Germ Warfare (on a very local level)

Well, the early days of 2011 have been better for some of us in the family than others. After a lovely New Year's weekend, the kids returned--reluctantly, grumblingly--back to school. (Let me just pause here for a moment and try to express my true feelings on that subject: YIPPEE!) Husband's company gives employees a four-day weekend around the holiday, so he had Monday the 3rd off. We were going to be...alone. Two adults with an entire day to spend doing whatever we wanted! The array of possibilities was almost too staggering to contemplate...we could (wait for it) see a movie! One that isn't animated...and doesn't have even one talking animal! Or we might eat lunch at a restaurant...one that uses cloth napkins and actual silverware! (although to be perfectly honest, we have done this with the kids, but it's getting awfully expensive the way Derek packs food away these days!) And we would be able to choose someplace too spicy, or too exotic for the boys, and NOT be asked to share our meals! Just imagining the blissful offspring-free hours made for such a pleasant daydream...right up until Husband woke up pale, and achy, and feverish...and then began violently heaving his insides into the toilet. (I wholeheartedly apologize for the graphic description, but if you think that's bad, you should have heard it!) My half-formed plans for our Carefree Couple Day evaporated, and I shifted gears to Plan B: "avoid FluMan like, well, the Plague!"

Now I'm sure all of you who are married--or have even ever attended a wedding--recall the special, caring things you promise each other in the vows: Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer...something else...oh yeah, Sickness or Health. Confessions of a Real Housewife of Maryland: I totally stink at that part. If one of the kids is under the weather, be it a stomach virus, or sinus infection, or strep throat, I'm a regular Florence Nightingale (well, usually without the horrific battlefield conditions). You need some juice? Coming right up. Your head hurts? I'll be back in a jif with the Motrin. Snuggle on the couch with Mommy? You bet! But somehow, when Husband goes down, all I can muster is an encouraging wave (from across the room--don't want to get too close to those icky germs!) and a hearty pep talk ("Buck up, trooper, you'll be fine!") Okay, AND a trip to the grocery store or pharmacy to get whatever he needs/wants. (As a matter of fact, earlier today I brought him Gatorade mix and chicken soup from Giant! That counts toward Supportive Wife Points, right? Yay me!)

And--while I know this goes in the Bad Wife column on the Marriage Spreadsheet (because someone's keeping score, right?)--I am unable to resist pointing out that 3 out of 4 of us received the flu vaccine this season--one guess as to who blew it off. I must also disclose (while I'm getting it off my chest) that I mentioned (alright, pushed) the  vaccine to Husband, no fewer than 4 or 5 times during the Fall. The Handbook of Spouse Behavior (which I just made up, but if it actually exists I could be in trouble) might deem this "nagging". But really, which would you rather have: gentle, frequent reminders to do something healthy...or an "I told you so" while suffering grave intestinal distress? (For the record, I kept the "I told you so" to myself--see, I can be sympathetic on occasion!)

So I must conclude that, as this whole Wife/Mother thing is my primary job, there are definitely areas that need some improvement. In fact, I'll start right now! I'll go check and see if he would like some juice...or Motrin...or, what the heck, an empathetic high-five!