but TWICE now in 7 weeks of school. The first time this occurred, I briefly considered letting him "face the natural consequences"--all the while wondering what these would actually be...feeling hungry until he arrived home at 3 p.m.? Using some of his pre-paid account to purchase a cafeteria meal? Filching from other kids' plates when they weren't looking? But almost instantly, the hard-wired Mom Guilt kicked in, and I drove his lunchbag to school. (However, when I dropped the lunch off with the Secretary, I conspiratorially asked what the procedure was for delivering it to Derek. Would he be called to the Office and wonder if he was in trouble? Would he be mortified in front of the entire 6th grade at lunchtime? That would teach him! Sadly, when he greeted me in the afternoon, he nonchalantly reported that someone had just handed it to him, with no Public Embarrassment whatsoever. Drat!)

The second time it happened, Meals on Wheels service was delegated to Husband, since I had to leave early for work that day. Derek burst through the door after school and dramatically declared himself "staaarrrvving"...since it turned out his noontime meal had never shown up...and how could it, when Husband sheepishly plucked it out of the back seat of his car at 6 p.m., where it had languished, forgotten, all day long? This time the punishment--for Derek, at least--turned out to be more severe, as he wasn't even able to scrape together a hot lunch, having already burned through the entire amount of money I allotted him for the 1st 9-week quarter. (Precisely how he accomplished this remains a huge mystery. It seems I may need to schedule a seminar in Fiscal Accountability for the Modern Tween--or, See, I Told You There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch!) He was reduced to begging scraps from his friends; thus he subsisted on a couple of potato wedges and an apple slice, until he was able to raid our pantry. (Another valuable lesson: NEVER count on growing boys--no matter how tight your friendship may be--to share their precious food supply!)

So, clearly we have some targets to improve upon before Performance Evaluation time rolls around. In fact, I think both Derek and Husband should be placed on Secret Probation until they get a firm handle on this little Lunch Issue. Of course, they will be welcome to petition for full reinstatement of any and all Family Privileges...if they spell out their plea using a sufficient amount of Ghirardelli dark...