Dinner with Delightful Dorks

Yes, I'm talking about my precious children, of course. Don't get me wrong--I love, love, love that they have the chance to dabble in a variety of enriching topics while holed up in their respective School Environments all day long. And I am eternally, deeply grateful that they take their "jobs" seriously enough to pay close attention to the important subjects being taught. And yes, I even applaud the fact that they memorize a selection of fascinating tidbits to bring home and share with me, their Captive Audience--I mean Devoted Mother. All that being said, my sons' scholastic tendencies lead directly to dinner conversations such as we experienced this evening...

The tone was set while I  prepared to dish out pierogies, and asked each boy how many he wanted. Derek immediately announced that he would take "two times two, minus one!" Oy. "Just trying to keep my parents awake!" he cheerfully added with a huge grin and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Riley, not to be out...mathed...declared that he would like "the square root of four!" for his portion. That was my early warning that we would be enjoying an Academic Decathalon to liven up our normally-tranquil evening meal, but it was just the beginning...Next, while dousing his plate with ketchup, Derek invited, (in his best Game Show Host voice, which prior to that moment, I was unaware that he even had) "Let's play trivia!" Oh boy, here we go..."Is ketchup a liquid, or a solid?" (I swear I could hear the Jeopardy music playing in my head as I tried to puzzle out the answer before the imaginary buzzer went off.) I knew it had to be a trick, but I went the obvious route anyway: liquid. "Neither!" he gleefully corrected. Then he rattled off the explanation (which I am sooo NOT making up):"It's a thixotropic solution, which means its molecules are in a chain, like a solid; but when disturbed, the chain breaks apart and becomes like a liquid." (After I closed my gaping mouth and managed to rearrange my features back into a more intelligent expression, I wisely noted, "Like when you shake the ketchup to get it to pour." Yep, that was the sum of my brilliant contribution to the scientific discussion.)

Professor Derek ended that segment of the lecture by concluding "We also have a thixotropic solution in our bodies. It's called synovial fluid, and it protects our joints." But wait, he wasn't nearly finished! (Are you jumping up and down with anticipation and enthusiasm? I sure was! Actually, I was busily scribbling with my back turned to him, which caused him to suspiciously ask, "Hey, are you Facebooking this?" Um, of course not, sweetie...but you can bet your...buns...I'll be Blogging it later! Oh look, it's later!) He then fired out his next inquiry: "Can you name the 5 Kingdoms?" Okay, I assumed he wasn't talking about monarchies...so, Biology, right? I hazarded a guess: "Um...Mammals?" No! I figured it was quicker and less painful to just admit defeat, so I let him run down the list: Animalia, Fungi, Protista, Plantae, and Monera. (I really should have gotten Plants and Animals, but mushrooms and single-celled creatures I would definitely have forgotten...and the last one I'd honestly never even heard of. Incidentally, it's "Bacteria", who knew?) Furthermore, the "protista" category had to be specially created, as amoebas and such didn't fit the criteria for any other Kingdom. (And as he continued, I was thinking it's a good thing I took notes, since I wouldn't put it past him to quiz me on the material! Yeah...whose son is he?)

So, that sums up our lighthearted, stimulating dinner chat. The funniest thing of all to me was when Derek revealed that all of this...stuff...came up not in Science Class, but rather in English! Good grief! Shouldn't they be...Shakespear-ing, or something? (On second thought--then I'd have to dig out and re-read some of the plays in order to sound semi-literate in the subsequent Shakespearean Dinner Seminar...nevermind!) Now if you'll excuse me, I should go study my notes. I expect this teacher to grade very tough, and who knows what we'll be covering tomorrow night!