Wardrobe Malfunction

As the mother of two boys, I am mercifully spared from having to deal with anything involving "Fashion".  Neither one of them is picky (yet) about what their clothes look like, or what logos they have; and when it comes time to get dressed in the morning, they just snatch something from the drawer (or the clean laundry pile) and throw it on. They don't accessorize; heck, they don't even MATCH most of the time. My Mom Filter has learned to tune out the nausea-inducing color combinations they choose (it's a defense mechanism, honed over years of Evolution, I'm sure. Cave Moms probably got tired of yelling, "for the love of Pteradactyl, how many times do I have to tell you, saber-toothed tiger print clashes with mastodon?!" But I digress...). My eyes do a quick head-to-toe scan, and as long as I register that the outfit-of-the-day includes both shirt and pants, I'm satisfied.

Here comes the big BUT. Both Derek and Riley seem to be especially warm-blooded creatures, with enviable Internal Heaters that keep them toasty despite such pesky nuisances as freezing temperatures, wind chill, etc. Thus, they prefer to wear as little clothing as Mom will allow them to get away with on a regular basis. In the Spring and Summer this is easy--as soon as I give the Official Parental Okay, it's shorts and t-shirts from April to October. And our weather generally cooperates, remaining on the warmish side until Halloween. However, shortly after that, we suddenly get overnight temperatures in the 30s, and morning frost. When that happens, I feel I must insist on...long pants when they leave the house (horrified gasp! Awful Mommy!) Derek, although he misses his shorts, and reminisces fondly about the warm days when he could let his knees hang out in the breeze, accepts this Seasonal Fashion Declaration with good grace. Then, there's Riley...who had a COLOSSAL meltdown (pun intended), punctuated by sobbing; stomping feet; exaggerated sighing; loud ranting about how hot he's going to be in his classroom; and finally, pulling up of the pant-legs to demonstrate how much more comfortable he would be in shorts...

At long last, he announced dramatically that he was going to bed--and by the way, there would be no need to tuck him in, thank you very much. And with a huffy Good Night, he swept from the room. Whew! Give the kid a Junior Oscar for that heartfelt performance! Now here's where "thank goodness for boys" comes into play. The next morning when he got up and emerged from his bedroom--without the storm clouds--he earnestly announced that he had come up with a solution to his problem. "Since I have to be warm at recess or they won't let me play outside, I'll wear long pants to school. Then when I get home, can I change into shorts to run around our own yard?" Oh sure, why not, honey? The risk of frostbitten shins seems such a small price to pay, to avoid an encore showing of the Terrible Trousers Tantrum!