The germs won this one (but we'll be back!)

Everyone knows the saying "it'll be a cold day in hell when (insert improbable or undesirable event) happens!" Well, let me just say that for me, this first month of 2011 feels like one big endless frigid day in Hades. Of course there are the usual delightful Winter elements that all of us experience: the bone-chilling cold, the biting wind, the desert-dry air. But this year, my household somehow seems to have scored the Extra-Special January Family Fun Pack...that's right, you get all of the above, PLUS...(wait with bated breath to see what you've won) an assortment of...really nasty germs*!! (and the crowd goes wild) Man, I do not remember signing up for this nonsense--did I fill out something without looking?

First Husband came down hard with the flu. Then I got tired of waiting for the Stubborn Gobs of Gunk in my head to just go away already, and got treated for a sinus infection. Next, we decided to drag Riley to his pediatrician with a definite case of the Snot and Cough Syndrome (I made that up, can you tell? I think the medical profession should adopt it. I want royalties.) that was persisting for weeks on end. Yep, sinus infection and antibiotic #2 in the family. Let's see, who went down after that; it all gets so confusing when you're under siege from a Battalion of Bacteria... oh yes, it was Husband again, whose friend Influenza invited his colleague, Bronchitis (without permission, I might add...very bad form, even for microscopic organisms).  For those keeping score: antibiotic #3.

All along, we had been marveling at how Derek seemed to be ducking the various illnesses (sometimes knocking wood just isn't enough)...until last night, when he began complaining of a sore throat and headache. This morning he woke up with the same symptoms, but didn't have a fever, so I gave him a dose of Kiddie Motrin (the Wonder Drug), encouraged him to be a brave little soldier (in the War on Microbes), and sent him off to school. He made it through his day, then dragged himself home and curled up on his bed in a miserable lump. Uh oh: so very much NOT typical Derek behavior. Since our pediatrician's so close, they agreed to see him right away...one gag-inducing throat swab later, we had (drumroll) STREP. And yes, antibiotic #4. (Incidentally, I was feeling like Worst Mom Ever--again--when the doctor told me she herself goes by this rule: if they're not throwing up or feverish, they go to school. Okay, then, I'm back to...Pretty Okay Mom!)

So you can understand why I say: We. Are. Done. Notice to all little wiggly creatures that may still be floating around out there, looking for warm, hospitable hosts--our noses, and throats, and ears, and lungs, and tummies, (and whatever other places you may like to lurk and wreak havoc) are like Switzerland...OFF LIMITS. If you should choose to ignore this warning, be aware: we have Amoxicillan...and we're not afraid to use it!

*Selection will vary. Not all germs will be available to all customers. Other restrictions apply. See doctor for details. No returns or refunds...but exchanges may very well occur among the "winners".