Yet Another Clothing Conundrum

Over the years, I've reached the inescapable conclusion that my children must be part Polar Bear, due to their uncanny ability to generate and maintain their own supply of warmth without the benefit of extra layers of clothing. (Don't ask me exactly how that happened--given that my own Personal Preferred Temperature lies somewhere between...oh, 70 and 85 degrees. Below that, and I'm piling on additional shirts to keep from shivering!) Now that we're...sort of...having Winter, and Derek needs to be at the bus stop by 7:20 in the morning, at least he has the sense (and frigid knees) to wear jeans when he shuffles out of the house. (He still refuses to succumb to his heavy coat, though, using the excuse that "it takes up too much space in his locker". Uh huh...) By the time Riley gets up, however, the thermometer has crept up just enough for us to engage in the unavoidable "but WHY do I have to wear long pants? I get so hot in school!" Debate. In an attempt to put an end to the daily drama, I finally set an absolute break point--the number at which I would cease to entertain arguments of any kind. And that number is: 40 degrees. That's right, if it's 40 or above, I let him get away with shorts. Anything that starts with a 2 or 3, no dice.

Believe it or not, the Pants Policy has saved us any number of pointless before-school apparel struggles; Riley is so used to it now, he just goes downstairs to check the readout on our indoor/outdoor thermometer, and dresses himself accordingly. (Although if he knows for a fact it's supposed to warm up later, I might catch some mutinous muttering under his breath about how uncomfortable he's going to be wearing the offensive leg-covering items until 4 p.m.) Occasionally, there has even been some positive feedback, such as on a recent barely-40-degree morning, when I allowed him to get away with shorts. His response? Dancing around delightedly, crowing "Thank you, thank you, thank you: Best. Mommy. Ever!" He added that the previous day, when it had been 37 degrees and he'd had to wear windpants to school, he was "burning up!"  Then there was yesterday, when the temps started in the 30s, but were projected to rise to the mid-60s by afternoon. Riley had obediently donned long pants in preparation for going to school, but when I shared the weather forecast with him, he hastily changed, right before leaving the house. Naturally, I didn't notice until we were already at the bus stop and it was far too late to enforce the Family Law. (Hey, maybe next time I could impose a fine! Like a...Shorts Surcharge, or something! Mwah hah hah!)

It should be noted that this is also the boy who will remove a sweatshirt before sitting down to a meal, since he has some kind of problem eating while clad in long sleeves. (Are you sensing an over-arching theme in his life? Yeah, me too...not that I understand it at all...) However...things might have gone just a bit too far when at dinner one night Riley picked up his fork to begin, then put it back down and mumbled into his plate that he needed to be excused for a moment to go upstairs. Okaaaayyyy...why? He looked around furtively, as if weighing whether he truly wanted to answer the question, then blurted, "Because I don't wanna eat with pants on!"  Oh. Dear. He's quite the character... my little Nudist Diner! (Alright, he did actually come back down to the table having changed into--you guessed it--shorts. Good thing we're not a Formal Dinner kind of family, right?)