Innocent Reader, Beware!

When I was young, single, and moderately hip, I loved to read magazines like Glamour and Cosmopolitan. They always had cute fashions (even if I couldn't afford them), helpful makeup tips (for those many occasions when I might need a "smoky eye" look), and naughty relationship advice (that I would blush to even read, much less follow). But some years passed...and I realized that I had, shockingly, aged right out of being a "Cosmo Girl". I don't know how this escaped me before, but I suddenly noticed that I would look ridiculous in mini-skirts, cleavage-baring sweaters, and thigh-high boots! Even the cover of the magazine became an embarassment--I'm a busy wife and mother, I don't have the time or energy for "32 Titillating Ways to Please my Man with Cool Whip". So I did the only sensible thing, and started buying more mature, age-appropriate publications, like Redbook and Good Housekeeping. With young, curious readers in the house, however, I'm still cautious--like when I kept this month's issue turned upside down at all times due to the word S-E-X on the cover. Call me a coward, but I just wanted to avoid awkward questions from my sweet little boys...at least until they're about twenty. And it almost worked. Until yesterday morning when my 8 year-old waved the January Health magazine at me and snickered, "Mommy, what's a 'tight, toned butt'?" Now is the perfect time for: Go ask your father!