Sarcasm as a way of life...

Often in the daily frenzy of Family Life, I am absolutely absorbed with such mundane tasks as: determinedly fighting to keep ahead of my To-Do List, madly shuttling people to where they need to be at any given time, competently ensuring that everyone has whatever food/ supplies/ moral support they require, etc. Time whizzes merrily along (yes, of course I'm shocked and appalled that it's December already...aren't you?) and yet, for long periods, I might not notice the subtle changes creeping in around me. Then out of the blue I'll get whacked with a sign I can't ignore--like Derek shooting up another inch, and getting even closer to my height. Or Riley losing 4 baby teeth in a single month, putting an end to his baby grin forever.

Other rites of passage are more understated. Derek has been teetering a fine line between "clinging" and "asserting independence" for a while now. He still likes to hang out with his family, but he'll spend time alone in his room too. He generally wants to know where I'm going and when I'll be back whenever I leave the house...but this past weekend we had the following exchange:

Me: "I'm planning to go shopping at 10."
D: "Okay" (eyes lighting up with recognized opportunity)--"can we play Wii then?"
[Time passes, I haven't made it out at my scheduled departure time (yeah, like THAT ever happens), and Derek comes looking for me]
D: "Why aren't you gone?"
Me: "I got busy doing other stuff...wait, do you want me to go away?"
D. "Yeah!"
Me: "That is sooo not the right answer!"
D: "Well, what is?"
Me: (hand over heart, slight catch in voice) "Don't leave, Mommy, stay with us forever!"
D: (head cocked, seeming to seriously consider this for a moment) "Are you sure you want to stay here with us gooberheads?"
Oh...you make an excellent point. (Exit Mom, Stage Right)

And now even Riley has jumped on the Melodrama Express (although frankly, he's such a frequent passenger, he should have a Lifetime Ticket). Just a little while ago, he meandered in from playing outside, and asked me if he should take a shower before putting on some warm pjs. His exact words actually were: "Smell me, do I need a shower?" (Gosh, honey, what a fabulous offer! Memo to me: remind him never to say that to a girl again--even if it is Mom!) I initially told him he was fine, but upon spying the ground-in dirt on his elbows, I reversed my decision and scooted him off to clean up. His face turned stormy, his voice quavered, and he demanded to know "then why did you tell me I didn't need to shower?" "I changed my mind," I blithely answered. He began to stomp out of the room, but almost immediately turned and retorted, with a sneer worthy of Elvis, in a voice positively dripping with sarcasm, and USING AIR QUOTES, "That's right, I changed my mind!" I couldn't help it; I exploded with laughter. My 7-year old son just air-quoted me for the first time. I'm so proud.

And may I just say, I have no idea where they get their sarcasm...or dramatic tendencies.