Thursday, April 9, 2009

Put me in, Coach!

It is a much-published fact in parenting magazines that if Motherhood were officially recognized as a profession, and mothers were actually paid an appropriate wage for the tasks they perform, they would easily pull in a 6-figure salary. The point they're trying to make is that mothers toil away at the endless chores of cooking, cleaning, caring for the children, etc., with very little recognition or material reward. Just for laughs, contrast that with the life of a professional baseball pitcher. He throws a ball for a few hours in a game, every 5th day, for which he earns (at minimum), hundreds of thousands of dollars. It works out to something like thousands of dollars PER PITCH for some of them. You can see the absurdity of the situation.

Since the season has just begun, here are a few other ways baseball players have it better than me:
--I work out every day, too, and no one pays me squat (get it? squat? I'd probably do more of them if I got a buck-a-rep!)
--Each day, someone else picks up the dirty laundry, washes/dries/fluffs/folds it, and returns it.
--2 words: Clubhouse Buffet! It's my most cherished fantasy...meals just magically appear every day without me having to plan the menu, purchase the food, or prepare anything! And it gets cleaned up, too! Heaven!
--If I strain a muscle bending over the dishwasher or twist my ankle chasing my 5-year old, a trainer doesn't charge into the room to examine me. At the end of my day, there's no whirlpool. No massage. No advice to "take a day off tomorrow and rest it." I'm sometimes listed as "day to day", but I don't have time for the DL!
--Finally, there aren't oodles of fans yelling my name and cheering every time I succeed. I caught the noodles before they hit the floor...YAAAAY! I remembered the Cracklin' Oat Bran at Giant...and the crowd goes wild!

Hmmm...I actually think some of these are do-able for Team WestEnders. And as the Player/Manager of this club, I just might start implementing some changes around here! Time for a team meeting and pep talk!

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