Take this job and...well, just take it!

Last week, the semester came to an end at the college where I work. Thus, my part-time gig goes into hiatus for a while, at least until Summer classes commence. I've found that people who do the 9-5 thing tend to get a little green (with envy, not nausea, just to be clear) when I mention my Semester Breaks. And while I'll be the first one to admit that I'm a huuuuge fan of having some time away (even unpaid time) from my gainful employment, before anyone imagines me lying in a hammock, nibbling grapes and reading a romance novel, let me hasten to add: my full-time job--you know, the one that doesn't pay me anything--continues full steam ahead. It's just that now, rather than squeezing my Household Manager duties in amidst my 3-days-a-week-at-the-college schedule, I have time to devote to actually getting things done without running around like a madwoman, scanning my list, racing from errand to errand, stressing about running out of time, and always feeling like I'm forgetting something important (and let's not forget: muttering to myself under my breath, because that's how I process things best, out loud...which probably earns me some odd looks from fellow shoppers...)

Believe it or not, though, there's actually a downside to having more free moments to contemplate my existence...I've had a chance to recognize the fact that...I absolutely loathe some of my everyday assigned tasks. When you consider the essential chores that must be accomplished to prevent this house and all its occupants from spiraling into utter chaos (okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but work with me on this for a second), certain things spring to mind. Food preparation (obviously, as if I haven't mentioned Derek's appetite enough in these posts); periodic cleanup of messes (crumbs from meals, mud from shoes...random...boy dirt), laundry (Derek also seems to wear more clothes than strictly necessary, for reasons as yet unknown, since he couldn't care less about fashion--or impressing the ladies--at this point); dishes...and that only covers the at-home portion of our routine. Throw in the weekly grocery shopping at Giant and toiletries at Target and cramming the car full at Costco...I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

One recent afternoon, in a 4:00 slump, when I was feeling pressured because I hadn't completed my To Do List for the day, and resentful because the kids wanted something from me--probably a snack...or three--and I didn't want to deal with it (darn demanding boys), I was just about to snap at one of them to leave me alone because "Mom's tired and fed up and doesn't have any more time or energy to give right now!" As I opened my mouth to vent my frustration, I suddenly experienced a revelation: my children are NOT needy little toddlers or pre-schoolers any more. (I know, right: D-U-H!) What I mean to say is that they are perfectly capable of helping out a whole lot more than I've asked them to, and also waaaay more ready for responsibility than I've given them credit for, up to now. My Inner Control Freak, who wants things done to exact specifications, has been preventing me from delegating onerous--I mean worthwhile, rewarding, even character-building--jobs to my little minions...I mean SONS, of course.

Filled with excitement and renewed purpose at this revolutionary idea, I immediately enlisted Derek for some "training". He must have noticed the somewhat manic gleam in my eye, since he approached me warily when I called him. "Yeeesss? Am I in trouble?" Giddy with my new goal of teaching my child meaningful survival skills, I cheerfully answered, "Nope, but you get to learn how to do laundry!" If I was expecting some sort of grateful response ("Oh, thank you, Mom, for helping me to achieve my lifelong dream of...clean clothing!") my hopes were quickly dashed by his lukewarm, "Um...okaaaay..." (The unspoken message clearly being: "But why? You always do it for me!) Not to be deterred by his unenthusiastic demeanor, I marched him down to the laundry room and showed him...the proper sequence in which to press the buttons on the washing machine. Seriously, he has no earthly idea how very thankful he should be--at least I'm not asking him to take a washtub to the river and beat his dirty soccer uniform with a rock! Jeez!

Next on this list: the dishwasher. This represents an area of great contention in our household....okay, the problem is actually entirely mine. You see, Husband fills the machine...wrong. He just refuses to place all the matching items together, for easier unloading. And don't get me started on how he haphazardly flings the utensils in, all facing the same direction so they can potentially stick together and not get fully clean--it's infuriating! Okay, so my Type-A tendencies are not always so constructive, I admit...BUT after 14 years of fuming about this and trying to force (um, "encourage") Husband to just do it the right way--that is to say "my way" for crying out loud--I finally figured out the solution: I'm not emptying the dishwasher any more! Yayyyyy! Let someone else (male) put things away, and I won't give a hoot about how items are crammed in there. Heck, maybe I'll just go all crazy and throw stuff in willy-nilly, myself, from now on. It's the little things, I tell you...

Finally, just so Riley wouldn't feel left out (yeah, because I was really doing this all for them, not to make my life easier at all...) I enlisted him to help me with a tedious chore that gets on my nerves: washing and cutting up fruit. (I know, I know, ironic that a vegetarian finds this to be such a drag...it's just that it needs to be done so darn often, when eating healthy. Stupid "pulled from the Earth" food...why can't it just come out already clean? And maybe nicely sliced, too? Is that really too much to ask?) Anyway, Riley felt like a big man indeed when I handed him the knife and demonstrated how to chop strawberries. In fact, he was so jazzed, he declared afterwards that from now on, it would always be his responsibility to cut the strawberries. Now that's the kind of  excitement I'm looking for! Such a bright, energetic worker should be put to good use--maybe next I'll give him the full lesson on how to use the Dustbuster! Yep, my load is feeling lighter already...