Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Silliness of Acro-nomical Proportions

Remember when, to make contact with a fellow human being, you placed a phone call?  You turned the dial (for some of us, whose parents scorned new technology--like TOUCH TONE--as unnecessary, even though my father was:  a technician for AT&T!)  Where was I?  Oh yes, nowadays we all use our thumbs to send messages, and to save ourselves undue strain, we've learned the modern, abbreviated language of texting. 

My sons are too young yet to have their own phones (although the 9-year old asks on a regular basis when he can have one, just to see if I come down from "high school"), but occasionally we make up our own acronyms when the need arises.  The first one happened one morning at about 8:52, when--as usual--we needed to get out the door 2 MINUTES AGO to avoid missing the bus.  While frantically (but thoroughly) brushing my teeth, I attempted to convey this critical information using what I thought was a clever combination of mime, and some gurgling.  Somehow, despite my expressive arm-waving and eloquent toothpaste-talk, the boys couldn't seem to get the gist.  Thus our first shorthand was born: SBT means "it's shoes and backpack time".  And I can say it through a mouthful of Aquafresh.

So in the spirit of this efficient new way of communicating, I think I need some other quick catchphrases to replace things I hear myself say over and over again.  These are very commonly heard in my house, with their useful substitutions:
OYBN:  Off Your Brother, NOW!  (Oh, the time and energy that would save me!)
HTY:  Hands To Yourself!  (often paired with the first one)
WIO: Work It Out (implied: Or Mommy Will Separate You--but that's just too long)
DYH:     Do Your Homework (nightly, around 7 p.m.)
EYVOND:  Eat Your Vegetables Or No Dessert (mostly to Riley, at dinnertime)
TFP: Time for Practice (karate, soccer, baseball--we could use this one almost every night)
HAK: Hugs and Kisses (I might get away with this one in public, as long as we were the only ones who knew what it meant!)

I'd better quit before I get too carried away, or I'll need a cheat sheet for my own Family Language. So, that's all, TTFN!

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