My Funny Valentine(s)

Yes, it's February 14th, and you know what that means--a day of love, and romance, and hearts, and flowers...or in my case, a fully-sanctioned Chocolate Pig-out Day! (Not like I need an excuse, but somehow, giving it an official title makes it sound more...respectable and less...fattening?) Now, please allow me to describe Valentine's Day in my house full of males:

The Good: Husband knows that the perfect gift for me is, of course, chocolate. Dark only, please. By the bagful, thank you very much! (For him, it's Good & Plenty candy. I can't even begin to understand the allure of sugar-coated licorice. But at least we each have our own stash of happy sweets!) I managed to surprise the sons with some little trinkets--mini M&Ms for each, a new basketball for Derek, to replace his half-deflated one, and an Angry Birds pencil-topper for Riley because...well, because nothing pleases Riley more than collecting silly things. Riley was typically exuberant when he came downstairs at breakfast time and saw his treats. But Derek was the cutest; he said, "I didn't expect to celebrate, since in Middle School, you never get anything for holidays." Aww.

The Amusing: (sub-category: something about "apples not falling far from trees" and whatnot) I've mentioned that Derek enjoys making really...really awful puns (I know you're thinking "is there such a thing as a good pun?" Well if there is...they don't come from him.) The card he picked out for me has a bird on the front, and inside it says "Mom, know what? Owl always love you!" Ouch! (He even signed it "Dr. Pun"--I'm not kidding, this boy clearly uses his powers for...well, not evil, exactly, but surely mild-pain-inducement!) But the real punchline is: the card I bought for him...has an owl on the front...and inside it says "Hope your Valentine's Day is a real hoot!" Oh no! I did cause this! My bad! And finally, Husband's choice of Hallmark Greetings conveys the touching, sentimental message: (front) "Of course I love you! (inside) "Who else would put up with all my crap?" And that, my friends, is the cement that holds a marriages together for the long haul...a Husband willing to take more than his share of the heat...okay, that and the chocolate!

The Sweet:  This morning I was preparing myself for work, somewhere in the middle of the pjs-to-professional-clothes transformation, when Riley looked up briefly from playing a game on my iTouch and commented, "You look beautiful, Mommy." Um...thanks, honey, but I'm only half-dressed at the moment. His matter-of-fact reply: "It doesn't matter what you're wearing, you're still beautiful!" (Sniffle. What a sweetie.) Since I usually don't see Derek before he leaves for school (at that hour I like to call "Too Ungodly Early for Mom to be Pleasant"), as soon as he got home he gave me a hug and thanked me for his Valentine's Day gifts. That's the exact second when I noticed...I can't see over the top of his head anymore...which I could definitely do at Christmas time. So, this may be the very last February 14th that I remain taller than my oldest baby. (Sniffle.)

And so let's conclude with: The Ridiculous (aka: "just when you thought it couldn't get any goofier") Over the weekend, when I was transferring iTunes information from the old desktop PC to the new laptop, Derek wanted me to freshen up his song list a bit. I added some Bon Jovi (that's my boy) from our collection, and he asked me to download a couple of current songs. Specifically: Sexy and I Know It...by LMFAO. "I want that one too!" Riley piped up. (Naturally. Sigh.) "Fine," I thought, it'll just be added into their Playlists, and pop up every once in a while as they listen. But noooooo. The moment I put it on their devices, they apparently set it to repeat...as many times as it took to completely learn the words. Thus, picture my precious 8-year old, prancing around the house with his headphones firmly planted on his ears, singing the following delightful refrain: "I got passion in my pants, and I ain't afraid to show it (show it, show it--and yes, he does that part too)--I'm sexy and I know it!" He delivers it with utter conviction and a great deal of showmanship...but I'm just SOOOOO not comfortable with my 3rd-grader sharing the "passion in his pants" with the world at large! Oy!

Well, that's Valentine's Day in our madhouse: presents, puns, and...passion in our pants! (I need to go have some more chocolate...)