Mystical Medicine

One challenge you hear a lot about in today's extra-busy, fast-paced world is women putting everything else in their lives before their own well-being, taking care of everyone else first, and feeling guilty about carving out time out to tend to their own needs. Well...not me. Call me selfish if you want, but I realized a long time ago (hmm...about the time I had kids, as a matter of fact) that eating properly, exercising, and prioritizing some "alone time" are not optional, but rather absolutely necessary to keep me functioning on all cylinders. Only when I'm looking out for my own health can I give my best to my family as well. Over the years, my self-designed "Holistic Wellness Plan" has evolved to embrace both "traditional medicine" (physicians, dentists, physical therapists on occasion) and what used to be considered "alternative therapies" but are now more and more being accepted into the mainstream. For me, the latter category has at one time or another included specialists in acupuncture, chiropractic, and massage.

Why bring this up? For the past several years, I've been keeping regular appointments with a Chiropractor (who when I told him I'd be writing about him using a pseudonym, good-naturedly encouraged me to go ahead and print his real name. But I'll just stick to "Dr. H") who himself incorporates different styles of treatment. First off, this is not your "neck-cracking" kind of manipulation. After hearing my synopsis of "what's creaky this month", Dr. H is more likely to test certain muscles by applying pressure gently with his hand, and having me resist by pushing back, in an attempt to maintain my arm or leg in the original position without wobbling or giving out. When he identifies a weak spot in my response (i.e.: he can move me more easily and I'm unable to fully deflect the pressure), he can then determine which muscle needs work to either release a knot, or move it back into alignment. Yes, I realize it sounds like quackery, but from repeated experience, I can tell you it honestly does work. Occasionally when Dr. H does something that seems a little more...new agey?...than usual, I'll request the explanation. And the scientific reason for everything he does is either based in the concrete anatomy (the scapula's connected to the vertebrae...and so on) or what I think of as the more "Eastern-type" philosophy of stimulating acupressure points and activating the body's energy centers.

So I've just always gone along and swallowed this routine in its entirety, rarely even questioning Dr. H's techniques any more. I trust him, whatever he does works, so usually we simply chat during my visits about weekend plans or family stuff or whatever. But today's encounter went well beyond the whoo-whoo stuff I normally accept without blinking. There I was, lying on the table on my back with my right arm in the air, bent at the elbow. Dr. H was checking my right shoulder by pressing down on my arm while I pushed back. So far this was completely familiar and comfortable territory. I was focusing on keeping my arm steady and strong, not even paying particular attention as he gently pressed various other unrelated points. But then suddenly he queried, "Has your hip been bothering you at all lately?" Excuse me, my WHAT? I was shocked ...stunned ...speechless ...because the answer was an unequivocal yes. "How did you figure that out?" I sputtered. I'm sure I'm not remembering all the details, but to sum up: when he put pressure on a certain point and my arm wavered, it indicated a related weakness in my hip. Oh....kay....now I'm thinking maybe my Board-Certified Chiropractor might actually be more of a...Voodoo Doctor.

But wait, it gets even more surreal, believe it or not. After using one of those handheld massagers to relax the tight hip muscle, he continued exploring other acupressure areas. Then he mused, sounding hesitant and almost apologetic for even suggesting such a thing, "You don't really seem the type, but is it possible you have a problem with sugar in your diet?" Oh. My. Gosh. Next I expected him to get out the Tarot cards and crystal ball to compete our diagnosis, because there is no way he could have guessed that. I only see him, briefly, once a month, and I know the results of my recent physical exam never came up in our casual conversations. So either I accidentally stumbled into the Psychic Friends Division of Chiropractors...or those freakin' acupressure points are scarily accurate (and also obnoxiously tattle-tale...y). Anyway, now I suppose I have yet another good motivating factor to continue my Sugar Purge. Evidently the evil white stuff takes its toll on my body in more ways than I suspected. And apparently, I can't hide my habits from Dr. H, so I'm going to try even harder to kick the cookie habit. From now on, carrots instead of cake...and in return, I'll take some more of that hip massage, please!