A Visit to Word World...

Although it's not something I usually sit around pondering, in general I like to think I'm passing along a healthy dose of curiosity and inquisitiveness to my little darlings. They love things like reading, and experiencing new things, and seeking out fresh information. They're particularly fascinated by words, which of course gives rise to the horrific Derek puns I've mentioned before...but which manifests itself a bit differently these days in Riley. Or, as he shall be known: Vocabulary Boy...starring in Adventures in Etymology. Our episode begins one afternoon when Riley arrived home from school and instantly inquired, "Do you know what persecute means?" (Um...hi, honey, how was your day? It's good to see you!) "Yeeessss," I answered, "whyyyy?" He shrugged and answered, "It's a word we looked up in class today. It means 'to oppress or harass with ill treatment, or to annoy persistently'!" (Yes, that's what actually came out of his mouth. Verbatim.) Oh. Good. Grief. He's apparently memorizing the dictionary, one SAT term at a time. But he wasn't done: "We also studied admonish and probation!" That's...awesome, sweetie...now stop thinking, and go outside and run around for a while, would ya? (Wait, did I really just say that?)

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, then, when he wandered into the School Supplies section the last time we were in Staples, stared wistfully at the shelf, and stated, "I really wish I had a Pocket Thesaurus." (Of course you do, baby. Don't we all?) Or the other morning, when Riley moseyed his way--blinking and yawning--downstairs for breakfast after Husband woke him. By way of greeting, Husband brightly chirped, "Look what I found! Can we keep him?" It was pre-coffee, so I wasn't too quick to engage in witty repartee, but Riley jumped right in with, "Sure! As long as I don't annoy you too much!" Husband shot back, "We'll try you on a probationary basis." To which Riley (never to surrender the last word if he can possibly help it) finished with, "I admonish you not to put me on probation!" That was enough for me before 8 a.m.--I had to retreat until the caffeine kicked in...

But the Final Word, if you will, occurred last night, when Husband was tucking Riley into bed. Riley is a collector of sorts (too young to be labeled a Hoarder...and I start chucking stuff when it threatens to overtake every bare surface in his room, anyway) so has pockets of "special items" stashed in strategic spots around his room. Husband commented that he must be the only child on the planet whose room boasts stuffed frogs in no less than 5 separate places. Riley sleepily mumbled something in reply, which sounded to Husband like "You said it, Riley." Husband confusedly responded, "No, you're Riley." To which the 8-year old clarified, "No, you said that w-r-y-l-y, wryly!" Sigh. Husband reported that the only thing he could do at that point--besides gaping at our beloved youngest child like the Dictionary Demon that he is--was to advise him sternly to go to sleep...the sooner the better!

The good news is, apparently once your brain recovers from the sleep-deprived, high-maintenance Infant Phase, and the Constant-Vigilance, Temper-Tantrum Toddler Years, you get some neural stimulation back in the Elementary School Period. Yee ha! Anyone who claims that Parenting makes you dumb...I challenge them to arm themselves with a copy of the OED, and start prepping for 3rd Grade!