Friday, September 8, 2017

Sometimes I understand the teenage brain...other times, not so much

Now on to something MUCH lighter…let’s take a little field trip to Derek’s world, shall we? (C’mon, it’ll be fun! It’s just a glimpse into the murky thought processes of a 17-year old boy…that can't be scary at all, right? Stick with me, here..)

So, one of those things I gave up on a looooong time ago as a mother was attempting to force the children to fold their t-shirts and store them neatly in the dresser drawers. I mean, this was important to ME, but they couldn’t have cared less about whether their clothing lay in perfect stacks….or for that matter, whether they strolled out of the house looking like wrinkled messes. I simply had to accept that they had different priorities, like whether their faves were clean (which we could ALL agree on, actually), and whether they could easily lay their hands on the one they wanted to wear on any given day (which somehow, even without using my—clearly superior—arrangement, they manage to accomplish).

Imagine my amazement, then, when Derek approached me one day out of the blue with a gigantic grin plastered on his face and announced, “I just did something you’ll be very proud of…I organized my t-shirt collection!” Now, I have to admit, my thoughts did not immediately jump to, “Wow, buddy, that’s awesome!” Instead I glared at him and retorted, “Oh, really? You mean, that thing I’ve done countless times, and been railing at you about for YEARS?” His smile turned sly as he replied, in a tone of aggrieved innocence (as if I were persecuting him for his revolutionary ideas, or something. Very dramatic…), “Yeah, but now that I thought of it…it’s a much better idea!”

(Obligatory pause for maternal episode of banging one’s head against the nearest wall. Okay, carry on…) He continued, his enthusiasm undampened by my lukewarm reception, “Wanna see?” Well, suuuuure, honey. I can’t wait to experience this innovative new technique you’ve created (curiosity and sarcasm waging a battle within me, can you tell?). He pulled open the drawer to expose his handiwork, prompting me to exclaim, “It looks IDENTICAL to the way I’ve always done it!” (Seriously, three piles of folded shirts—this is your brilliant brainstorm? Yeah, I was decidedly…undazzled…thus far…)

He quickly denied this, protesting, “No, no, there’s a system!” He earnestly continued with his explanation, “See, there are three tiers. Say it’s a Friday, and I want to wear something special, I know to look on the left--that’s Tier One. On your average Tuesday, I might go for Tier Two, in the middle. And a Sunday filled with homework? That’s what Tier Three is for, on the right." He concluded with a flourish, "It’ll be so much easier this way!”

Ay yi yi. Oh well, I guess it could be worse…it only took 17-plus years for him to come up with a rationale for showing his clothing some respect—one that made sense to him and motivated him internally to change-- rather than continuing to cram his apparel randomly into his dresser. Perhaps there’s…domestic hope…for him, yet!

On the other hand, I don’t know why this incident surprised me in the slightest, really—given another recent interaction with my eldest in which I’d learned some…shocking? Disturbing? Okay, maybe more like “mildly disconcerting and unexpected” information. You see, one day when I had entered the teenager’s Inner Sanctuary—um, “bedroom”—I’d moved his pillow, making space for me to sit on the bed and chat. He reacted with (mostly feigned) alarm, “Make sure you put that back the same way!” I was bewildered, “Um…right. Why is that, again?” With his trademark smirk, he answered, “Because my pillow stays in exactly the same position at all times!” Far from enlightening me, this only served to further confuse the issue. “You mean, you don’t rotate your pillow sometimes, for a cooler spot…or a…ahem…fresher side?” He emphatically shut down the very possibility with an emphatic, “NOPE! No way!”

In case you’re wondering, don’t ask me for any further illumination into this….character quirk…because he was unable to provide me with any actual reasons, short of the cop-out, “I fear change!” (Utterly negated by the chipper delivery  and impish expression, by the way. And incidentally, this is a well-known catchphrase in our house, typically used by Husband to encompass any and all situations in which he wishes to continue doing things the same way he’s always done, without altering the tiniest detail or causing himself any discomfort or inconvenience. Well done, dear—you’ve taught your sons an avoidance tactic that I’m SURE they’ll NEVER take advantage of, or overuse…siiiighhhhh…)

Anyway, fast forward to the other night, when Riley was seized by a sudden inspiration to rearrange his bedroom. Specifically, he wandered into where I was relaxing and commented, “I know this isn’t like me, but for the first time since we moved into this house, I’m thinking about moving my furniture around.” Well…as someone who’s easily bored and sometimes changes things up just for the HECK of it, this came as a call to action. I probably startled—and possibly dismayed—him when I jumped right up and replied, “Sounds good! How would you like it?” He sputtered, “Like, right NOW?” “Absolutely!” I said, “No time like the present!”

Probably already regretting his impulsive proclamation, he trailed me into his room, where we discussed potential locations for his bed and desk, weighing the spatial considerations, the aesthetic appeal, and the functional merits of each option. Nah, I’m joking! There were honestly only a couple of viable possibilities, so we quickly shifted his desk to a new orientation, tested it out, evaluated its acceptability…and that was it. In one fell swoop, the new setup simultaneously solved the problems that he’d wanted to address, namely “I don’t like my back to the door” and “I’d like the overhead light to be shining directly onto my work surface” Done, and DONE! (And another satisfied client—oh, right..."son"!)

When Derek became aware of these goings-on, he naturally came to check out the new, improved Riley’s Crib. Of course, he shook his head and asked, bemused, “WHY? What was wrong with it before?” As if it was so foreign to his own nature, that he was struggling to comprehend a person’s desire to switch things around…even for a good cause. Therefore, I couldn’t resist teasing, “Hey, we’re done here…now do you wanna rearrange yours?” I began striding purposefully towards his room--with him following briskly at my heels. Now, he knows better than to panic, since I wouldn’t actually touch anything without his permission. However, he made his feelings crystal clear by stating, “When I go to college, I would honestly rather see my room turned into…an arts and crafts studio (which was probably the most extreme...ridiculous...and unlikely example that occurred to him, given his…unartistic…mother) than have anything MOVED!


Alrighty, then, sweetie: duly noted. But you know...suddenly a rather dastardly scheme is occurring to me…maybe for the next year I’ll periodically leave scraps of…fabric…and, I don’t know…stray beads? Bits of yarn? Whatever the DIY-creative-folks use these days…lying about his room for him to randomly discover from time to time! Ooh, and while I’m in there, I’ll…flip over his pillow! Eh, let’s just consider it a course in...real-life training...for when he’s going to have to share a dorm room with someone, who might handle his stuff on occasion, as people do. (Or, you know, it’s just for my own amusement…whatever…) Mwah hah hah!

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